I feel sorry that the OP has had such a bad experience, but I think hes wrong to blame all couples for his lack of a naturist partner. Something he hopes for on his profile . I wish him the best of luck.
I admire your shift in attitude to show acceptance and empathy. I also encourage you to consider going through some of those 400 contacts and reaching out to make new friends. As more mature men, it's important for us to realize that we are the generation that younger people look to for wisdom, empathy and a listening ear. It turns out we have a lot to learn from each other, but as the old joes we need to take the initiative to inquire, affirm and encourage. Sometimes I question if I'm just my same old young stupid self with grey hairs, but I'm not. We're not. I affirm how we alll 50+ have a lot to offer, and it starts with our hearts of compassion and courage, and all shall be well.
Three a week? Sounds pretty average to me. So you go to the bother of checking their profile out ... decide you dont want anything to do with them ...but then dont delete their request ? ?? Mmm. And they all want to have sex with one or both of you? Mmm. .. And you dont want anything to do with them but have saved up their friend requests over a couple of years? Mmm. And youre real naturists but theyre definitely not? Mmm Youve made up your own set of naturist rules so you know who is and isnt a real naturist isnt that right? Mmm. Those single naturist types ... probably all weirdos?? Dyou reckon? Mmm. They must be - sure theyre queueing up in their hundreds wanting sex with you. Isnt that right? Mmm
I wondered the same thing!
Are we collecting, Stevo? Just in case? Mmm.
Out attitudes havent shifted, they have always been that social norms and expectations dont change for naturists when you take your clothes off.
Our mistake was joining this site after being naturists for over a decade and expecting it to reflect what we experience in the real world. It doesnt.
We have never had a problem with single men on beaches or at resorts. For the most part they behave exactly like everyone else. Being respectful and approachable.
The OP reaction to being ostracised by couples on the internet is giving him a skewed image of what goes on in the real world. (Go to the beach, act normally)
I honestly pity the people new to nudism who join TN to find out more about it. Sure theres lots of great information but it also has a lot of nonsense that only happens on the internet. If they then take those nonsense attitudes to the beach or resort then we are all doomed.
Thanks, CodeBear, for articulating a lot of what I feel.
I'm not exactly new to the naturist world, having done sporadic nude gatherings over the years, but I am new to the social scene as portrayed on this site. I'm old enough to have formed my own attitudes toward nude situations and the people I find in them, but young enough (I hope) to be able to adapt to whatever situation I'm in, if it means that I can practice naturism in my own way while fitting in to what others are doing.
I'm learning that there are pervs out there. I'm learning that there are people who want to share their views with me, and people who want to inflict their views on me. I'm learning, most of all, that visitors to this site are a cross-section of humanity, coming to grips with something that is new to them and trying to figure out the rules, and discovering that the rules differ from place to place and context to context. Understandably, there is some confusion and need for direction, and with a little bit of luck someone will come along to address those things.
I'll keep visiting, in hopes of finding some genuine friendships and rewards among the dross.
Code, I look at every request we get. If it comes without a message Ill still look, but if the sender cant be bothered to include a message I dont bother sending them one.
If there is a message (non sleazy) like hi, Ill send a hi back, if it leads to a conversation fine but sometimes I think people are so surprised to get a reply they freeze up.
Ive come to the conclusion that America naturism (With Woodsmans help) is something quite different from European naturism. It seems to be more natural and relaxed here, we dont seem to encounter the same issues often raised (pun intended) on this site. Or at least no where near as often.
StevieLorna wrote:Woodsman suggested the difference in attitude to me in another thread. He is American who has spent time in Europe so I accepted his greater knowledge.
Remember the old story about the blind men investigating an elephant, and coming up with different metaphors? I think that our examination of the subject is like that. We're seeing different aspects of the culture in different lands and are always risking the danger that we're extrapolating what we see.
And I think Jehoram was the one that differentiated between the older, more organized culture and the newer, more free-form culture, and how the two didn't really associate or overlap with each other. But it does correspond with what I've seen.
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