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I went to a gender reveal party over the weekend, for some reason I was the only one who was nude.

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Date: l love animals... Me: l work with animals...Date: are you a vet?.... Me: No, l'm a Butcher.... that is where it always go wrong.

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P.E.T.A.=People Eating Tasty Animals

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Out of all the things that taste like chicken..... It's weird that eggs are not one of them.

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Never piss off a woman....they can remember stuff that hasn't even happened yet.

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So true its like most of them can see into the future with esp or something.

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Upon being invited to dinner, I ask if I can bring anything. The response is, just yourself. So I apparently I dont need to bring clothes! :D

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You can tell by a woman's feet how she feels about you..lf they are behind your ears, that means she likes you.

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Most people are assholes, don't believe me? Next time you see a group of people, yell, Hey Asshole, l bet they all turn and look.

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Next time someone calls you an asshole say " I am not anasshole, I am a mirror. SO if you look at me and see an ashole you are seeing your own refletion"

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