Hi Seb - Once a week or so I check back to see if you've responded anymore and its been a good while now. I do realize you were struggling with who you are , your relationship among your flatmates, and finishing up your dissertation. Maybe I've missed something... but can you bring us up to date over the last 2 months? Map..
I have decided to copy and paste parts of my journal. Let me talk about the day after, May, 29th.
I woke up holding geeky boy still, and rugby boy holding me. I felt rugby boy's breathing on my neck, it was slow, and warm. Sent shivers down my spine. My neck is very sensitive. My junk was between geeky boy's thighs, semi hard. I extracted it slowly. It was sort of wet and sticky, I think I came in between his thighs in my sleep. It doesn't seem to bother him.
As I extracted myself from between his thighs, geeky boy's turned his head kind of towards me, and said "morning". I hugged him very tight for a while. It was so comforting. I must say I hate being alone for too long. I feel extremely lonely. Waking up next to him, next to them feels very comforting to me.
I told him "sorry for the mess", and he replied "what mess? Oh..." He rubbed his thighs against each other, and said "nah, that's okay." He laughed. I laughed.
Rugby boy woke up, and said, as he was rubbing his eyes with his right hand, "what are you bitches giggling about?" Geeky boy and I laughed even harder. Geeky boy stood up, and put on the briefs I left by the bedside, and left the room.
Rugby boy saw him leaving, and said "bitch took my underwear". I smiled, and replied "mine, actually". He looked at me, and said "so, mine."
He was on his back, rubbing his junk, but only his torso was uncovered by the duvet. I asked "do you want some privacy?" He smiled, and said "more like a hand." I laughed, and went to my bathroom, but left the door open. I brushed my teeth. My breath smelled like wine, still. I heard him moaning after a while. He was obviously executing his plans of a morning release.
I heard him pacing towards me, he passed behind me, his right hand gooey, and slapped my butt cheeks with it. I laughed, and said "classy." He laughed, too. He winked, and said "shower time". I went in the shower stall, while he was peeing. He was still hard. Must have been a struggle. I know the feeling, you can never get the angle quite right.
I got the water running, and he hopped in the stall, rinsing his hands first. He said "sorry I stained your sheets." I laughed, and said "these could be sample for DNA at this stage." He smiled, and said "hopefully it's mostly mine, and yours." I laughed, and said "I doubt it." He replied, "hmmmm... I see. Kinky."
I let him lather himself first, and I was quite enjoying the feeling of the water running on my face, it was cleansing, it felt almost spiritual. I felt him lathering my back, and he started to lather my torso and belly with his left hand simultaneously. It felt nice.
He lathered my armpits and arms, and my neck. My junk was hardening as he was lathering my neck. Dang. I said "legs, please", and he laughed and said "I'm on my way, sir." He went down my junk, his left hand going down my chest, and my tummy. He eventually went to my junk, and laughed. He said "that neck, huh?" I smiled, and said "don't ask." He replied "huh, interesting. Gotta play with you more."
With his right hand, he washed my butt cheeks, and I let him lather in between, and my taint, even though I wasn't sure I was perfectly clean. I trust him. But it's very vulnerable.
He lathered my legs, and feet after that. He gave me the soap, and I lathered my hair and face as he was rinsing himself. He started rubbing his whole body against mine. I said "bitch, this ain't prison." He laughed, and said "actually, you'd be MY bitch." I laughed, and said "I doubt it, cray."
He grabbed my towel, and dried himself first as I was rinsing my eyes. I said "nice, a wet towel. "He laughed, and said "thanks for sharing." He started to shave, using my razor. He hummed a song. I think it was a bridge from The National's "Runaway", but I am not sure.
Geeky boy entered my bathroom, and said "coffee's ready, guys." I jumped into some pants. I went straight to the kitchen. It felt like heaven, only with more caffeine in it. As I was sipping it in the kitchen, standing against the kitchen sink, geeky boy emerged from my room, and said "[rugby boy] asked if he could wear my briefs. That was weird." I smiled, and said "these are mine." Geeky boy winked, and said "I know." We laughed. I hugged him. I said "we're just a weird bunch, aren't we?" He kissed my neck, and said "beautifully weird." I blushed.
When I came back (May, 29th) home after a full day, frat boy was on the couch, reading a French novel. I asked how last night went at his girlfriend's place, and he laughed, and said "oui, oui, baguette", and winked. I laughed.
I asked where the other were, and he said geeky boy was taking a bath in the main bathroom. I knocked at the bathroom's door, and geeky boy asked "who is this?". I said "le French police". He laughed. I came in, the door wasn't locked. The bathroom was steamy. He was indeed in the bathtub. I undressed, didn't say a word, and hopped in. I sat behind him, hugging him. I kissed his neck. He laughed, and said "the other guys will be jealous." I heard "what other guys?" It was frat boy. The door was kind of open, and his head popped in. We turned. We all laughed. Geeky boy blushed real hard. I did, kind of.
Frat boy said "is there room for me?" I looked at the bath tub, there really wasn't. Frat boy laughed, and caressed the top of geeky boy's hair, and mine. He said "all right kids, be good." Geeky boy and I laughed, and said "yes, dad." Frat boy winked at me, and said "I prefer daddy."
I lathered geeky boy's back for a long while, and played with his hair. I made a Mohawk with his, and then with mine. I said "don't we look like twins now?" He turned, looked at me, and laughed. "Sometimes, I wonder if we are." He kissed my cheek. I blushed. It was very intimate, emotionally.
A lot of you asked if I had feelings for any of the boys. I do, for all of them. It's a deep affection, and an admiration for them, how strong and yet playful they are in the face of so many challenges. Loneliness and hard work being among many of them.
I hugged geeky boy and said "I missed you today." He replied "you did, huh?" I smiled.
He stood up, he was really hard. He said "okay, let's rinse off before dinner." I stood up too. I was all soapy.
He rinsed me, and he rinsed himself. As I was toweling with his towel, he grabbed my clothes, and put them on, while he was still wet. He was shivering. I hugged him, and said "you sure you don't want the towel?" He smiled, and said "no, you have it. I looked at him, and I asked "what am I supposed to wear now? He said "nothing, the way God intended." I smiled, and said "a fig leaf would have been nice." He looked at my junk, and said "wouldn't cover it all. Looks like you have the snake already." I blushed, and I laughed. I put his pants on, without any underwear. As we went out, frat boy gave me a look, and said "hope you've been good, kiddo." I smiled, and winked at him. He winked back at me, and said "dinner time, the twins", as he looked at geeky boy dressed in all my clothes. I went to my room, put some deodorant on, and a clean t-shirt.
I heard the main door being opened, and rugby boy screamed "am home, guys. Brought pizza and beers." I heard frat boy from the main room say "thanks, mate. I owe you one." I heard the two of them laugh. Rugby boy went to my room, and said "I brought...." I interrupted him, and said "thank you so much! You're the best!" He laughed, and said "I am, aren't I?" He winked at me, and kissed my neck. I said "not fair."
He looked at my junk, which admittedly got semi hard. He said "I have power over you. How ironic. How the tables have turned." I put my hand on his junk, which was completely hard, and I said "looks like we're even."
He blushed, and said "are you gonna be home tonight?" I winked, and said "no, after dinner, I'm hooking up at my girlfriend's". He laughed, and said "think of me when you fuck her." I laughed, and said "I think of you when I fuck your girlfriend too." He laughed, and I winked. He said "you're naughty!" when I left my bedroom, to go to the kitchen. I turned, and said "you're naughtier", and winked.
It is so good to hear from you Sebastian. You seem to have landed on your feet after whatever was going on with you and I'm glad. We are looking forward to hearing more about your US visit, your roommates, and where life leads you after graduation.