RE:Terminology *Bisexual*

Iagree i was molested when i was young and gave in to a brother in law in my teens let him give me oral sex more than once and i was married .
Please accept my condolences that you are the victim of sexual abuse. It does not define you, but trauma can lead to unhealthy feelings and behaviors as a result, which can be refered to as acting out or PTSD. Please consider getting professional help to determine if your trauma has a negative impact in your life. You deserve to be free from it if so. Good luck.

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RE:Terminology *Bisexual*

Iagree i was molested when i was young and gave in to a brother in law in my teens let him give me oral sex more than once and i was married .

I was, too, and described in another post how it might have led to panic attacks when, in my twenties, I was propositioned by two gay men. The difference between me and the person you were responding to was that in my case, it was involuntary. In his case, I'm not sure it was involuntary. A lot of guys and girls start exploring their sexuality at that age, before they settle on a sexual identity they feel comfortable with, I should add that any sort of involuntary sex is bad, and it's particularly bad when an adult uses his or her positions of superiority to coerce a victim's participation. And this position of superiority is often reinforced by the position of leadership, as with religious leaders or scoutmasters or whatever, as we all realize by now.

Please accept my condolences that you are the victim of sexual abuse. It does not define you, but trauma can lead to unhealthy feelings and behaviors as a result, which can be refered to as acting out or PTSD. Please consider getting professional help to determine if your trauma has a negative impact in your life. You deserve to be free from it if so. Good luck.

Again, the poster didn't state whether the event was traumatic or not (although he did use the word "molested," which is a term often used for any sexual relationship, consensual or not, between an adult and a minor*). He certainly might have felt guilt, in response to social conditioning. If his religion has taught him that such conduct is bad, he might have felt some shame, just as people find nudity itself to be shameful if they're raised to think of it that way.

But I know a few people in his position that find themselves quite comfortable with bisexuality. It doesn't have a negative impact on their life, and they don't need counseling, and the implication that they do would be uncalled for. They can happily indulge their taste in sex wherever it may lead.

Of course, if the person shows signs of PTSD or panic when in the company of gay people, counseling might help them a lot. Same for rape victims, who often suffer PTSD when in situations that remind them of their experiences, or where they sense a threat to them somewhere. And I reiterate that involuntary sex with a child is reprehensible in all its forms.

*This inevitably leads to a discussion on "statutory rape," which is a minefield all by itself. It's defined as any relationship, consensual or not, between an "adult" and a "minor" as defined by the law in each jurisdiction. The basis is that the "minor" is not in a position to give consent, but the facts that these laws vary widely from place to place, and that people as young as thirteen are allowed to marry in some jurisdictions, cloud the issue and point out the arbitrary nature of the law.

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RE:Terminology *Bisexual*

[quote
Human sexuality is a beautiful, unique gift and each sexual fingerprint is different from the rest. If we survive as a species without aging out or killing each other, it's serving its purpose, isn't it?

Well said! I'm getting very tired of labels. No need to put folks in a box that defines them.

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RE:Terminology *Bisexual*

Why all the need for labels, straight sex, gay sex, bi sex. In the end you are having sex with the partner if your choice, that is all. It is sex, irrespective of your gender or their gender.
I acknowledge the desire for terms such as gay, bi, straight etc in terms of sexuality but when it comes to sex then it is sex full stop. No need to label it.

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RE:Terminology *Bisexual*

Why all the need for labels, straight sex, gay sex, bi sex. In the end you are having sex with the partner if your choice, that is all. It is sex, irrespective of your gender or their gender.I acknowledge the desire for terms such as gay, bi, straight etc in terms of sexuality but when it comes to sex then it is sex full stop. No need to label it.

Here's my issue, and please, you be you, and don't stop.... please. The labels still make some of us criminals in US states, and in some countries, carry the death penalty. You're not going to be thrown out of the house in your teens for being str8 in most cases but I can tell you what happens to many men and women who are caught in same sex acts. This isn't desire, it's oppression. No one wants to get thrown out of home, or hung, or put in jail for having sex. If it's just sex, why isn't it just sex in these cases? And is it going to get better by taking away the labels? I mean, don't use them if you don't want to, but other people may have a reason. Mine are less and less important to me, but they used to be. The world of freedom and fluidity this ideology describes doesn't exist, except in a very limited fashion. Words have meaning. You have a name. Why bother? Isn't that a label (for some people, sexuality or gender expression is more important than their name)? Or are people not bottles or boxes and are identities not actually ingredients? And you're going to find that most people are not really just ignoring the gender of their partner, or their own, or even not caring about it. If you can, go for it, I guess I am halfway there... here's the thing. If it is a private act, then let it be private, and without any outside definition (as would be right), but when we self declare in public we're doing it for any number of reasons. That act isn't simply one of choosing a colour out of many. It's political, it's personal, it's powerful or disempowering, it communicates and it invites scrutiny. Not possible for most people to just drop it and leave it and is it really going to be good for everyone if we do, or does it perhaps privilege some and not others?

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RE:Terminology *Bisexual*

Here's my issue, and please, you be you, and don't stop.... please. The labels still make some of us criminals in US states, and in some countries, carry the death penalty. You're not going to be thrown out of the house in your teens for being str8 in most cases but I can tell you what happens to many men and women who are caught in same sex acts. This isn't desire, it's oppression.

Very well said! (Your whole post, not just the one I excerpted.) It's something we're born with, not a "life-style" we choose. I compare it to being left-handed or right-handed. Some people are either one or the other, while others are ambidextrous. But even the ambidextrous ones use one hand for some things and not for other things. In most enlightened countries in most enlightened times, it's no big deal.

Same with bi-sexuality, except that as you pointed out, it's still a crime not to be strictly heterosexual or asexual. As a world, we have a long way to go before we embrace tolerance and ditch these old-fashioned attitudes.

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RE:Terminology *Bisexual*

As a world, we have a long way to go before we embrace tolerance and ditch these old-fashioned attitudes.

There you go. Dreaming again. All I can say is that we seem to be approaching that ideal world, with baby steps. There have been setbacks, with religious fundamentalists trying to drag us back to medieval times, but still and all, we're closer to that world than we were five hundred years ago.

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RE:Terminology *Bisexual*

To be honest, I'm not sure what I am in terms of sexuality (think that's spelt but hey) My wife claims to be straight but she's Polish and I think she's afraid to come out as the Polish are very hostile towards anything that isn't, well, Polish. Me, I think I'm very curious, bi curious whatever that means. Shouldn't it be gay curious?

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RE:Terminology *Bisexual*

Jimboski82, maybe just, "curious".

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RE:Terminology *Bisexual*

I have known I was bisexual since I was young, probably as early as 10-11. It is only recently that I started going by the term queer. I feel that much better fits me regardless of who I am in a relationship with

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