I had a very similar experience as Lee with my wife. She did not want to visit a resort initially but after a year or so of gentle 'this might be interesting', she agreed to a tour of a resort.
Similar to the process I went through with my first wife. It also took right around a year of talking about it before she agreed to a nudist resort trip. Our personal journey can be broken down into 4-5 stages; maybe this can be helpful to someone facing the same issue:
Stage 1 - the introduction: She made it clear she didn't want to be naked; and preferred to not be around a "bunch of naked people." So I made a phone call to the local nudist resort and confirmed that she could stay covered up outside the pool area. Furthermore it was spring and "business was still slow." So we settled on an early weekday morning to go. And we pretty much had the entire resort to ourselves. So there was no pressure for her to undress or to be around "a bunch of naked people."
Result: the near-total privacy made it easy for her to get comfortable. After a while staying covered up, she finally decided to get in the hot tub; since we had the entire clubhouse to ourselves. After that she decided to discreetly remain nude for a little while in and around the clubhouse. And most importantly she even had fun.
Stage 2 - moving forward: Her positive experience created the momentum to bring up another trip; this time to a different resort during an out of town vacation. She even agreed to an overnight stay. This time was on a weekend during the summer. But it was also C/O so there would still be no pressure to disrobe.
Result: the first day she kept her sarong on the entire time. We slept nude that night; and the next morning she decided to stay nude to have breakfast on the porch of our bungalow. It was very early and there was no one around. Afterwards she decided to "push herself" a little and agreed to go exploring the resort without putting her sarong back on. Which led us to the pool area. There were only a couple of people there; so she figured that if we sat at the far end of the pool area, she could stay nude there for a while without feeling self-conscious. So "way in the back", and to get in the pool, she stayed nude, swam and relaxed for a while.
Stage 3 - socialization: The next stage was a non-landed club event. That part was really tricky and a much tougher "sell"; because it involved being around "a bunch of naked people." She agreed to it with the stipulation that she would not be "naked in front of a bunch of strangers."
Result: she did keep her sarong on the entire time. But she did get to meet and socialize with other nudists, and realize that being around a "bunch of naked strangers " wasn't so bad after all.
Stage 4 - nudism: She agreed to a return trip to the non-landed club.
Result: I've shared that story many times - so in summary - the result was a culmination of: having gotten used to the nudist environment, having been nude several times in it, and having been around naked people in a personal way. She started in her sarong; but then had herself a "moment", and in that "moment" she decided to toss her sarong. She decided to be nude with the people who were no longer just "a bunch of naked strangers." She socialized as a nudist the entire day; way into the evening.
Stage 5 - freedom: this stage was more like an "aftermath" since at that point she had been socially nude. It began with a follow-up trip to a nudist resort. This one was actually a joint agreement. There were no stipulations or requests on her part.
Result: we arrived on a late Saturday morning, checked in and headed to the pool area. It was crowded because it was their annual "open house." I asked her if she wanted to sit in the back of the pool area; and she indicated instead a spot right by the pool. Some friends from the non-landed club joined us; and the moment my wife saw them, she immediately got up dropping her sarong to meet and give them a hug. It was then that the realization "hit me" as to how far she'd come. A year prior she'd been "strongly reluctant." Now she was openly naked, sitting and walking around right in the middle of a crowd of naked people, chatting and having fun with a couple of nudist friends.
Conclusion: sometimes you have to go through many stages with a non-nudist wife. 5 stages might seem like a lot; but sometimes it can take even more (or less). Sometimes you might even go through a setback and have to start over.
I would add that between the "stages" it wasn't always easy-peezy. I'd get a lot of: "no not this weekend I'm not up to it", "is that the only thing you can think of for us to do?", "ok; but just know I'm not going to enjoy this!", "I'll go but don't expect me to take anything off or talk to anyone!" It was enough to make me pull all my hair out. But I understood it was anxiety. It would take her 4-5 stages to work through her anxiety; but ultimately the important thing was that she got there. The key is obviously patience, caring and understanding.
Personally, my wife is not only uncomfortable with her nudity, she is uncomfortable with mine. She knows I like to be nude but thinks nudity leads to sex so does not support me going to the nude beaches. However, I look at other interests we have. Many interests we enjoy together and some we don't understand the attraction to the others interests...(me: coin collecting...her: Dancing with the Stars). I look at this in the same category. I'm not going to draw her into the excitement of coin collecting and she is not going to try to have me enjoy Dancing With The Stars.
I've been a nudist since I got married, but my wife isn't. It was always a challenge to live my nudity with a non-nudist. I'm still in the stage of getting her to accept my nudity so I can try to convince her to join me.
I got my wife to come with me to a resort for my birthday last month. She got Ver the shyness pretty quickly, and she talked all the way home about what other weekends we could return. Hasnt spoken a word about it since, whereas I have jumped in headfirst.
Im sure shell come around, I just have to be patient and persistent.
my situation seems to be a mixed bag. my wife is not a nudist and sometimes thinks my nudity is "strange." that said, when i explained to her that i enjoy not having to wear clothes in warm weather and that it is not "strange" just "different," she more or less acquiesced to my being nude when possible in the warmer times of the year. btw, i get cold too quickly so when it does get chilly, i get dressed. when we sit in the kitchen in the summer she complains she is too hot while i sit with at most shorts on. i tell her she is wearing too many clothes. she rolls her eyes at me and doesn't change attire.
over time i have convinced my wife to do some things without clothes. for instance, we have a summer home with a spa and pool. given the pandemic, we often go up there with just the two of us. several years ago, i at least convinced her that when it was just the two of us, we should use the hot tub naked. she does that. then i asked, again if it is just the two of us at the house, why, when she swims laps in the pool (it's 20 yards long), she would wear a suit. so she doesn't wear a suit to swim laps. however, as soon as she's done and she just wants to catch some sun, she will put on a swim suit bottom and just tan top free. she does say that swimming laps is easier without a suit because the straps don't cut into the shoulder. but she is conscientious about a childhood scar she has and some weight she has gained so she will not tan nude.
she knows it is important to me to go places to be nude so when we went to palm springs last year, she agreed to spend one night at desert sun resort. she did swim laps naked in the big pool, but wore her suit (top down) around the other pool. she did go into the hot tub without clothes even when others were there in the evening. and another time she agree to stay with me in a clothing optional BnB near pasadena for a weekend, altho, again around the pool, she wore her suit, top down. we regularly vacation in st martin on orient beach (although not recently because of the hurricane and pandemic). i go down to the beach each day, and she stays by the pool (we stay at esmeralda) and we meet up for lunch and then again at dinner.
i will never convince her to be a nudist and she will never convince me to be clothed all the time. she concedes a few things for me and i concede (put some clothes on at times) for her.
although my interest in nudism has been mostly within the last 10 or 15 years, this give and take works with nudism as it has for other things during our 43 year marriage.
apologies for the lengthy post.
Sounds like the kind of compromises that make for a good marriage. I dont see my wife ever going to a nudist resort or even skinny dipping in our pool and I wont try to change her mind. She knows what naturism means to me and supports it. Shell often spend time with me in the backyard and, even though she is clothed, we still enjoy each others company. Do I wish she could experience what I do? Sure, but Im not going to force my beliefs on her.
Weve got 25 good years together so far and hope for another 25.
I think it would have been easier marrying a non nudist than a wife who has become anti nude.
Me and my wife became friends for months before actually taking it further. It was her lack of inhibitions and confidence that partly attracted me to her. Once together I brought up that I felt more comfortable nude and wanted to live the nudist lifestyle. She had no reservations about it even though an element of exhibitionist with her.
Years later after the birth of our third child things started to change. At first I put it down to lack of free time together. She then had a period a very ill health which seemed to be the final nail in the coffin. Once better her attitude to everything started to change. Even the slightest hint got a firm no.
A couple of years have now passed and I've decided life is far too short. The journey ahead is more daunting going it alone as I know what single males are up against. I have met genuine nudists and also those far from it. I'd be much happier still having a wife to spend days on the beach with or for walks out in the countryside. I've now given up on that though,i don't think anything will change her view.
I'm yet to figure out how the illness changed her. It's not changed her physically and seems to be just mentally. I'm now lucky to catch a glimpse of her nude after being in the shower. I also find it odd how she was always firmly against being smooth. Now she lives clothed she is fully smooth and shaves frequently to keep it that way. I did question if she's having an affair but considering how little she is out when not at work it would have to be worst sexual affair ever. I had hopes after one night this summer. We'd had a few drinks and she seemed a bit more like her old self. I suggested we sit out in the garden like we used to. I undressed but she was hesitant until sitting out there. I was amazed when she did join me nude. We spent the rest of the night nude until morning. She then didn't even mention the previous night and returned to her new self. I found it easier with my ex who was anti nude from the start.
I think it would have been easier marrying a non nudist than a wife who has become anti nude.
I think it is.
My first wife outright quit nudism after several years. I won't go into the causes of her "change of heart" except that she was terribly unhappy; but it was a rather harsh ending. It happened in one hard conversation.
What made this so gut-wrenching was the nudist life we'd shared. We had nudist friends, visited nudist resorts frequently; and had even raised our daughter as a nudist. She was so friendly that people really liked her; and she was so comfortable socializing naked that other women gravitated towards her and regarded her as a role-model.
What makes it so hard was "what we had and is now gone forever." It's hard to not feel terrible about it and it can erode a relationship. . When you're married to a non-nudist at least you're not bemoaning "what once was." It's a "clean slate", so to speak.
And at least with non-nudist wives there's always hope. My current wife was a non-nudist when we first met. She is now a full-fledged social nudist.