Expressing naked confidence ...and how other people might interpret it.
My last post about me possibly misinterpreting my wife's confidence got me thinking. How often is naked confidence misinterpreted by the "outside observer?"
Flashback to some years ago with my first wife. We were at a non-landed club get-together when a strongly reluctant newbie showed up with her husband. She clearly didn't want to be there and sat by herself fully dressed. No one was speaking to her so my wife took it upon herself to go and meet her. The woman was initially totally put off by "this completely naked lady confidently walking naked towards her." But in spite of her initial reaction, before long the woman started relaxing and asking my wife questions about nudism. And eventually the woman expressed some amazement at the fact that my wife could sit comfortably nude right in front of her; and walk around and interact naked with other nudists, without a trace of self-consciousness. My wife explained that is was simply confidence she had built up through repetition. The woman evidently found it inspirational and became interested in exploring her own naked confidence (or lack thereof.) I think being able to hear the backstory to how my wife became so confident helped her understand the benefits of it.
Flashforward to two years ago; during my now-wife's first time at a nudist resort. We were sitting outside the pool; and on the other side of the fence, just a few feet from us in the pool area, was a woman tanning. Legs wide open. So open in fact that her inner labia was visible. My wife turned to me and muttered something along the lines of: "OMG...what is wrong with that woman?!" I thought it was a good "teachable" moment. First off, the woman was glistening with tanning lotion; so more than likely she was just going for a "seamless all-over tan." Second, she was actually facing away from the pool area; so she wasn't showing herself off. She probably just hadn't realized that we were sitting on the other side. So no...she was most likely not being an exhibitionist. She was just tanning in her own way. And my wife could understand it. Getting a rational explanation for this woman's "naked confidence" made her more accepting of it; and I could tell later on that it had left an impression on my wife. She certainly wasn't going to "splay out" like the woman; but she evidently showed less concern about how she was lying by the pool. Later that day we actually got to meet the woman with her S/O; and she was actually a very nice and friendly lady.
The moral to my two stories: non-nudists will come to different conclusions when witnessing "naked confidence." I think more often it will be along the lines of what my wife said: "OMG...what is wrong with that person?!" But if they get to understand the backstory of purpose of said confidence; most seem to actually "get it." They may still not be totally comfortable with it; or maybe they'll actually be inspired by it.
As usual, our stories are often similar to one another with regards to our wife's reaction and interpretation of things within social nudism. Di was shy and unconfident during our first few visits to our nude beach. The only time she got up out of the chair was to go into the water to pee (no facilities at our nude beach). One day, we visited the beach and were seated next to a woman and her husband. They were a little older than we were, old enough to be our mother, and Di was taken by this woman's confidence... "and at her age!". ;DDD This gave Di a bit more confidence and it grew after this older couple walked down to the water's edge and we followed. I got in the water and Di stood and talked with that woman. We talked for some time that day and Di's confidence switch flipped on from that day forward.
Because of this woman, Di began doing things she never thought she would while visiting this beach. She stripped as soon as she and I crossed the nude zone boundary. She wanted to go for walks and began to sit and lay out comfortably. In every instance prior, her teachings of "sitting like a lady" took over her comfort but since meeting this older woman and observing her throughout the day, she gained confidence in herself and nudism.
That same confidence surfaced at our club and some resorts we've visited. Di used to go through a myriad of contortions getting into and out of a lounge chair. Again, the idea of exposing all your lady parts was not lady like and had been drilled into her mind early in life. I explained that she was going to hurt or injure herself by not just getting out of the lounge chair like she would at home. She wasn't buying it until, on her own, watched and realized that she was the only woman on the pool deck contorting herself in these lady like positions. One other thing that she stopped doing was wrapping her bottom half with a sarong when walking across the pool deck to the bathroom.
She still, to this day, won't intentionally lay with her legs spread at a resort, as she sunbaths at home, but without realizing it, she'll get comfortable enough to do so. If I mention it, she just shrugs as if to say, "oh well, or I don't care." Some of that same confidence your wife showed on the balcony retrieving her phone.
I was at the beach last week and was talking with a guy who I have met recently, we were at the waters edge. I'd been reading prior to that and a woman came and put her things down and stripped off to get some sun, she was between where I was and this other guy, this woman was a large woman but seemed very comfortable. The guy I was talking with made a few unsavoury comments about her and I had to say to him that it's great that firstly a few more women were at the beach this day and second that this woman is comfortable enough despite her size to be naked on the beach like us. The media pushes so much rubbish about what any of us should look like, especially women, that I thought it was really good that this woman was happy / comfortable / confident (call it what you like) to be naked on the beach. She did put on a bikini to go for a long walk later and when she returned she spoke to me as she passed. We talked about what a beautiful beach we have and that I hoped she had enjoyed the day, she had. I walked back to my car with the other guy, I mentioned that I spoke with the woman and again reinforced that it was great that there were more women at the beach, regardless of whether they were large, small or anywhere in between, he agreed. I like to think something progressed last week at this beach.
Sadly... I've had more negative conversations about nudists, from nudists, than I'd hate to admit. Some so called, "nudists", can be very judgmental and rude toward other nudists and those visiting nude beaches, clubs or resorts. I've often heard many nudists say, "Whoa, there's a bit TOO MUCH body acceptance going on there!" I scratch my head over and over again at the way nudists treat nudists yet want society to treat us, as a community and wholesome lifestyle, with respect. If we can't give it or show it to our own, we shouldn't expect it from anyone else.
Not surprisingly, the two women that gave Di the confidence she needed to visit the nude beach so often, were a couple of bbw. Their confidence gave Di the confidence in her body that she needed to hear from another woman/women.
"She did put on a bikini to go for a long walk later and when she returned she spoke to me as she passed. We talked about what a beautiful beach we have and that I hoped she had enjoyed the day, she had."
Good stuff. I like the feeling of nonjudgmentalness and friendliness at CO beaches and hope it always stays that way. Actively being part of the solution is a positive step!
My thinking is that people willing to come to the beach alone and strip off (provided it's not someone just perving or doing things the beach was not established for) deserve a break and some support / encouragement. If it means this woman comes back some time I will feel we have done the right thing by her. It doesn't matter how large or small the woman was, it's a gutsy thing for a woman to come to a CO beach alone given the hassling they can get, let alone her stripping off totally.
Some years ago I was at Mazo Beach, wading in the river "philosophizing"; when I came across a nude woman standing by herself in the water. She would have fallen into the "morbidly obese" category. I smiled and said "Hi!"; and she immediately struck a conversation with me. We chatted for a good while. At the end of our conversation she asked me if we could hug; and I was happy to oblige.
If she got a boost of confidence from our interaction; then I did my "job" as a nudist.
I believe that until we can stop worrying about to what angle a womens legs are spread apart while naked simply shows the double standards that exist in our society. I do not try and cover my genitals while I am naked and spread my legs however I feel to enjoy the sun and simply being free. A woman should have the same right. Whether it be her exhibitionist side or her desire to feel the warmth of the sun on her labia. We as naturists need to be more accepting of each other. There is no one type of person. Stop trying to interpret others intentions and simply embrace life and the freedom to for ourselves and others to share more of ourselves in a less inhibited way.