farmer Jack

Farmer Jack lived on a quiet rural highway, but as time went by, the traffic slowly built up and eventually got so heavy and so fast that his free range chickens were being run a rate of three to six a week.
So Farmer Jack called the local sheriff to complain,
"You've got to do something about all these people driving so fast and killing all my chickens," he said to the sheriff.
"What do you want me to do?" asked the sheriff.
"I don't care, just do something about those crazy drivers!" said Farmer Jack.
So the next day the sheriff had the council erect a sign that said:
Three days later Farmer Jack called the sheriff and said,
"You've still got to do something about these drivers....
The school crossing' sign seems to make them go even faster!"
So again, they put up a new sign:
That really sped them up. So Farmer Jack called and said,
"Your signs are no good. Can I put up my own sign?"
In order to get Farmer Jack off his back the sheriff said,
"Sure. Put up your own sign."
The phone calls to the sheriff stopped, but curiosity got the better of the officer, so he called Farmer Jack,
"How is the problem with the speeding drivers?
Did you put up your sign?"
"Oh, I sure did and not one chicken has been killed," said Farmer Jack proudly.
This made the Sheriff really curious, so he thought he'd better go out and take a look at Farmer Jack's sign....
He also thought the sign might be something the police could use elsewhere to slow drivers down.....
So he drove out to Farmer Jack's house.
His jaw dropped the moment he saw the sign:

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RE:farmer Jack

Good one! Heres another
A blonde friend of mines RV got a flat tire, so she pulled off the road as far as she dared. She then put on an emergency vest and went out to inspect the damages. She pulled out two carboard cut-out standees of two nude women and placed them behind her coach one 6 back and the other about 30 back facing traffic, then called for roadside assistance. While she waited, cars slowed down, honked their horns & waved as they passed. Finally traffic got heavier and a patrol car came along to see what was going on. When he saw the cutouts he couldnt figure out what this was all about, so he stopped and asked my friend what was with the naked girls? She said: Theyre my emergency flashers silly

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RE: emergency flashers

Good one - thanks!

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