Exhibitionism and Voyeurism

I never, ever thought of myself as a voyeur.

The word never had the right sound to describe my tastes. It wasn't that the word was taboo, it just wasn't me. It had a non-consentual factor that never felt quite right. As soon as I heard the term "consentual voyeur" I immediately knew it was the perfect way to describe this long-time desire of mine. For those of you unfamiliar with the term, a consenting voyeur is someone who truly loves, and relishes in, giving lots of attention to an person who enjoys (and consents to) being watched.

To be honest, realizing I was a voyeur seemed like the more challenging side of the exhibitionist/voyeur coin. From what I understood, almost all people loved to watch someone else show off and get off. Exhibitionists were the amazingly confident (and rare) people on Chaturbate who were in the spotlight....voyeurs were the rest of us who watched.

Finding this site changed my perspective entirely. Reading posts and chatting with others made me understand that not all of the people showing off on Chaturbate identify as exhibitionists, just as not everyone watching them identify as voyeurs. It's a fun, passing experience for many people.

When I met a self-identified exhibitionist for the first time, there was this immediate connection. It was that magnetic "aha" moment I can imagine many exhibitionists and voyeurs experience when they meet each other. A complimentary kink connection.

What made it so awesome? Exhibitionists love the attention a true voyeur can give and, like many voyeurs, I had an almost limitless supply of attention to give.

To be honest, even today, I feel a bit nervous when meeting an exhibitionist. It sort of like meeting a unicorn, I can't believe they exist....someone who loves to be watched as much as I love watching. I often worry that asking them to show off and get nude so often might scare them away.

Apparently not!

Just as I can't believe there are people who love being nude and showing off, this exhibitionist explained they were surprised people like me existed - eager to give this attention so fully and deeply. Talk about a kink win-win!

The exhibitionist, who also happened to be a straight man, added that they loved having a voyeur consistently ask/tell them to get nude. This is because 1) its what they want to do all the time, and 2) it gives them permission to live out their kinky desires without worry of offending anyone, and 3) thet can get more into the experience of being watched, admired, and appreciated because they know their voyeur auduence is always eager to see more!

While having this conversation was incredible, we lost touch over time. I still find exhibitionists to be extremely rare and would welcome new exhibitionist friends if they are out there!

I am curious to hear from other voyeurs and exhibitionists....what is it like for you when you connect with someone with a complimentary kink?

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RE:Exhibitionism and Voyeurism

The discussion is clouded by the fact that "exhibitionism" and "voyeurism" have different definitions, depending on who you talk to.

If it's the simple pleasure of seeing naked people, and being seen by people while you're naked, I think that it sort of comes with the territory. But if people get a sexual thrill from it, it's up to them to either hide it or let people know what they're feeling. The usual response in nudist settings is to hide it, just as they would if it were a textile environment. Responding to that sexual thrill with provocative behavior or speech might put others ill at ease, particularly if they're new at the game. And that's not what nudism is all about.

The terms are made even fuzzier if sexual activity is involved. For some people, "exhibitionism" means public sex, and "voyeurism" means watching people have sex. And even though it may be totally consensual, it's frowned on because it distorts the public impression of nudism, in a society where nakedness is equated with sex.

As I've mentioned elsewhere, if people are getting a sexual thrill from seeing nudity or by being nude in front of people, that's their business. I'm not about to govern what goes on inside their heads, as long as their behavior doesn't cause discomfort to other people in everyday nudist environments.

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RE:Exhibitionism and Voyeurism

Exhibitionism, exposing yourself to others for sexual thrills.
Voyeurism, watching others for the purpose of sexual thrills
Nudist, a person who prefers not to wear cloths.

Nudism does not need to involve anyone else.

The first two involve other people and if its done without their consent then its illegal.

You can fuzzy the interpretation of the words all you like, but if you get into nudism to see or be seen by others then you are not a nudist.

Just own what you are.

If you are pretending to be a nudist because you think it gives legitimacy to your personal kink then thats just sad because it damages the legitimacy of nudism.

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RE:Exhibitionism and Voyeurism

BlgDudeMan wrote;

Nudism does not need to involve anyone else.

Agreed.

The first two involve other people and if its done without their consent then its illegal.

This is where it gets fuzzy. If a person is getting a sexual thrill when hanging around other naked people, but doesn't exhibit it (easier for a woman than a man!), and they don't know about it, it it still wrong? What's the harm? Of course, if that interferes with their enjoyment of life or their relationships with other people, then it's a problem, and a visit to a counselor is in order. But if it's not wrecking that person's life or anybody else's, I'm not going to say that that person is bad or wrong.

If you are pretending to be a nudist because you think it gives legitimacy to your personal kink then thats just sad because it damages the legitimacy of nudism.

All I can do in response is to quote Kurt Vonnegut: "You are what you pretend to be, so you must be very careful about what you pretend to be."

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RE:Exhibitionism and Voyeurism

I also wrote, own what you are.

If you are getting a sexual thrill being around nudist even if you dont show it, then thats probably why you hang around naked people making you a voyeur not a nudist.

Just be honest with yourself is what Im saying.

Dont bend the meaning of words just to satisfy a need to be not classed as having a perversion.

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RE:Exhibitionism and Voyeurism

The naked kink win-win term is not clear to me, nor is the thrill of the voyeur vs. the exhibitionist.
Is the person inherently glowing and beautiful, or only becomes beautiful and worthy of attention once their clothes are off?
I believe nudists are in touch with the power of spirit and sexuality because they feel no need to hide or dismiss it. Nor is it diminished by wearing clothes.
Who is watching and who is being watched? No matter. We all shine as beautiful people.
So maybe it's stripping down life to its inherent base beauty that's the naked kink win-win for me. But what do I know?

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RE:Exhibitionism and Voyeurism ok

Anyone walking down a street can admire the beauty of the young girl/boy they have just passed.

Another man might see the same girl and be filled with lustful thoughts, he then follows her and stands outside her bedroom window in the hope of seeing her naked. Thats not just a creepy situation, its also very sinister.

If a guy like that turns up on a nudist beach just to catch a glimpse of nude women is he now acting spiritually. Is it still no matter, whos seen and whos watching?

If the victim doesnt know they are a victim does it not matter?

Mr Andy I get that you are a spiritual man and nudism for you is spiritual.

Im not, the only time Im nude with others is on the beach. There could be a thousand people or more there if they are all spiritual I would not know, all they seem to be doing is the same as what I do, just sit and chill.

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RE:Exhibitionism and Voyeurism ok

Arousal and lust are different.

We can be aroused by all kinds of stimuli, and that can inclue seeing sexy people, naked or clothed.

Lust includes arousal. However, it is when one is driven to fulfill a sexual appetite.

Sexual arousal is wonderful and enables us to leverage our sexuality to give each other pleasure, strengthen our bonds, and create additonal human life.

Lust which is gluttonous in its focus is not only bad, can also lead to abuse that is both physical and emotional and wrong. However, one can be lustful whether all are naked, erotically dressed, or not.

We shouild be just as proud of our abilities to be aroused as our naked bodies. Stoneandy appears to understand that.

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RE:Exhibitionism and Voyeurism ok

Mr Andy I get that you are a spiritual man and nudism for you is spiritual. Im not, the only time Im nude with others is on the beach. There could be a thousand people or more there if they are all spiritual I would not know, all they seem to be doing is the same as what I do, just sit and chill.

Yes, I can talk about the spirituality of nudity and Walden Pond, but to me it's not a matter of being spiritual or not. It's to be an extrovert, one who gets his energy from others. I happen to be more an introvert and enjoy recharging my energy alone (and often naked). Thus, perhaps the question of voyeurs and exhibitionists is really best left for you extroverts.

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RE:Exhibitionism and Voyeurism

BlgDudeMan wrote:

I If you are getting a sexual thrill being around nudist even if you don't show it, then that's probably why you hang around naked people making you a voyeur not a nudist.

There are untold numbers of people who started being around nudists for precisely that thrill, but discovered that nudism had its own benefits, which came to eclipse their original motivations. So I suppose you could call that process "becoming a nudist." And it's a gradual process for most people. It's not a switch that gets flipped so that you go from "I get my kicks from being around nekkid people" to "What a groovy thing to be naked in this place, and associating with people who feel exactly the way I do." If a person ends up in the second stage, and manages to get from the first stage to the second stage without grossing out other people, I'm happy.

Around here, we call that growth.

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RE:Exhibitionism and Voyeurism

Mr woodsman you make a very valid point here. I concede that untold numbers of men do eventually grow (paradoxically) out of voyeurism and finally realise that is not what nudism is about. That should make you happy after all the world needs more nudist.

The problem is when you get right down to it, even if you are happy with it, you are not the one who is being victimised. How many women would constantly put up with a hundred eyes leering at them, or be happy with it?

Im not familiar with resort policy as Ive never been to one, but perhaps thats why so many more men than women want to go to one.

For every letch and leering dude that grows there will always be untold numbers coming along who haven yet.

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