RE:Accepting your Sexuality

I feel like I was fortunate enough to experiment at a younger age (17/18) by watching older men at the Y. I knew that when I got in college I was very much attracted to older men. I hooked up with a few from other dating websites and one of them grew very fond of me. So much so, he said he loved me and then I knew that I wasn't emotionally attached to a male. I understand the shame and guilt side of things because even now as a happily married dad, I still have urges of lusting for men. Alas, I had to break it off with that guy when I met my wife in my twenties.. knowing I was diving into a serious relationship I thought it best that we stopped seeing each other. He was also married with kids and very confused about his vanilla relationship with his wife and wanted what he's been missing his whole life. I feel like those of you that enjoy being with both men and women should embrace being bi and don't be ashamed of it. Let it be a bonding experience.

This post was edited
RE:Accepting your Sexuality

My realization and acceptance was less conventional others here. I would imagine that would be the case for many people with ASD, let alone someone like me who was only diagnosed as such in their late teens, making proper mental and social development that much more difficult. Before that point, while I had a decent number of friends and acquaintances, I had no particular interest in pursuing deeper relationships. I did have a "girlfriend" for the rest of that time in school, and while eventually it was clear that our connection wasn't as mutual as we initially thought, we're still close friends to this day. I definitely still had a stronger preference for women back then, not really having any intrusive thoughts about men, but intrigued on an academic level of sorts by the concept when talked to and taught about it, and obviously supportive of those around me that were open.

I commuted when I went to college, so I didn't look for relationships there either since I basically spent most of my time between classes each day simply doing my assignments. Given more independence at home, I started looking up outlets and communities for my interests and opinions, which naturally included how I would relax and sleep in my room, as that was my only option for that at the time. Obviously, that body-positivity would be for all its aspects, sexual or otherwise. When exchanging pleasantries and complements with these other people, I would think back about how I acted around my friends over the years regardless of their gender, and how that carried over into my adult life. At first I thought I was overthinking and assuming things, but as time passed and the feelings didn't pass with it, I slowly accepted that I could just as easily picture myself in a meaningful relationship with a man as I could with a woman, feeling just as "right" and "normal." I generalize "relationship" over the physical aspect alone since I've long since held a personal philosophy for that to be more like a perk to an already budding bond with a person, rather than a "goal" to achieve.

Once I got out of college, moved out, and started getting my footing, I finally started seriously looking up places to go and people to meet, to get that new friend circle forming. Some of those were nudist friends, most often men who were also bi or gay and had helped me on my journey of self-discovery. During some outings/visits we would usually share a couch and/or bed out of convenience and comfort with each other, and though we weren't looking for anything deeper out of it, we would still mildly experiment and further solidify our bond, and simple as they were, those experiences were still very fulfilling and affirming. I'm fairly certain i'm not becoming "more gay than bi" just yet like others here have said, but there's still plenty more of this life I have left to live, so who knows!

This post was edited
RE:Accepting your Sexuality

My story was very similar. Knew I had leanings towards men. Did the done thing got married had children. Felt dreadfully unhappy. Didn't know what love really was until I met a man at a bar and we became friends that turned into one day a physical relationship while we were naked sunbathing on a remote beach. The feeling was so intense and the orgasm better than I'd ever experienced. I knew that I loved him and he loved me in a way I'd never felt before
Due to my my conditioning it took me years to be really honest with myself and admit I liked guys more. I've possibly missed being able to meet a permanent partner but at 72 it's not too late especially as I only like men over 50
Cheers Richard

This post was edited
RE:Accepting your Sexuality

After a conversation about a nude guy at the beach with my gf which continued into an oral sex, and her love of it, discussion she suggested the only way to know why she enjoys it so much was to experience it. She was clear that if it was something o wanted to explore I should with her blessing. It wasnt something I had ever considered but over the following weeks and months the idea became more appealing. After further conversation and encouragement I decided if the opportunity ever arose ( no pun intended) which I doubted would Id stay open to the idea.
Months later, a situation did arise and I had my first experience. It took many months of deliberation for me to come to terms with what happened and that I had enjoyed it. My next experience was much more fulfilling, maybe because I was more at ease with myself.
Its not something I seek or need but Im ok with the idea these days.

This post was edited
RE:Accepting your Sexuality

GOOD FOR YOU!!! We humans are so complex, and a lot happiness would occur if we would let go of fear. Your GF let go of fear of losing you, likely out of love it sounds, and you got to explore, and let go the fear of being honest with yourself. Thanks for sharing this experience. These are the stories that the average person won't hear because bixsexual polyamorous behavior is not acceptable in the mainstream world. As a result, all sorts of people are living in fear that they are alone in their experiences.

This post was edited
RE:Accepting your Sexuality

These are the stories that the average person won't hear because bixsexual polyamorous behavior is not acceptable in the mainstream world. As a result, all sorts of people are living in fear that they are alone in their experiences.

So true! Society has created a lopsided "equality" between men and women often based in the woman's favor. As men our sexuality is half inside, half outside, making it more natural for us to seek pleasure physically without attaching emotional significance to that person. In the same way, homophobia treats friendships between men with suspicion while women are considered having more silly "girls' nights out." Women are often better able to articulate feeling and relate to other women, often sharing great details about their men with friends. There's a double standard that a woman in a heterosexual relationship is allowed to verbally eviserate a man and still be considered "faithful," whereas a man who ven looks at other people may be considered "unfaithful." Today's "equality" often isolates men and limits their relationships to their female partners networks (ever see a motely crew of men forced to hang out with no common interests while their wives and girlfriends have fun ignoring them?) Not only do men fear they are alone, they are indeed very alone as a result.

This post was edited
RE:Accepting your Sexuality

At what age did you accept you were bisexual or gay?I have noticed that a significant number of older men (married or not) identify as bisexual. I was curious about your journey of self-discovery that helped you reach that epiphany.For me, I enjoyed getting naked with my neighbor friend in his tree house. This progressed to self-exploration and then to exploring each other. I enjoyed it immensely, and it all became very addicting. The sad part was, once I went home to my conservative catholic family a sense of guilt and shame settled in as enjoying sex with another male was more taboo than premarital sex with a female. I enjoyed my share of straight sex in high school, college, and through 3 marriages. All the while I would drift back to satisfying encounters with men, with the guilt and shame creeping back when returning home.Around 40, I got sick and tired of being guilty about enjoying sex with men and accepted bisexual and the guilt and shame drifted away. With age, my desire for a man's touch over a woman's has increased to the point that I am definitely on the gay side of bi. A man understands a man's sexual wants, needs, and desires in a way a woman cannot. Men seem to need a different type of physical relationship than that desired by women. I love my wife intensely but have no desire for her, or women in general, sexually. So at 65, I am essentially gay. And,I am OK with that.What about you
42

This post was edited
RE:Accepting your Sexuality

Your Question was At what age did you accept you were bisexual or gay?
I always knew I was different but growing up in the 60s you just played along never letting others know your real feelings. I was always interested in other men fascinated in seeing men nude looking at there dicks. But never let on ! I did have a girl friend or 2 and experimented with sex but I was more into hand jobs and oral not looking for too fuck. I truly enjoy having foreplay getting and giving oral sex and hand jobs with them. And kept denying that I might be gay or bi . But was still thinking what it would be like to enjoy oral sex with a guy it was always in my mind. I would masturbate and think it would be more fun with a man to play with never really thinking about fucking a woman. Do not get me wrong woman are beautiful nude woman are very nice to look at and play with but I am just not interested in fucking them. I am fascinated by the amazing male penis in all its shapes and sizes when its hard and even when its soft . And knowing how great the man feels when he is ready to cum with men its easy to know how good it feels and when they are satisfied. It was not till I was 19 when I got a blow job from a guy that I truly Knew that was what I really wanted and enjoyed he knew just how to treat my dick and make me crazy with sexual joy. And I returned the favor and loved every second of it it just was like all I wanted to do was make him cum just to know what it tasted like! And I liked it I was amazed that I could give a guy so much joy. And how much fun it was ! To answer your question I was 19 when I found out that I enjoyed sex with man more than woman. But honestly would not say know to hours of nude fun with both men or woman

This post was edited
RE:Accepting your Sexuality

Still struggling with it. Attracted to both men and women but feel guilty about being attracted to men.

This post was edited
RE:Accepting your Sexuality

With 20/20 hindsight, my same-sex attraction was always there, but I didn't really recognize it. In my teens, I had what I can really only describe as an encounter of opportunity with a friend who was spending the night, and it was either comically tragic or tragically comical, depending on your perspective.

A few years later, after starting college, my best friend and I began watching porn together, which, over time, transitioned first to masturbation in front of one another, then to masturbating one another, and finally to oral. As roommates, we'd often watch porn and fool around, and occasionally just want to get off together, strip down, and jump in bed. But, even with all that, we still really considered one another to be straight, just stereotypically horny and willing to help one another out. After a falling out between him and our entire friend group, I found my first serious girlfriend, and whenever we'd rent porn, she'd get herself a bi or gay video.

Years later still, upon finding an online masturbation chat room, I spent years referring to myself as straight. I'd long since come to terms with the fact that I found both men and women sexually arousing, but I never really felt the sort of emotional attraction to men that I (wrongly) felt was inherent in the term "bisexual." It was only after getting tired of having to explain how I could be "straight" but enjoy sex with men that I reevaluated things on a deeper level and accepted the descriptor of "bi."

This post was edited