RE:parent talk: have you ever been caught by your kids?

Thanks, my psychiatrist already knows about all the stupid, self centred, judgmental, reactionary, humourless guys on here.G, you have read my post and the one before. You REALLY need to take a look at yourself if mine is the one you need to call out.

In your name calling you said "humourless". So you thought it was funny to basically ask a mom if she shared a penis with her 10 year old daughter.

WTF is the matter with you!!! That was rude, disgusting, and TOTALLY inappropriate!!! It is because of guys like you that so few women participate in any groups on this site. Remember this site is TN (True Nudists) NOT TP (True Pervert).

You have been asked before to think before you type. Is it really that hard to be decent and sival ???

Does anybody besides bigdude, think I am wrong in thinking his question above is just plain wrong?

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RE:parent talk: have you ever been caught by your kids?

In a likely futile attempt at calming the storm on this thread, Sarah states that she got caught - not that she let her daughter watch her finish after having been caught - and that she answered her daughter's questions and turned the situation into a teaching moment. I like to assume the best of other people ~ I think others have a tendency to assume the worst.

Maybe Sarah will come back on and explain things better herself if she hasn't already been scared away.

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RE:parent talk: have you ever been caught by your kids?

milwaukeew made a lot of good points here. A few of them showed a perspective that not all people may share, so I'm going to make an attempt to address them here.

It was careless to not take precautions such as locking a door before having sex when there is a child in the house who is old enough to see and not old enough to fully understand.

So the locked door is a signal to the child that Mommy is going to do something shameful with her boyfriend that the child can't see. Is that necessarily healthier than letting the kid see something that millions of people do every day and consider a vital part of their lives?

Perhaps if the girl walks in on partners multiple times, the partners erroneously could take that as an opportunity to involve the 10 year old in sexual activities. A parent should protect a child as a top priority.

That's a different thing entirely, to my mind. It's the "slippery slope" argument. If a kid walks in on partners multiple times, then the kid clearly hasn't been advised that the parents want some privacy. It's not the same thing as extending an invitation for the child to participate. And it isn't the same as "caught in the act" by the kid inadvertently, as Sarah's post implied.

Seeing mom have sex and being told it is natural may inadvertently set up the child, girl or boy, to feel it is expected and set him or her up for the pressure. No one, regardless of sex or age should feel compelled to have sex. This is why many U.S. States have what is called Statuatory Rape. If the child is too young to fully make a decision, the state says the child can't and sex with someone older is rape.

And that's a sound policy. But as you've pointed out, at the age of 10 a kid is already likely to have seen erect penises, breasts, and oral sex on the internet, if the parental controls on their computers or a friend's computers haven't been turned off. Or they've received sexts and pictures of their friends, as you've said. They've already got a distorted view of what sex should be about. At this point, if a child witnesses the act in person with somebody they know, it could be a teachable moment to fill him or her in on all the stuff that the porn industry won't tell you: the dangers of transmissible venereal disease, the pressures the kid will face from their schoolmates on performing these acts and how to counter them, and the difference between casual sex and commitment. Of course, the kid's maturity in understanding these things has to be taken into account, and they shouldn't be asked to accept concepts that they're not ready for.

In addition, girls and boys now feel pressure to match body images. So much so that eating disorders are common for both sexes. A 10 year old girl who sees mom having sex twice may learn that sex is expected.

Which is why it is important for the mom to take the opportunity to explain that sex should never be expected. It should only come when the kid is ready for it, and willing to anticipate the risks and consequences of it.

I have been clear that in my opinion, if a male has an erection, that is natural and normal. If it is okay to see a naked penis, it is okay to see a naked erect penis. However, I would not want a boy or girl seeing that naked erect penis to think it means that one has to have sex. Arousal may be a reflex but should not mandate behavior which may be unwanted.

Again, I agree. Kids should be taught the difference between spontaneous erections and sex-linked erections, so that they can be able to distinguish them. And they should be taught that a sex-linked erection is never an invitation to an unwanted sexual act, but an intrusion on another's private space, and needs to be treated as such.

I would respond to Sarah this way:"Sarah 35UK has said she is a single mother and I sense she may be overwhelmed. Perhaps, it would be great to find a couple of other nudist families that can mentor and support her. Ideally, the families will have girls or both boys and girls. Perhaps the can meet for dinner, clothed or naked first. I suspect Sarah35UK has her own body image issues she is dealing with while, as a single mother, trying to raise a 10 year old girl. Such mentors could be very helpful for her. Finding helpful mentors in the UK may be a great next step and then when she tries to go with her daughter to a nudist venu, they can go together.""Perhaps, even an older couple who have raised their own family would be good mentors.""Perhaps, possible mentors could privately befriend and message her. That way, she can get the assistance that would be helpful without the noise."

That is excellent advice. That's why I've steered her to UK forums where she might be able to find such people.

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RE:parent talk: have you ever been caught by your kids?

I agree 100% with that. Communication and honesty are the keys.

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RE:parent talk: have you ever been caught by your kids?

My son had walked in on me and my late husband once. And he has c@ught me jacking off. I just didnt make a big a deal of it

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RE:parent talk: have you ever been caught by your kids?

Late 1970's the woman I was dating at the time had a 9-year-old daughter whom she was raising as a nudist like a good nudist parent does. The ex-husband / father was also a nudist, so the daughter was used to seeing a naked man, so it was not a big deal seeing me naked around the house with and without an erection as she knew from her dad about the man's anatomy. We dated and unofficially lived together for 2 years and had a very healthy sex life. She walked in on one or both of us several times over the 2 years. Her bedroom was on 2nd floor, moms was on the 1st floor, tv family room was in basement. She only caught us a couple times in the bedroom with mom riding on top. It was usually down in the tv family room and after she had supposedly gone to bed and was asleep when she would walk in on us. She caught me one Saturday afternoon masturbating while mom was at the store, she was supposed to be next door playing but came home early. She caught her mom masturbating several times. Having oral sex. The first time she walked in on us I was mortified, but mom said not a big deal as she had walked in on her and her ex-husband a few times also from about age 7 and that they had the talk with her and as she had additional questions over time, they, we were very open and honest with her in our explanations. We found out that she also walked in on her dad and his girlfriend several times also. I know some will say bedroom only behind locked and closed doors. Mom And dad and myself as I got more comfortable expressed our sexuality openness and love of sex. So that she would understand that as adults' sex is something adults do and to be enjoyed and very pleasurable. That it shouldn't be looked upon as something dirty and strictly for procreation, but to be totally embraced and enjoy its pleasures. I did keep in touch with mom for several years after we split. Yes, we did have a few rolls in the hay for old time's sake, uninterrupted and it was heavenly as it was even interrupted. She did put her daughter on birth control at 15 figuring she would be become sexually active like she did as she was getting into being a nudist. She also taught her the finer points of female masturbation and who better than mom to learn from. I spoke with her when she was 18 and she said she had just given up her virginity. Also reflecting back on those interruptions of we adults having sex and the open and honest explanations after the interruptions, she said those experiences gave her a healthy embrace and respect for the sexual pleasures as she was entering the early phase of adult hood. In our instance here, I think it safe to say those mortifiable and later nuisance interruptions of our adult sexual pleasure were true teaching moments looking back in hindsight. Oh, and she was still embracing nudism and any boyfriend she would have, or future spouse also had to enjoy nudism.

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RE:parent talk: have you ever been caught by your kids?

Late 1970's the woman I was dating at the time had a 9-year-old daughter whom she was raising as a nudist like a good nudist parent does. The ex-husband / father was also a nudist, so the daughter was used to seeing a naked man, so it was not a big deal seeing me naked around the house with and without an erection as she knew from her dad about the man's anatomy. We dated and unofficially lived together for 2 years and had a very healthy sex life. She walked in on one or both of us several times over the 2 years. Her bedroom was on 2nd floor, moms was on the 1st floor, tv family room was in basement. She only caught us a couple times in the bedroom with mom riding on top. It was usually down in the tv family room and after she had supposedly gone to bed and was asleep when she would walk in on us. She caught me one Saturday afternoon masturbating while mom was at the store, she was supposed to be next door playing but came home early. She caught her mom masturbating several times. Having oral sex. The first time she walked in on us I was mortified, but mom said not a big deal as she had walked in on her and her ex-husband a few times also from about age 7 and that they had the talk with her and as she had additional questions over time, they, we were very open and honest with her in our explanations. We found out that she also walked in on her dad and his girlfriend several times also. I know some will say bedroom only behind locked and closed doors. Mom And dad and myself as I got more comfortable expressed our sexuality openness and love of sex. So that she would understand that as adults' sex is something adults do and to be enjoyed and very pleasurable. That it shouldn't be looked upon as something dirty and strictly for procreation, but to be totally embraced and enjoy its pleasures. I did keep in touch with mom for several years after we split. Yes, we did have a few rolls in the hay for old time's sake, uninterrupted and it was heavenly as it was even interrupted. She did put her daughter on birth control at 15 figuring she would be become sexually active like she did as she was getting into being a nudist. She also taught her the finer points of female masturbation and who better than mom to learn from. I spoke with her when she was 18 and she said she had just given up her virginity. Also reflecting back on those interruptions of we adults having sex and the open and honest explanations after the interruptions, she said those experiences gave her a healthy embrace and respect for the sexual pleasures as she was entering the early phase of adult hood. In our instance here, I think it safe to say those mortifiable and later nuisance interruptions of our adult sexual pleasure were true teaching moments looking back in hindsight. Oh, and she was still embracing nudism and any boyfriend she would have, or future spouse also had to enjoy nudism.

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RE:parent talk: have you ever been caught by your kids?

Not in the act but came close.
Our son was away at college and not expected home for the weekend.
My wife and I were cuddling by the fire.
I don't remember what I was wearing when we started but I know it was some old clothing I didn't care about.
As we removed my clothing, I threw each piece into the fire.
My wife was still at least partially dressed and had the rest of her clothing within reach
Just after I tossed the last of it in the fire, the front door opens and my son walks in.
My wife quickly grabbed something for cover.
I had nothing to cover with so I just said something about not expecting him to be home that weekend.
None of us mentioned the incident again.

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RE: parent talk: have you ever been caught by your kids?

We have raised our kids that nudity is not rude or crude, but is natural, and we have gone nude in front of of kids since they were babies. As for getting caught "in a little adult activity" we try to not make it am issue and will talk to them later about what they saw and if they have any question

Yeah I totally agree with what you said. Should talk openly , so we can avoid Many misunderstanding and troubles later on.

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RE:parent talk: have you ever been caught by your kids?

Oh yes they did. After we asked him to leave, we sat down and explained to him what was going on.

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