I was training in BJJ (Brazilian Ju Jitsu, a form of wrestling) on Saturday. I've been training Brazilian for about five years, I'm not a big expert, but I can hold my own. We do mostly no gi (don't wear the big white blouses), it's geared towards self defense rather than competition, so I was wearing leggings and a tank top but no underwear...

...Just kidding, don't expect nudity in this topic, there is so much body touching in BJJ that it would be unfair to wrestle a guy while going commando, I would take them in 5 sec. top. I had a bra, not a big sports one as there is no jumping around in BJJ but still... If you hope to hear about sportwear malfunction let me know, I do have a couple of stories, but that's for another topic.

We were supposed to roll (spar) at 75% of force and let partners do their techniques against good resistance, not submit to win at any cost. But somehow, each time I roll at 50% or more against a guy we end up at 100%. Why are guys so reluctant to grant a submission to a girl? Or is it me who is too competitive? But I have no problem against girls, I am the biggest, heaviest and most skilled among them, and I like it when they submit me (sometimes with my help), then I pass a technique and submit them, then they submit me again... But guys somehow don't like to be submitted by girls when rolling. Like never. And when I do tap them out, they go "yeah, but I was under 25%, I was helping you a bit...).

So I rolled with this guy whom, I confess, I don't like much. He's a big guy, taller than me (maybe 1m85), younger, at least 35 kg heavier (ok, maybe 33, I have a couple of extra kg, so what?) and very muscular. The kind who believes that, because he shaves his head and has lots of tattoos everybody is afraid of him. He is relatively new but so full of himself, I had trained with him before in various techniques, but never really rolled with him (except at 25%, alternating techniques, which is not real rolling). I don't like him because he has a tendency to smirk and make iffy jokes each time he trains with a girl. It's true that most girls are beginners and that there is a lot of body contact when rolling and we will often touch each other's chest and legs, but nobody wrestles for this. I hope.

So sure enough, he's far stronger and all, I don't even try hard, he puts me on my back and he's in my guard (between my legs). I'm quite good from the guard. He smirks and says "God, I love this sport!". I say "Shut up and defend yourself!". He laughs and leans over me trying to sneak an arm behind my neck for - I guess - a naked Ezekiel (unless it was for a kiss and big full body hug). I push, shrimp, and sure enough I pass one leg over his arm then kick his back, grab my shin while he starts posturing up and close my triangle with ease. He had a huge back and shoulder, but I have decently long legs and he didn't know much about defending against a triangle choke.

I announce "Triangle. Locked". He smirks again, looks at my legs wrapped around his neck and says "Love it. We should do this more often, outside the dojo too". So I start squeezing and say "Tap!". He doesn't tap but tries to open my legs (no, you can't do that, silly!) then he tries to get up, take me off the floor to slam me down and... He goes to sleep, falling like an inert blob of fat over me.

I open my legs and quickly roll over from under him, knowing that I'm in trouble but D, who is our instructor, had already seen me. He always sees when I do something wrong but never when the other guy does the same... So he comes yelling at me, this is 75%, we don't put colleagues to sleep and all, and all, blabla, blabla, dangerous, blabla, respect of instructions, blabla, I set the rules here, blabla, lots of noise, the usual stuff... D, if you are reading this, I'm just trying to make this topic short, of course I respect your instructions and all, no time out for me, OK? The guy starts to wake up and goes "she didn't put me to sleep, I had her" etc.

Now I admit it, this is not the first time I put a guy to sleep in training and some guys also complain that I push locks too far. But I do believe that I always start nice and they just don't want to tap. If I pass a nice technique Just. Freaking. Tap. What's wrong with you? Why is it so hard to tap against a girl and so easy to complain that she goes too hard.

I once put to sleep a nasty guy who had tried to Americana me from my guard so I was able to take his back and lock the perfect rear naked choke (no, we were not naked, just the name of the technique...). He got so angry instead of simply tapping he pinched my thigh as hard as he could, tried to poke me in the eyes and grabbed me by the hair. The latter is particularly effective but luckily he didn't start with it so I held it tight and put him to sleep. In that situation I however had proof, he woke up with lots of my hair in his hand and my thigh was already starting to turn blue so D kicked him out of the club.

So I don't know. D is still a bit angry with me, he put me officially on notice, said that one more incident and he will give me time out from training but hey. The guy was cocky and didn't tap, OK? True, I went 100% and put him to sleep but what was I supposed to do? Say sure Champ, I wrapped my legs around your neck for your entertainment and sexual gratification, you win? While I had my choke locked?

Am I such a bad gal? Do I deserve time out?

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