Very good article. As a Greek American male, I grew up with the expectation of hugging and kissing my male relatives. When my father and brothers arrived home from work, I (as the youngest) greeted them with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. If we didn't do that, it was a sign of disrespect. My Greek and Italian classmates during my undergraduate years felt the same way. We always greeted each other with a hug and kiss. The girls made the rounds kissing the boys on the cheek as they arrived at the cafeteria table. My male friends and I greeted each other with a hug. I do remember the other kids looking at us as if we were strange. As a professional adult, I greeted my male Greek American friends with a hug. We always did this and never thought it was abnormal. However, I did reserve a handshake greeting for my non Mediterranean friends. The "Chads," "Brads," and "Curts" all received a handshake. I can see non touch (e.g., generic handshake greeting) being a more American way of social behavior among Northern European males. Now that I am more active in social nudist settings, I do see men, regardless of ethnicity or race, hugging their male friends. Nudist males who meet for the first time (including myself), typically greet another nudist male with a handshake. However, I do see male nudists hugging or bro patting each other if they crossed over to the friend level. I believe hugging another man can be quite natural and masculine. I don't expect a man to make a sexual move on me if he decides to hug me. I think having that expectation that one would do that makes me think he has another motive.
Thank you for the article, how wonderful. I come from a family of huggers and still to this day hug my 74 year old father and tell him I love him when I see him. My brothers are more standoffish and accept a handshake over anything else, but they have a different dad and I think that plays a big role in to their acceptance of physical touch.
A really excellent article. And one that raises major issues where masculinity is arguably in crisis.
When I say masculinity is in crisis, what I really mean is that being male is under attack in western societies.
Outrageous statement? Yes! But true!
Ive simple attitudes to issues surrounding gender and other human variations ( I dont want to call them differences ) such as race, sexuality etc- I believe were all equal and should be cherished and respected as such.
But equality isnt necessarily tethered to ridiculous notions of sameness or uniformity and conformity. In recent decades people who are not white, women, LGBTQ people etc have had some ( often limited or societally disingenuous ) advances in relation to equality. Theres lots more progress needed on those fronts. But the one group that is never mentioned as being disadvantaged in any way is men! ( Yet we die younger etc! ) In fact you probably didnt even notice the omission of men in the list of groupings above! And because men are almost never mentioned as being unfairly treated in discourse about rights and freedoms theyre usually cast as the aggressors - the universal baddies in the dramatis personae of our unjust societies. And yes, men are and have been guilty, especially in previous times. But now were constantly under attack and yet thereslittle said or written to redress this.
How many people reading this have seen words such as misandry or misandrist or misandristic used in the media? Yes - the man-hating equivalent of mysogony is a little-known word!
Ive spent my whole life surrounded by strong women I adore but Im fed up with daft notions that masculinity is intrinsically brutal, predatory, or untrustworthy.
We need to recalibrate our attitudes and become more assertive of the wonders and beauty of masculinity. Then the coming generations of men will grow up treating everyone equally without diminishing themselves as young males - vibrant, potent, proud and unapologetic! And then expressions of masculine emotionality including tenderness platonic ( and non-platonic ) touch will be free to flow more easily and naturally and well all benefit.
Make no mistake, these issues are as prevalent for naturists as for anyone else. When did you last see a post on here about the etiquette for what a woman should do if her nipples become firm? Never?? Yet the site is littered with posts about a relatively rare occurrence - what to do if you get an erection in a naturist setting. ( Btw - in my experience its never been a problem unless the man attached to it is a problem! Lol ) Whats bad about a physical manifestation of healthy, potent masculinity?
( And just in case any presumptions are made or mistaken conclusions reached , Im no mysogynist - demonstrably the opposite in fact! )