Barriers to Bromance and Connection
Return to DiscussionsI am really excited to find this group and to connect with other guys open to deeper friendships and connections. I have wanted something like this for a while, but wasn't sure where to start. While I am still starting this exploration, I have found there to be many barriers to these kinds of relationships and was curious if others have had the same experience. These barriers include:
1) Offending a buddy - talking about anything deeper or more emotional, anything outside of "safe topics," runs the risk of offending a buddy who is a good friend but not intetested in that level of connection. This is my biggest barrier.
2) Lack of emotional tools - even if a buddy wants to go deeper with a friemdship, many ot us lack the tools to go there because men (in many societies) are taught to be stoic and unconnected.
3) Fear of Judgement - even if the interest and tools are there, a bromance runs the risk of being judged in multiple ways, which may be a barrier to something deeper.
4) Lack of rolemodels - bromances can look so many different ways (I imagine), but I am aware of so few examples of this in popular culture. This may be limiting in some way.
Do these barriers to a solid bromance resonate? Are there others you have encountered?
Do they resonate with me? Yes all 4 things do But is it going to always stop me from trying to turn those things upside down NO! I am one about staying with a positive mindset and message. Trying not let those things get in the way of changing you and the world/ people around you. Fear is a big thing but there is a time when we need not think about it but think how it is controlling us and how we need to put a stop to it and be in more control. For example. I work for a delivery company but I had the day off. I was getting something delivered so a coworker would be delivering it. Im a nudist they dont know but they will soon know Im not kidding that Im a nudist. I get a knock I go answer it fully barefoot naked. I look at the spy hole and see it is my ex- army coworker. He must have seen many nude male. So I go open the door wide open and stay hello. I do it while being completely comfortable. Coworker takes a step back and says with one hand over his eyes will giving me a quick look over I dont need to see all that. Im like it is okay man. Let me go ahead and sign for this. I do sign for it we say a couple nice things back and forth. He leaves and I shut the door. It happens again a few days later. Same coworker but he is more relaxed the second time. I didnt have any more packages coming to my place and I was home being on vacation for one week. I only talked to this coworker a few times in like 2 years. After seeing me naked a couple of times he begins to call me talk to me, as questions, he was drunk a couple of times and call me around midnight wanting to talk to me. He had invited me to his home and I have been there about 3 times now. Meet his wife and kids. We workout together once at the gym seem to be much closer since he saw me naked. He could have been real negative and said a lot of negative things around work but he had done the opposite because I pushed fear and normal textile thinking out the window. Become the good nude role model. You just might make a new friend and have others being more friendly to you. Good luck and God Bless.