Time to Vent...
I have been a member of Truenudist for over 14 years now and for the most part, anything has exceptions has been a very rewarding experience, and have met some amazing people. However, civility is weaning big time lately. As a moderator for 3 groups, all of which require authorization to join clearly state a completed profile is required to join the group. Pictures are not required but information is as they are all social groups. You know the tell us about you questions on a profile. If I get a request and the profile is not completed I always send a cut and paste of the groups requirement that are on the front page of the group. Such as:
EMPTY OR PRIVATE PROFILES WILL NOT BE APPROVED. At the request of the members, we will now no longer approve empty profiles. Pictures are not required but information about the member is. Thanks! LGBT Nudists. - Your profile is not complete, once you do so please request to join the group again and we will welcome you. Scott, Moderator
A polite response as to why they have been denied to join the group. Approving members is very time-consuming! I check at least once a day sometimes more often to see if a pending member is waiting for approval. This keeps the group clean of fake profiles, solicitation, and unwelcomed content...it is a group for all to enjoy not a sewer of unwelcomed nonsense. Lately, I have been getting super nasty emails back when I decline a person be it on LGBT Group, Lake Powell Group, or Certified and Paid Members Group. I recently declined a request to join, he has a very nice profile picture so I "liked" it and sent him the stock email "your profile is empty".
Here is a response I got today...
In what way is my profile incomplete????? Please feel free to unlike my photo. I don't need the support of righteous gay men and women who demand I out myself to the world. I am out to those who need to know.
Now I will be honest this pissed me off. So I responded:
ABOUT SOLID123 ANONYMOUS - 67 GenderMan OrientationN/A Height0' 0" Weight0 HometownN/A EducationN/A ReligionN/A Income LevelN/A
You have not completed your profile at all. This is a social group so we want to learn about one another which is clearly stated on the group home page. I will say... " I don't need the support of righteous gay men and women who demand I out myself to the world. I am out to those who need to know." Your email is snide, condescending, and rude. None of the attributes I want in our group moreover would never want to socialize with either. My offer to join the group is withdrawn. I volunteer my time to keep the group clean and fun to receive this email from you is not polite it actually is infuriating. I hope you find happiness because considering this is our first correspondence and my email was courteous I could have just declined your request but took the time to tell you why...I get this nasty email adds up to a negative angry person! Scott
Tell me group am I missing something here??? I am so ready to throw in the towel. I have approved over 1500 people for this group and in the last 6 months I get a nasty email like this about once a week now! Share with me what you think!
Wow! What a nice person you are! Your profile is private yet you don't allow private profiles to join your group. I responded to you via message not on a public forum. Your private profile inviting LGBT members is shared by woman. My profile is not private and is certified, my profile and photos are available to all members to view and anyone is welcome to interact with me. I did NOT mention your group specifically in my post yet you choose to name me publicly. You are inconsistent,arrogant and a hypocrite. You bring shame on the LGBT community which is about acceptance and inclusivity.
Hey SunSeeker!
I think you were being more than fair to specifically and courteously reply with the requirements for membership to the group. Solid 123 couldve courteously said my bad and complete his profile as every nudist member should on here and try again later. Instead, he is coming at you with lots of anger and hate which I dont understand. And he still is bringing it in his reply above. This is not about acceptance, but about following the rules that have been put in place for years on this site. Its a privilege to be a part of this membership and without rules the integrity of the site will fall apart. Thanks for all you do as a moderator and please dont be discouraged by those that dont know how to communicate with love and kindness.
I don't believe what you're experiencing is limited to True Nudists.
I moderate groups on MeWe and also have a questionnaire to gain access. One of the questions is to have them acknowledge that they have a completed profile. If a user answers "yes" to the question and doesn't actually have a completed profile I simply decline the request. If they've read the questionnaire and essentially LIED thinking they'd still be granted access then it's not worth my time to "kindly" explain to them why or ask that they do something they were asked to do up front.
Just as important, I've yet to have a user reapply, even with a completed profile, or inquire as to why they weren't allowed access to the group.
Likewise I see users on Reddit and Discord who post things that are in clear violation of the groups' rules. I think they just don't care or think they're entitled to (ab)use the entire internet as THEY please without regard to others (particularly moderators).
I believe one of the basic problems is that nudist forums are under almost constant "attack" by voyeurs, exhibitionists and narcissists (OH MY!!) who only see forum titles that suggest they'll see naked pictures and that's their only goal for gaining access. So, OF COURSE they're not going to abide by, much less READ, the rules. With so many (so-called) nudist forums, too many of which the moderators don't enforce their own rules, they'll just move on to the next group and try to gain access.
I believe one of the basic problems is that nudist forums are under almost constant "attack" by voyeurs, exhibitionists and narcissists (OH MY!!) who only see forum titles that suggest they'll see naked pictures and that's their only goal for gaining access. So, OF COURSE they're not going to abide by, much less READ, the rules. With so many (so-called) nudist forums, too many of which the moderators don't enforce their own rules, they'll just move on to the next group and try to gain access.
All good stuff...but when I get attacked that changes the level to me. If they just left it alone or complied all is good but to attack me is where I have seen a major uptick in. I am actually getting hate emails from people I decline...that is new.
All good stuff...but when I get attacked that changes the level to me. If they just left it alone or complied all is good but to attack me is where I have seen a major uptick in. I am actually getting hate emails from people I decline...that is new.
I guess the basic point then is why bother making the effort? Similar to my example of the MeWe groups I moderate, there are requirements in the questionnaire to gain access. If a user is going to read them and not comply with them then it's not worth your time to be "kind" to them if they're going to be "rude" to you. In your original post I don't believe you mentioned if any ever respond with similar kindness or resubmit their application with an updated profile.
All good stuff...but when I get attacked that changes the level to me. If they just left it alone or complied all is good but to attack me is where I have seen a major uptick in. I am actually getting hate emails from people I decline...that is new.I guess the basic point then is why bother making the effort? Similar to my example of the MeWe groups I moderate, there are requirements in the questionnaire to gain access. If a user is going to read them and not comply with them then it's not worth your time to be "kind" to them if they're going to be "rude" to you. In your original post I don't believe you mentioned if any ever respond with similar kindness or resubmit their application with an updated profile.
Excellent question - of the 100+ of declines I have done I remember only 3 that completed the profile in order to join. Generally, they just move to another group that does not have moderators.
You're much nicer than I am. I run one group. I made it private to weed out the fakes and spammers. I do require a visible photo of themselves and filled out profile. It clearly states this in the About section and the top of the Discussion page. If the profile doesn't follow the rules, I simply deny them, no message sent.
What some on here (and other sites) don't seem to get is that Groups are owned by those who create them. They can have whatever rules the owner wants. If you don't like it, don't join. There are a lot of groups here that require full body nudes, opened to the public, something I don't do. I simply don't join them and move on.
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