RE:Quote of the day

I went for a run but came back home after 2 minutes because I forgot something. I forgot that I'm fat and can't run for more than 2 minutes.

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RE:Quote of the day

Mr. Jones the inventor of the wind chill factor recently died..he was 82...but felt like he was 64.

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RE:Quote of the day

Things l have in common with a raccoon..dark circles around the eyes..eat junk..cute..a little chubby..l will fight you and possibly rabid.

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I can understand the anger at me...but what could you possibly have against the horse l rode in on?

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My wife woke up with a big smile on her face this morning....now l can't have Sharpies in the house anymore.

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RE:Quote of the day

There's no need to drive me crazy, l'm close enough to walk.

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Don't bother walking a mile in my shoes.. spend 30 seconds in my head, that'll freak you right out.

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I went for a nice run yesterday...I didn't plan on it, but the ice cream truck didn't stop.

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RE:Quote of the day

I've decided on my new career. I'm going to be a backward stripper. I come on stage naked and people pay me to put my clothes back on.

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RE:Quote of the day

There is a play Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike in which Spike appears on stage in underwear and puts the rest of his clothes on with the types of body motions strippers use when taking them off.

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