Why are people offended by gawking on a clothing optional beach?
I just went to the nude beach in NJ (Gunnison Beach) for the first time
and walked around
in the buff. As expected, I saw a lot of fat, old naked people and
plenty of gay men but there were also quite a few naked, voluptuous
women. I felt kinda self-conscious being it was my first
experience being nude in a public setting.
In any case, I have a couple of questions. A couple of times I rubber
necked as I passed some hot women and I think I overheard one woman tell
her husband "That guy is staring at me". This other chick with the
nicest head lights I've ever seen was sitting nude on the beach reading a
book and I rubber necked as I walked by her from 30 feet away. Her bf
gave me a nasty look like he was ready to kick my ass or something.
WTF?
Do you guys think gawking is rude on a nude beach? I mean come on,
nobody is forcing anybody to go there and walk around in the buff. The
individual makes a voluntary decision to go there and be nude. Is it
rude to admire a beautiful woman on the beach when she is wearing a
bikini? If you answered no, I would argue it it not rude to admire a
woman at a nude or clothing optional beach. What people call gawking, I
refer to as admiring. Besides, undoubtedly some woman that know they
are attractive like the attention they get from men who leer at them
(even if they pretend they don't).
I went on the internet and did research on nude beach etiquette and was
surprised to find out that it is rude to 'gawk'. Does being on a nude
beach mean I cannot stare at a gorgeous woman? I try and be discreet
when I walk around by wearing sunglasses. Is it really perverted for a
man to check out a beautiful woman? Any woman that goes to a nude beach
should EXPECT for a man to at least cast them a parting glance if they
are even remotely attractive. If they don't want to be looked at,
perhaps they shouldn't be there!
Of course, I am a newbie to all of this and am open to all your
resepective points of view. I appreciate hearing all sides of the
issue.
Rick
I just went to the nude beach in NJ (Gunnison Beach) for the first time and walked around in the buff. As expected, I saw a lot of fat, old naked people and plenty of gay men but there were also quite a few naked, voluptuous women. I felt kinda self-conscious being it was my first experience being nude in a public setting. In any case, I have a couple of questions. A couple of times I rubber necked as I passed some hot women and I think I overheard one woman tell her husband "That guy is staring at me". This other chick with the nicest head lights I've ever seen was sitting nude on the beach reading a book and I rubber necked as I walked by her from 30 feet away. Her bf gave me a nasty look like he was ready to kick my ass or something. WTF? Do you guys think gawking is rude on a nude beach? I mean come on, nobody is forcing anybody to go there and walk around in the buff. The individual makes a voluntary decision to go there and be nude. Is it rude to admire a beautiful woman on the beach when she is wearing a bikini? If you answered no, I would argue it it not rude to admire a woman at a nude or clothing optional beach. What people call gawking, Irefer to as admiring. Besides, undoubtedly some woman that know they are attractive like the attention they get from men who leer at them (even if they pretend they don't). I went on the internet and did research on nude beach etiquette and was surprised to find out that it is rude to 'gawk'. Does being on a nude beach mean I cannot stare at a gorgeous woman? I try and be discreet when I walk around by wearing sunglasses. Is it really perverted for a man to check out a beautiful woman? Any woman that goes to a nude beach should EXPECT for a man to at least cast them a parting glance if they are even remotely attractive. If they don't want to be looked at, perhaps they shouldn't be there! Of course, I am a newbie to all of this and am open to all your resepective points of view. I appreciate hearing all sides of the issue.Rick
I think the words you have used (stare and gawk) speak volumes in answering your own question. Staring is NEVER appropriate in ANY situation: textile or clothed; beach, park, or on the street. When you stare at someone you objectify them and take away what makes them human.
Here is a real test of how you should answer if it is truly appropriate to you:
How would you feel if women walked by you, looking at you, and just staring? How would you feel if men walked by you, looking at you, and just staring?
Judging by your comments above, I think I already know how you will answer, but I will give you the benefit of the doubt. You should answer truthfully.
Flip the coin, Rick.
If you had been at a textile beach and the woman turned to her husband and complained that "you were staring at her" would it have surprised you? If you were at a textile beach and "rubber necked" the "chick" with the "nicest set of headlights" would you have wondered why her "bf gave you a nasty look like he was ready to kick your ass"?
It really is no different at a clothing optional/nude beach or a clothing optional/nudist venue. Most nudists (not all) aren't there to be "stared" at or "gawked" at whether or not it is intended to be flattering. While I think that most people appreciate being admired, there is a difference between admiration and "staring" or "gawking" at someone like they're an animal on exhibit at the zoo (I hate zoos).
We're simply there because that's where we can legally go to enjoy a day at the beach without having to deal with an uncomfortable, binding, clammy-when-wet bathing suit. And since it is clothing optional/nude we expect to be around like-minded people who aren't drooling just because they see another naked body. And if we are made to feel that we are "on display" it kinda ruins that relaxing feeling.
Hope this helps answer your question.
Yours truly,
a fat, old, naked person - Jen
I admire the human form, male or female,clothed or nude, but I try and do it discreetly. Peripheral vision and dark sunglasses. I'm sure we've all stared at people though, like when you see someone who you're attracted to, you look a little longer than you should but don't realize it.
But gawking-staring? Not cool, no matter who, what or where.
The social ettiquette of a CO beach is the same as a textile beach hun. You need to get your head around the fact that the only difference is an absence of a few scraps of cloth. Same with clubs and bars. Nudists are not some alien species - just humans that are nekkid. If you stare at someone for long enough they may very well take issue with you - clothed or unclothed.
Love n stuff
Rudie x
P.S The old may be fat - but the young are often socially inept. It's a trade off.
My post seems to have gotten lost in cyberspace so here it comes again. Sorry if it is found and ends up as a double post.
Hi Rick,
There is aworldof differencebetweenlooking and gawking/staring. There is nothing wrong with looking, I'm sure we all do from time to timeespeciallywhen new to the nudist philosophy and most people are not offended. However,staringat or gawking at a woman can make her feel vulnerable. Rubbernecking is definitely not cool. Also you mention wearing sunglasses in an attempt to be discrete. Now there is nothing wrong with wearing sunglasses but especially if they are of the mirrored type it can make some people feel uncomfortable. The majority of people are there for a number of reasons chief of which is personal comfort, not for the purpose of voyeurism orexhibitionism. You said it was your first trip so as you get used to seeing nudity your fascination will probably wane and you will find it easier to relate to others there. Don't discount the old fat guys and women or the (yoususpect) gays. Some of these people are veryfriendlyandhelpful to newbies in a non-sexual and non-threatening manner.
I wish you good luck as your continue your foray into social nudism.
Hey guys, thanks for all the responses thus far. I was expecting a lot of hate but was pleasantly surprised by the sincerity and helpfulness exhibited by the posters.
With that being said, aren't there at least some women who go to nude beaches with the concealed intent of being admired? Sort of like some women get all dressed up and then go out to a club to supposedly dance, but then complain when guys hit on them? I mean if these women really wanted to dance, they could have stayed home and danced to the music on the radio without having to do their hair, nails, outfits, etc.
P.S. - Feel free to read and reply to my first post on the newbie forum regarding approaching these beauties.
Rick
Again, you must always look at the other side of the coin. My questions still stand. Would you feel comfortable being oggled by both men and women? If you answer "no" to either or both, then you should re-evaluate your train of thought. If you say "yes" to both, then odds are you are more of an exhibitionist than a nudist.
Sort of like some women get all dressed up and then go out to a club to supposedly dance, but then complain when guys hit on them?
First of all... just because a woman gets all dressed up to go to the club, doesn't mean she wants to dance with YOU, woman or men for that matter are not like trinkets in the store you go check out and pick up... Just because people go to the nude beach, doesn't mean they want to be looked at or checked out either. It makes it difficult to understand till you wear the other persons shoes (not try to stick your shoes on their feet) Everyone goes for different reasons, but what it all boils down to is 1. Freedom 2.Comfortin your own skin 3.Sheddingsociety4. Getting in tune with nature or 5. Just to unwind and relax When someone "gawks" or "stares" it kind of takes away from ALL of those reasons that they came there for... not only that.... it makes you look like a pervert, or some sort of stalker. And of course my last thought, as far as Fat and Old people go... they are no different than the young skinny people for the most part, what makes us who we are is located between the ears, and in that aspect we all weigh about the same, and if you are judging people by their weight and age, then I think you missed the boat completely on the whole nudist idea... because that is no different than judging someone by the clothes they wear, the car they drive, or the house they live in... ALL WE ARE exists within the gray matter in our heads... nothing else really matters.
Women weather clothed or nude, when you speak to them. Look them in the eye, you do not talk to their breast. Its ok to look at a naked woman or man on the beach, but there is a time limit when it goes from looking to gawking
Hey, Jen! I've seen photos of you both clothed and nude (RabbitnBunny's website). You are NOT fat. You maybe "older" but you are NOT old. The only description you gave of yourself I can agree with is naked. Sorry.
LOL
John
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