Best Farting Jokes
I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music.
After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me....
Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.
{Did you ever wonder why all Yoga Studios smell the way they do?}
Want to know?
While lying on your back slowly bring both of your knees slowly to your chest. oops
Repeat. oops.
30 or 40 people doing the same thing day in and day out.
Breathe deep y'all
The First Joke Ever Recorded (1900 BC)
Who says girls dont fart? According to University of Wolverhampton professor Paul McDonald, this ancient Sumerian one-liner is the oldest known joke in recorded history: Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husbands lap.
A broke dirty Cowboy walks into a bar and says, "Gimme whiskey." The bartender
says, "I'll have to see your money first." "I'm broke, but if you give me
a bottle of whiskey, I'll get up on that stage and fart Dixie!" The bartender
had never seen someone fart any kind of song, so he agrees.
The Cowboy drinks the whole bottle of whiskey, then staggers up on stage
and the audience start applauding. Then he drops his pants and the audience
start cheering even louder. Then, he proceeds to shit all over the stage, and
everyone gets disgusted and leave.
The bartender screams, "You said you were gonna fart Dixie! Not shit all over my
stage!" And the Cowboy replies, "Hey! Even Frank Sinatra had to clear his throat before
he sang!"
A man walks into a bar real thirsty like.
He says, "Barkeep, gimme a beer"
"Two Bucks" is the reply.
"I'm broke"
"too bad"
"Look, if I can fart the eyes of texas, will you gimme a beer?"
"If you can do that, I will buy you dinner too."
Man get up on the bar top, drop his pants and proceeds to crap all over the place.
"What the hell are you doin!?"
"Clearing my throat"
eeewwwwwww.......
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