Married/divorced Men Hanging On Sky
This group is for married/divorced guys who want to chat and at the same time show what they have with others who are in the same boat.
- created by dblev954
Barriers to a Bromance and Deeper Connection
Return to DiscussionsI am really excited to find this group and to connect with other guys open to deeper friendships and connections. I have wanted something like this for a while, but wasn't sure where to start. While I am still starting this exploration, I have found there to be many barriers to these kinds of relationships and was curious if others have had the same experience. These barriers include:
1) Offending a buddy - talking about anything deeper or more emotional, anything outside of "safe topics," runs the risk of offending a buddy who is a good friend but not intetested in that level of connection. This is my biggest barrier.
2) Lack of emotional tools - even if a buddy wants to go deeper with a friemdship, many ot us lack the tools to go there because men (in many societies) are taught to be stoic and unconnected.
3) Fear of Judgement - even if the interest and tools are there, a bromance runs the risk of being judged in multiple ways, which may be a barrier to something deeper.
4) Lack of rolemodels - bromances can look so many different ways (I imagine), but I am aware of so few examples of this in popular culture. This may be limiting in some way.
Do these barriers to a solid bromance resonate? Are there others you have encountered?
All of those barriers resonate.
Male bonding in the U.S. is often limited to sports, work or other hobbies. That's where the bonding stops. Deeper conversations are frowned upon. It requires the men to be vulnerable. Vulnerable men are tagged as "weak."
So, instead of fighting against that sterotype, men just avoid the deeper moments and move on.
Society has created this double standard. They want strong men, but not aggressive men. Those traits often go hand-in-hand.
The battle isn't a Man vs. Man battle, it's Man vs. Society.
Define "Deeper Connection". Biggest problem i run into is guys who want to play--I don't for a lot of reasons. One of those reasons is that jumping into physical intimacy with another person of any sex seems to create relationships built on physical rather than emotional intimacy. Anyone can find JO partners (here, at least, it seems); I'm looking for brothers.