Middle-aged men and young women
50 is the new 40 and most men in their mid-50s are affected (afflicted?) by the famous mid-life crisis. The understanding that youth is behind and nothing good ahead, all those young, fresh, crisp chicks to whom you no longer have access? Rings some bells? I am convinced that it is difficult for men, I sympathize and I also know that you don't like to talk about it, you pretend being above this crisis, that everything is just fine... Sure champ, whatever you say. Which is not to say that women don't have their mid-life crises (which actually start in our late 20s) but this is another subject all together.
Middle aged men. Their attitude towards young girls changes. I'm speaking here about very young girls, but not about paedophilia - say 16 to 25 y.o. I'm no longer concerned by that age but I do have memories and I do see how men's attitude changes when seeing these girls. Plus, from far and with no glasses on I may sometimes be mistaken for somebody younger than I am. Sure I'm old and fat and ugly and all but my gait is still that of a former dancer's so mistakes are still possible. At least I think so (hope so?).
I see three categories here and I am not sure if men evolve, switch from one to the other or they stay in a single category and for how long.
The first category is the timids. Many men lose their capacities when they find themselves by chance close to a fresh young pretty girl. They can't even look her in the eyes, they become monosyllabic, they don't know what to do with their hands... Some even sweat and you can see that they are tormented by desire, that being so close to that young, beautiful, milk-smelling skin without being able to touch it almost breaks their heart - and composure. The teen cashier at the supermarket who smiles at you with her plump lips and deer eyes? Those three highschool students with short skirts who laugh sillily (is that a word?) in the bus? The girl doing her jogging in yoga pants? These guys pretend that they don't notice them but you can see on their face that the effort to pretend is so intense it actually hurts.
The second type is the dandies. They are daring and seducing. Well sort of. They think they "still have it". Maybe they were in the first category sometime ago but they happened to have some success with one or several younger girls - most likely "woking girls" or sugar babies - and this gave them a big confidence boost. For them, if you are young and blond it means that you are available period. The kind who believe that they somehow made it and deserve some fresh meat? The kind who put the keys to their BMW on the table in a bar? I wrote another topic with my experience of being picked up. These guys are the majority of those who make a move on me.
The third is the haters. Maybe they were in the second category and their sugar baby dumped them. Maybe they have had some small but finally natural failures in bed. Maybe they are simply sad seeing their life, let alone their youth, passing by. Not judging here, we will likely all be there. Maybe while they ostetatively play with the key to their big-ass BMW they see me get into my Porsche. And of course if I am tall, young (well, relatively), blond and I drive a Porsche I must be a bimbo who was lucky enouh to be the toy of some rich Russian or Arab and my head must be emptier than their scrotum. (Side note: yes, I loooove to drive and I do have a Porsche but don't you dare lecture me, this is my only excess and I don't have kids so my environmental footprint is far smaller than yours, OK?). The kind who make mean, demeaning, dirty remarks about young, sexy girls they see (Gerard Depardieu's comments come to mind).
Now I don't necessarily say that absolutely all of you are in one of these three categories. Some of you happen to have a civilising factor (also know as a woman) to keep you from straying too much. What I say is that a vast majority of Middle-aged men have a tendency to stray towards one or the other category (or sometimes all, depending on the situation, the girl and especially the percentage of alcohol they have in their blood). I know that my man has a tendency, depending on the circumstance, to go towards one of the first two categories. Never seen him in the third but who knows, someday... Luckily he has me who understands the issue and doesn't get angry but just tries to help him get past this. And yes, dressing sexily and even posting on this site is part of my loving therapy for him if you absolutely need to know. Now of course he claims that he is not ill but we ladies know that they all are, don't we. And we try to keep them from straying by making them lots of compliments and giving them lots of love and attention (yes, including sexual, excuse my French but show me a married woman hater and I'll show you a married woman who doesn't suck her hubby's cock often enough...).
Now let's make a sincerity test. What category are you guys in more often?
Well I dont think I fit any of these categories. There may be a fourth - and that might be those of us who are still somewhat comfortable as they age and dont feel the need to be out on the prowl. On a few rare occasions, younger women (not working girls) have actually flirted with me - usually at a bar and even initiated some rather vigorous kissing. As I said - these were rare occasions. Few and far between - but quite welcome and memorable. One in particular stands out. I had introduced myself to a young lass - we both were friends with the bartender in a fun local place. Conversation ensued - mostly about books and history in particular - not an academic stuffy talk - quite lively. So much so that next thing I know, and much to my surprise, the fetching young lass is kissing me wildly - her tongue very aggressively at work. Of course there was some nice whisky involved in the lead up to this event - but Id like to think - it was also a moment of great chemistry and timing on a lovely day. Of course, never to happen again - numbers were exchanged - but we never saw each other again.
Good morning
Not sure what category I fit into now. I did notice that when I was in my fifties that I felt old going to the erotic dance clubs. But I acted differently when I did go. I always remember that the dancers age was so young ! I was the age of a Grandpa now. And felt that they were young girls when I was younger.
As for real life, hmm not sure what I think or do. Yes I try not to look anymore, but oh god they look amazing. I remember that category three Grandpa fit in. He had his hair and the money to back it up ! Oh yes the women liked him. Mostly older women, but sometimes a younger one would be around him and he knew it was for his money. Now that I am in my sixties its even harder not to be that old man. But its not bad being the old grandpa type that tells them things.
Like stand tall and pull your shoulders back ! That way your breasts will look bigger ! Lol I am old so I can get away with it ! Another thing grandpa taught me. You can say things that are wild to say out loud. Because we did it already. But you know youth is wasted on the young.
As for women as they get older, yeah they do lose that spark that made them sexy. They dont engage in sexual activity anymore. Sad because they were good at it, and they still are sexy but dont believe it ! Staying healthy is important. To life it self ! If you want to get older or just give up and die. Does that change the categories some ? Some of us are okay with getting older, but still not happy with it. So hug those older people in your life because they are not going to be around long.
Sometimes it takes a little thought to formulate the response, or perhaps we didn't even drop by the site... :-)
I'm struggling to see myself is any of this, having upgraded girlfriend 1.0 directly to wife 1.0 at 22 years and being happy zipping around in an MX-5 over a Porsche (I leave that to a relative who's gradually acquiring a small collection).
For me, it's just nice to be able to appreciate beauty as I encounter it and, if an occasion arises, for small talk at a checkout. I tend to be equal opportunity across age and sex - the prime determinant beingy perception of your approachability and whether I can come up with something to say on the spot. I may occasionally be lured into changing my planned path through the supermarket as a result of a pleasant sighting, but don't recall that being age-dependant so much as due to attractiveness or clothing selection. The last such occasion I recall was of someone my own age or thereabouts. I am conscious that some of the surrounding beauty is of an age less than my own kids and that feels a little weird but I think I can get away with platonic admiration.
On the hunched shoulders, it is something I notice for the overall posture benefits, mind, even if it has the side effect of emphasising the bust, perhaps since I used to be admonished for the same and made the effort to correct it. Shoulders back is better for everyone and it's always small points off if you present yourself with rounded shoulders regardless of the other attributes. I'd be unlikely to voice that beyond nieces and nephews, though.
Ohh I remember something
When going to the stores or just out and I see one of those young attractive girls.
I say to myself that would hurt . Because I cant satisfy one that young, like the (eagles song). And a divorce is expensive ! Lol But it reminds me not to look too long at her beauty.
While im.far beyond the demographic you're speaking of I'll chime in and say group 4.
I have no problem speaking to ladies (I know, I've heard calling women ladies is a micro aggression... bull crap.) even if most are way too young for me.
I'll ask you a question Flora,
What drives beautiful ladies of whatever age to denigrate themselves? You're neither old, nor fat nor ugly so why can't you ( all of you out there) see yourself as we men see you, beautiful? I KNOW that drop dead gorgeous ladies look in the mirror and see tiny "imperfections " while we men look at the whole lady and say "DAMN..., that's hot" but damned if I understand it.
It's frustrating.
I may be unusual, but I am 77 and I have no problem with women of any age. I dont ask for friend requests on Facebook and yet I have a ton of female friends, the youngest being 8, the next 18 and maybe 20 around 19 or 20. The come up to me and talk to me. One girl 2 weeks ago said I was the grandfather she never had. I just think if you treat people with respect, they will be your friend.
Mike, I wrote about it several times. Yes, we see our imperfections while you may see our sexiness for good evolutionary reasons.
We are created for different reproductive strategies. You can only invest a couple of minutes and 5ml of sperm, we need to invest years into the raising of the resulting offspring. This is why your best strategy is to impregnate as many women as possible while for us is to have you stick around to help with raising the babies. As a result, your main selection criterion for a partner is her display of reproductive fitness (aka sexiness, aka beauty) while we have a far reacher set of criteria to select our mating partner. And of course we care about our display or reproductive fitness a lot - because you do. And having a more refined palate means we see our imperfections more. Your goal is to impregnate sexy women, not perfect ones. Ours is to be beautiful enough to attract the best partners and make them stick by us.
So yes, we do see our physical imperfections more than you see yours, more than we see yours and sometimes even more than you see ours. And we try to solve them with sport and diet or hide them with makeup and... Yes, with clothes. Because clothes' main purpose today is not to protect us from cold and not even to hide our sexual bits from potential abuse - it is to hide our little folds and skin imperfections and make you dream.
That being said, when a woman goes "I'm old, fat and ugly" that's usually either tongue-in-cheek self-deprecation or fishing for compliments. Because when we really feel old, fat and ugly we don't say it out loud. We hide and cry.
And the best answer to such statement is never "it doesn't matter, we like your personality" but rather "stop pulling our leg, you're drop-dead gorgeous". Hint, hint.
Fascinating subject and evocative presentation. Great responses as well. I , however, feel like the square peg attempting to fit in one of 3 round holes. I am at ease approaching and engaging women in the range of which you speak. I don't, nor will ever make misinterpreted assumptions regarding their apparent success. I am unsure if this hits the target or not but again, dear Flora, thank you so very much for making us actually think.
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