RE:Not what it looks like.

One day after work I stopped off for a couple of beers with some co-workers.
When I arrived home my wife angrily started whining and complaining about me not coming straight home after work.
When she paused for a minute,
I said, "We have only been married for three months and you're starting to sound like my ex-wife."
She screamed, "I didn't know you were married before."
I replied, "I wasn't."

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RE:Not what it looks like.

I talked with a homeless man this morning and asked him how he ended up this way.
He said, "Up until last week, I still had it all.
I had plenty to eat, my clothes were washed and pressed, I had a roof over my head,
I had HDTV and Internet, and I went to the gym, the pool, and the library.
I was working on my MBA on-line. I had no bills and no debt. I even had full medical coverage.
I felt sorry for him, so I asked, "What happened? Drugs? Alcohol? Divorce?"
"Oh no, nothing like that," he said. "No, no...I was paroled."

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RE:Random thoughts and jokes

The prostitute that couldn't spell ended up working in a warehouse.

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RE:Random thoughts and jokes

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She had been shopping with her Mom in Asda. She must have been 6 years old, this beautiful red haired,freckle faced image of innocence. It was pouring outside. The kind of rain that gushes over the top of rain gutters, so much in a hurry to hit the earth it has no time to flow down the spout.

We all stood there under the awning and just inside the door of the Asda. We waited, some patiently, others irritated because nature
messed up their hurried day. I am always mesmerized by rainfall. I get lost in the sound and sight of the heavens washing away the dirt and dust of the world.

Memories of running, splashing so carefree as a child come pouring in as a welcome reprieve from the worries of my day. Her voice was so sweet as it broke the hypnotic trance we were all caught in.

"Mom, let's run through the rain," she said. "What?" Mom asked. "Let's run through the rain!" She repeated. "No, honey. We'll wait until it slows down a bit," Mom replied.

This young child waited about another minute and repeated: "Mom,let's run through the rain."

"We'll get soaked if we do," Mom said.

"No, we won't, Mom. That's not what you said this morning," the young girl said as she tugged at her Mom's arm. "This morning? When did I say we could run through the rain and not get wet?"

"Don't you remember? When you were talking to Daddy about his cancer, you said, 'If God can get us through this, he can get us through anything!'"

The entire crowd stopped dead silent. I swear you couldn't hear anything but the rain. We all stood silently. No one came or left in the next few minutes. Mom paused and thought for a moment about what she would say.

Now some would laugh it off and scold her for being silly. Some might even ignore what was said. But this was a moment of affirmation in a young child's life. A time when innocent trust can be nurtured so that it will bloom into faith.

"Honey, you are absolutely right. Let's run through the rain. If God let's us get wet, well maybe we just needed washing," Mom said.

Then off they ran. We all stood watching, smiling and laughing as they darted past the cars and yes, through the puddles. They held their shopping bags over their heads just in case. They got soaked. But they were followed by a few who screamed and laughed like children all the way to their cars.

And yes, I did. I ran. I got wet. I needed washing. Circumstances or people can take away your material possessions, they can take away your money, and they can take away your health. But no one can ever take away your precious memories...So, don't forget to make time and take the opportunities to make memories every day!

To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under heaven.

A friend sent this to me to remind me of life, hope you enjoy it.
I HOPE YOU STILL TAKE THE TIME TO RUN THROUGH THE RAIN

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RE:Random thoughts and jokes

Two Blondes walk into a bar, the second one didn't see it either.

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RE:Random thoughts and jokes

That's awesome, thanks for sharing, next time it rains I will run

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RE:Random thoughts and jokes

I ordered a chicken and an egg on Amazon.
Ill let you know

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RE:Random thoughts and jokes

I decided to take a day off and go to the race track.
I bet on a horse at 10 to one.
It came in at quarter past four.

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RE:Random thoughts and jokes

The Music Of Your Life.

Is there a song that is significant in your life?
What is it and why?

Mine is

Ray Charles, I Cant Stop Loving You.

We met at work. She was married with children, so was I.
We feel instantly in love. We never really consummated our love affair.
A few stolen kisses. Many long phone calls. The one that got away.

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RE:Random thoughts and jokes

HORSE RACE Line up and odds:
In lane 1. Passionate Lady @ 2 to1
In lane 2. Bare Belly @ 4 to 1
In lane 3. Silk Panties @ 8 to 1
In lane 4. Conscience @ 100 t0 1
In lane 5. Jockey Shorts @ 10 to 1
In lane 6. Clean Sheets @ 25 to 1
In lane 7. Thighs @ 15 to 1
In lane 8. Big Dick @ 2 to 5
In lane 9. Heavy Bosom @ 12 to 1
In lane 10. Merry Cherry @ 50 to 1

AND THEY'RE OFF!!!
Conscience is left behind at the gate.
Jockey Shorts and Silk Panties are off in a hurry.
Heavy Bosom is being pressured.
Passionate Lady is caught between Thighs and
Big Dick is in a dangerous spot.

AT THE HALFWAY MARK:
It's Bare Belly on top, Thighs open and
Big Dick is pushing in.
Heavy Bosom is being pushed hard against Clean Sheets.
Passionate Lady and Thighs are working hard on Bare Belly.
Bare Belly is under terrific pressure from Big Dick

AT THE TURN
Merry Cherry pops under the strain.
Silk Panties and Jockey shorts are no longer in the picture
Bare Belly is making a final push.
Big Dick is in and Passionate Lady is coming.

AT THE STRETCH:
It's Big Dick taking charge
Passionate Lady continues to take all Big Dick can offer.
Bare Belly buckles under the pressure
As Thighs are forced wide

AT THE FINISH
It looks like a dead heat but Big Dick comes
through with one final thrust and wins by a head
Bare Belly shows
Thighs continue to fall back
Heavy Bosom pulls up
And Clean Sheets never had a chance.

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