1.Early this morning, Sir Nigel boarded HS2 at London Euston well he thought he did.
2.He scanned his ticket: Phase One, London to Birmingham , Opening 2026.
3.He took a seat. Heard the whoosh. Felt a gentle tremor.
4.A voice crackled: Ladies and gentlemen well start moving eventually.
5.Sir Nigel adjusted his monocle. Ah, the future of transport!
6. A child tugged his sleeve: Grampa, why are we still here?
7.Sir Nigel smiled: Patience, my dear. Innovation takes time.
8.An engineer in HiVis barged by:
Tunnels done! Viaducts are half done!
9.The child frowned. Then why am I late for school?
10.Sir Nigel winked: Spot the HS2 much like Bigfoot, widely discussed, rarely seen.
11.Outside, a banner read: HS2: 100bn of Britains finest dirt.
12.Sir Nigel nodded solemnly. A bargain, if you love holes.
13.The voice apologized for further delay: Timetable under review.
14.The child frowned again: Review? They havent even started!
15.Sir Nigel patted his head: Its the British way, declare, delay, declare again.
16. Another whoosh, identical to the last one.
17.A pigeon flew past the window. Faster.
18.Sir Nigel sighed: Even the wildlife outruns the bureaucracy.
19.The train bless its steel heart stayed gloriously stationary.
20.Punchline: And so HS2 became the first phantom railway always proposed, never departed.
Meanwhile - all over the world people starve
Have a little think about that ..
JennS44 x