I learn from the mistakes of others.......................who took my advice.
Antworten
- 2H2hangfreeUrsprünglicher VerfasserMar 29, 2023
There's no need to drive me crazy, l'm close enough to walk.
ReagierenAntworten - 2H2hangfreeUrsprünglicher VerfasserJun 11, 2023
Don't bother walking a mile in my shoes.. spend 30 seconds in my head, that'll freak you right out.
ReagierenAntworten - 2H2hangfreeUrsprünglicher VerfasserJul 15, 2023
I went for a nice run yesterday...I didn't plan on it, but the ice cream truck didn't stop.
ReagierenAntworten - 2H2hangfreeUrsprünglicher VerfasserJul 16, 2023
I've decided on my new career. I'm going to be a backward stripper. I come on stage naked and people pay me to put my clothes back on.
ReagierenAntworten - MI
Jul 16, 2023There is a play Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike in which Spike appears on stage in underwear and puts the rest of his clothes on with the types of body motions strippers use when taking them off.
ReagierenAntworten - 2H2hangfreeUrsprünglicher VerfasserSep 21, 2023
I think some things are better left unsaid ....and l usually think that right after l say it.
ReagierenAntworten - 2H2hangfreeUrsprünglicher VerfasserSep 23, 2023
I told my wife I wanted to be cremated..... She made me an appointment for Tuesday.
ReagierenAntworten - LA
Sep 23, 2023[quote]I told my wife I wanted to be cremated..... She made me an appointment for Tuesday.[/quote] If you make it to your appointment and it's successful. we won't be hearing from you anymore after the next 3 days.ReagierenAntworten - 2H2hangfreeUrsprünglicher VerfasserDec 22, 2023
If you don't swear while driving.....you're not paying enough attention to the road.
ReagierenAntworten - 2H2hangfreeUrsprünglicher VerfasserJan 12, 2024
By the time someone says something in the meeting worth writing down, l've likely already taken my pen apart and lost the spring.
ReagierenAntworten - JA
Jan 12, 2024[quote]By the time someone says something in the meeting worth writing down, l've likely already taken my pen apart and lost the spring.[/quote] LOL! Such is my life!ReagierenAntworten - 2H2hangfreeUrsprünglicher VerfasserJan 27, 2024
Husband: l want you to have this bracelet Dear, it belonged to my grandmother.... Wife: why does it say Do Not Resuscitate.
ReagierenAntworten - 2H2hangfreeUrsprünglicher VerfasserFeb 9, 2024
Doctor said if l have the vasectomy, l would't have any kids...had the op.... got home... and they're still here...
ReagierenAntworten - RO
Feb 10, 2024hahahahaha maybe they'll be gone when you have it reversed after a day or two =)
ReagierenAntworten - BA
Feb 13, 2024[quote]Doctor said if l have the vasectomy, l would't have any kids...had the op.... got home... and they're still here...[/quote] Oh hell, I just blew beer out my nose!!!ReagierenAntworten - NJ
Mar 8, 2024If you're naked on the front porch and the neighbors can't see you,
it's rural.
If you're naked on the front porch and the neighbors call the cops,
it's suburban.
If you're naked on the front porch and the neighbors ignore you,
it's urban.
If you're naked on the front porch and your neighbor is also naked,
it's Florida.ReagierenAntworten - 2H2hangfreeUrsprünglicher VerfasserApr 30, 2024
There's a fine line between genius and crazy.....l like to use that line as a jump rope.
ReagierenAntworten - 2H2hangfreeUrsprünglicher VerfasserJun 22, 2024
Just because it's a bad idea.... doesn't mean it won't be a good time!!
ReagierenAntworten - 2H2hangfreeUrsprünglicher VerfasserJul 11, 2024
Due to rising costs... dirty deeds are no longer done dirt cheap ... sorry for the inconvenience.
ReagierenAntworten - 2H2hangfreeUrsprünglicher VerfasserJul 19, 2024
My child will not eat fish... what can I replace it with? .....A cat, cats love fish.
ReagierenAntworten - 2H2hangfreeUrsprünglicher VerfasserJul 20, 2024
I just released my own fragrance....no one in the car seemed to like it.
ReagierenAntworten - 2H2hangfreeUrsprünglicher VerfasserJul 21, 2024
The fact that Keith Richards has outlived Richard Simmons really makes me question this eating healthy and exercise thing
ReagierenAntworten - IF
Jul 22, 2024My research indicates that 70% of people are stupid. Obviously, I'm in the other 40%...
ReagierenAntworten
