TH
thomasstierneyUrsprünglicher Verfasser
Dec 12, 2012A man with an erection?
Now that I have your attention.
An erotically named thread
Is most often read.
But, to solicit rhymes or limericks is my intention.
Now that I have your attention.
An erotically named thread
Is most often read.
But, to solicit rhymes or limericks is my intention.
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Antworten
- MA
Jan 10, 2013The funniest sign I ever saw,
Hanging on an old shop door,
"We don't have plenty
when we're empty,
So don't come back for anymore"ReagierenAntworten - THthomasstierneyUrsprünglicher VerfasserJan 11, 2013On the breast of a barmaid named Gale,
Is tattooed the price of brown ale.
And on her behind,
For the sake of the blind,
Is the same information, in braille!ReagierenAntworten - MAJan 11, 2013The other night I had a drink,
It was a funny colored pink,
I did not like the taste,
So drank it down in haste,
And now my breath does stink.ReagierenAntworten - THthomasstierneyUrsprünglicher VerfasserJan 11, 2013Said a guy who liked to drink beer,
"To me it is perfectly clear.
the more suds you drink,
the better you think!"
And then he fell on his ear.ReagierenAntworten - MAJan 11, 2013To me it is perfectly clear,
Whenever I'm drinking beer,
And fall to the floor,
I don't have anymore,
Or the headache will be severe.ReagierenAntworten - THthomasstierneyUrsprünglicher VerfasserJan 11, 2013There once was an old man named Flynn,
who drank daily from a bottle of gin.
He'd wake from his nap,
with a memory gap,
and befriend the old bottle again.ReagierenAntworten - MAJan 12, 2013There's something I feel I must relay,
I'm finding it harder every day,
Composing rhyme
every time,
That's really all I have to say.ReagierenAntworten - THthomasstierneyUrsprünglicher VerfasserJan 12, 2013Tho, with rhymes I like to play,
I read what you had to say.
I wouldn't feel blue,
If you wanna try something new.
If you have something post it today.ReagierenAntworten - NU
Jan 14, 2013There's something I feel I must say,
although I'm not here every day,
I enjoy composing a rhyme
from time to time.
Please, y'all continue to play.ReagierenAntworten - THthomasstierneyUrsprünglicher VerfasserJan 15, 2013Most limericks pack laughs anatomical
Into space that is quite economical.
But the good ones I've seen
So seldom are clean
And the clean ones are seldom comical.ReagierenAntworten - MAJan 21, 2013A Brief Limerick Story:
The Erratic Rat
There was a ridiculous Rat
Who was awfully puffy and fat.
Ill carry, he said,
This plate on my head,
Twill answer in place of a hat.
[img border=0 alt="The Jingle Book, The Erratic Rat 1" src="http://www.oldfashionedamericanhumor.com/images/The_Jingle_Book_The_Erratic_Rat_1.png" width=229 height=259>
[img border=0 alt="The Jingle Book, The Erratic Rat 2" src="http://www.oldfashionedamericanhumor.com/images/The_Jingle_Book_The_Erratic_Rat_2.png" width=317 height=218>
And then he remarked with a frown,
I suppose that I must have a gown;
Ill make me a kilt
Of this old crazy-quilt,
To wear when Im going to town.
And of course, though the weather is warm,
It may be therell come up a storm;
An umbrella Ill make
Of a caraway cake,
Itll match with my whole uniform.
"And Ill carry a bottle of ink
In case I should wish for a drink;
And this flat-iron so sweet
Ill take with me to eat,
And now I am ready, I think.
[img border=0 alt="The Jingle Book, The Erratic Rat 3" src="http://www.oldfashionedamericanhumor.com/images/The_Jingle_Book_The_Erratic_Rat_3.png" width=281 height=229>ReagierenAntworten - THthomasstierneyUrsprünglicher VerfasserJan 21, 2013A barmaid whose behind was superior.
Was told, "Your singing is quite inferior!"
She was never known to be crass,
and did show some real class
when she said, "You can kiss my posterior!"ReagierenAntworten - THthomasstierneyUrsprünglicher VerfasserJan 23, 2013There once was a young girl named Charlotte,
Who made extra cash as a harlot.
She screwed a producer,
Who tried to seduce her,
And now she's a Hollywood Starlet.ReagierenAntworten - THthomasstierneyUrsprünglicher VerfasserJan 26, 2013There was a young girl from Rabat,
who had triplets, Nat, Pat and Tat;
It was fun in the breeding,
But hell in the feeding,
When she found she had no tit for Tat.ReagierenAntworten - MAJan 29, 2013There was an old man of Madrid
Who ate 65 eggs - yes, he did!
When they asked, "Are you faint?"
He replied, "No, I ain't -
But I don't feel as well as I did!"ReagierenAntworten - THthomasstierneyUrsprünglicher VerfasserJan 29, 2013A felon was trying to run,
But his plan to escape was undone:
He tripped and he fell,
Tumbling into a well.
Never run while you're under the gun.ReagierenAntworten - MAJan 29, 2013A traveler once to his sorrow
Requested a ticket to Morrow.
Said the railman, "It's plain
That there isn't a train
To Morrow today, but tomorrow."ReagierenAntworten - THthomasstierneyUrsprünglicher VerfasserJan 30, 2013An elderly man called Keith
Mislaid his set of false teeth -
They'd been laid on a chair,
He'd forgot they were there,
Sat down, and was bitten beneath.ReagierenAntworten - MAJan 30, 2013There once was a man of Bengal
Who was asked to a fancy-dress ball;
He said, "I will risk it
And go as a biscuit"
But a dog ate him up in the hall.ReagierenAntworten - THthomasstierneyUrsprünglicher VerfasserJan 30, 2013A fellow was planning to wed
a gal rather awful in bed.
When he gave her a sex book,
She wouldn't even take a look,
So he married the author instead.ReagierenAntworten - THthomasstierneyUrsprünglicher VerfasserFeb 1, 2013I once was footloose and fancy free,
Hiking through Tennessee.
Then I got caught in a barn sleeping
Despite all my weeping,
I'm now under lock and key.ReagierenAntworten - MAFeb 1, 2013I was feeling so tired I needed a bed,
So went to sleep in a dirty old shed,
Whilst having a nap,
I felt a big slap,
As the roof fell down on my head.ReagierenAntworten - THthomasstierneyUrsprünglicher VerfasserFeb 1, 2013As the roof fell down on my head.
I was afraid I was gonna be dead.
Then appeared a beautiful barmaid,
I was sure I was going to get laid,
But, I awoke with a head ache instead.ReagierenAntworten - MAFeb 2, 2013The roof fell down on my poor head,
When I was in the barmaid's bed,
"It's clear to see,
You're trapped on me,
What will my husband say " she said.ReagierenAntworten