TH
thomasstierneyUrsprünglicher Verfasser
Jun 6, 2012One night I went to a local bar and asked the very pretty barmaid
"Where have you been all my life?"
She smiled and replied, "For the first half of it, I wasn't born yet."
"Where have you been all my life?"
She smiled and replied, "For the first half of it, I wasn't born yet."
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- JA
Jun 25, 2012What happened to the Pope when he went to Mount Olive?
Popeye almost killed him!ReagierenAntworten - MA
Jun 25, 2012[img src="http://xkcd.nl/vi/funny-pictures-pop-eye-the-sailor-cat.jpg">
ReagierenAntworten - THthomasstierneyUrsprünglicher VerfasserJun 26, 2012Descartes walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "Would you like a beer?"
Descartes replies "I think not" and POOF! he vanishes.ReagierenAntworten - THthomasstierneyUrsprünglicher VerfasserJun 26, 2012After months of arguments, I told my wife I had been secretly seeing a psychiatrist.
"Don't worry about it," she said. "I've been secretly seeing a bartender and the pool boy."ReagierenAntworten - THthomasstierneyUrsprünglicher VerfasserJun 26, 2012My ex was standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror and said,
'I feel horrible’. ‘I look fat, ugly and out of shape'. 'Pay me a compliment.'
I guess I shouldn’t have said, "There is nothing wrong with your eyesight.ReagierenAntworten - MAJun 26, 2012A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted.ReagierenAntworten
- THthomasstierneyUrsprünglicher VerfasserJun 26, 2012Compromise is when one person wants to rob a bank and the other person does not,
and they compromise to rob a person outside of the bank.ReagierenAntworten - THthomasstierneyUrsprünglicher VerfasserJun 26, 2012Real men don’t ask for directions. Ever.
It pisses off women, which is the real reason they do it.ReagierenAntworten - THthomasstierneyUrsprünglicher VerfasserJun 27, 2012There are no stupid questions, but there are a lot of inquisitive idiots.ReagierenAntworten
- MAJun 27, 2012
I'm running out of jokes, strange, because we have many of them joining this site.
ReagierenAntworten - THthomasstierneyUrsprünglicher VerfasserJun 27, 2012God must love them, he sure made a lot of them.ReagierenAntworten
- THthomasstierneyUrsprünglicher VerfasserJun 27, 2012I have a photographic memory. I just don't remember where I left the film.ReagierenAntworten
- MAJun 27, 2012
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
ReagierenAntworten - THthomasstierneyUrsprünglicher VerfasserJun 28, 2012The best way to maintain a successful relationship is to have integrity and wisdom.
The integrity to always keep your word.
And the wisdom to never give your word.ReagierenAntworten - MAJun 28, 2012A wise man learns by the mistakes of others, a fool by his own.ReagierenAntworten
- THthomasstierneyUrsprünglicher VerfasserJun 29, 2012Every so often, I like to go outside, look up, and smile for Google Earth.ReagierenAntworten
- JAJun 29, 2012
It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
ReagierenAntworten - THthomasstierneyUrsprünglicher VerfasserJun 30, 2012There is one good thing about old age--it doesn't last that long.ReagierenAntworten
- THthomasstierneyUrsprünglicher VerfasserJun 30, 2012Rummaging through her attic one day, my friend Kathryn found an old shotgun.
Unsure how to dispose of it, she called her parents.
"Take it to the police station," her mother suggested.
My friend was about to hang up when her mom added, "And Kathryn"?
"Yes, mom"?
"Call them first and let them know you're coming."ReagierenAntworten - MAJul 1, 2012Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.ReagierenAntworten
- THthomasstierneyUrsprünglicher VerfasserJul 1, 2012[quote]Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.[/quote]How did you know?ReagierenAntworten