TH
thomasstierneyUrsprünglicher Verfasser
Jun 6, 2012One night I went to a local bar and asked the very pretty barmaid
"Where have you been all my life?"
She smiled and replied, "For the first half of it, I wasn't born yet."
"Where have you been all my life?"
She smiled and replied, "For the first half of it, I wasn't born yet."
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- DE
Apr 28, 2015[quote]If the metric system did ever take over, we'd have to change our thinking to the following:
A miss is as good as 1.1 kilometers.
Put your best 0.3 of a meter forward.
Spare the 5.03 meters and spoil the child.
Give a man 2.5 centimeters and he'll take 1.06 kilometers.
Peter Piper picked 8.8 liters of pickled peppers.
[/quote]You're right, metrics is confusing. According to your post quoted above, it seems like one mile equals 1.1 km or 1.06 km. I don't know the answer either. I said that metrics is confusing but shouldn't it be metrics are confusing?ReagierenAntworten - THthomasstierneyUrsprünglicher VerfasserApr 28, 2015[quote][quote]If the metric system did ever take over, we'd have to change our thinking to the following:
A miss is as good as 1.1 kilometers.
Put your best 0.3 of a meter forward.
Spare the 5.03 meters and spoil the child.
Give a man 2.5 centimeters and he'll take 1.06 kilometers.
Peter Piper picked 8.8 liters of pickled peppers.
[/quote]You're right, metrics is confusing. According to your post quoted above, it seems like one mile equals 1.1 km or 1.06 km. I don't know the answer either. I said that metrics is confusing but shouldn't it be metrics are confusing?[/quote]
I believe it should be The metric system IS confusingReagierenAntworten - THthomasstierneyUrsprünglicher VerfasserApr 30, 2015At one time I found a book I actually feel in love with.
Sorry to say I unexpectedly lost the book that I loved so much.
I never tried to find a replacement copy.
There never could be a sequel.ReagierenAntworten - MIMitgliedMay 8, 2015
Hockey players are tough. Hockey goalies are crazy. Hockey fans are nuts. Long live Hockey!
ReagierenAntworten - THthomasstierneyUrsprünglicher VerfasserMay 8, 2015No matter how big and bad you are, when a two year old hands you a toy phone, you answer it.ReagierenAntworten
- THthomasstierneyUrsprünglicher VerfasserMay 10, 2015What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter? --- Pumpkin Pi.ReagierenAntworten
- THthomasstierneyUrsprünglicher VerfasserMay 11, 2015One evening an exciting book appeared in my life. A book with a young fresh plot I soon fell in love with.I enjoyed every chapter not knowing and not caring how the book would end.
Unexpectedly I lost the book that I loved so much. I never even tried to find a replacement copy.
I knew there never could be a sequel.ReagierenAntworten - THthomasstierneyUrsprünglicher VerfasserMay 12, 2015A large two engine train was crossing America. After they had gone some distance one of the engines broke down.
"No problem," the engineer thought, and carried on at half-power.
Further on down the line, the other engine broke down, and the train came to a standstill. The engineer decided he should inform the passengers about why the train had stopped, and made the following announcement:
"Ladies and gentlemen, I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that both engines have failed, and we will be stuck here for some time. The good news is that this is a train and not a plane."ReagierenAntworten - THthomasstierneyUrsprünglicher VerfasserMay 13, 2015I'm not a saying my ex was a bad cook but my doctor told me to start eating out.ReagierenAntworten
- MA
May 13, 2015Some people are alive . . . only because it's illegal to kill them.ReagierenAntworten - THthomasstierneyUrsprünglicher VerfasserMay 13, 2015A lady sitting in the dentist chair told the dentist, "I would rather go through the pain of child birth than have you drill in my mouth." The dentist replied, "Well, you had better make up your mind so I can adjust my chair."ReagierenAntworten
- THthomasstierneyUrsprünglicher VerfasserMay 22, 2015The best way to mend a broken heart is time and girlfriends.ReagierenAntworten
- MAMay 22, 2015A Texan schoolboy who was studying Greek Mythology?
When the teacher asked him to name something that was
half-man and half-beast he replied
"Buffalo Bill."ReagierenAntworten - THthomasstierneyUrsprünglicher VerfasserMay 22, 2015Chocolate comes from cocoa which is a tree ... That makes it a plant which means ... chocolate is Salad.ReagierenAntworten
- MAMay 22, 2015[quote]Chocolate comes from cocoa which is a tree ... That makes it a plant which means ... chocolate is Salad.[/quote]Chocolate with salad cream, yes, that sounds good.ReagierenAntworten
- THthomasstierneyUrsprünglicher VerfasserMay 23, 2015When the kids texted me "plz" which is shorter than please. I texted back "no" which is shorter than "yes".ReagierenAntworten
- THthomasstierneyUrsprünglicher VerfasserJul 20, 2015I was having dinner with Magnus Carlsen and there was a checkered tablecloth.
It took him two hours to pass me the saltReagierenAntworten - MAJul 20, 2015[quote]I was having dinner with Magnus Carlsen and there was a checkered tablecloth.
It took him two hours to pass me the salt[/quote]Dinner would be cold and stale-mate, I would check in somewhere else before I got bored waiting.ReagierenAntworten - THthomasstierneyUrsprünglicher VerfasserJul 20, 2015[quote][quote]I was having dinner with Magnus Carlsen and there was a checkered tablecloth.
It took him two hours to pass me the salt[/quote]Dinner would be cold and stale-mate, I would check in somewhere else before I got bored waiting.[/quote]I stuck him with the check mate.ReagierenAntworten - THthomasstierneyUrsprünglicher VerfasserJul 30, 2015Call Girl
I checked into a hotel on a business trip and was a bit lonely so I thought I'd get me one of those girls you see advertised in phone booths when your calling for a cab. I grabbed a card on my way in. It was an ad for a girl calling herself Erogonique, a lovely girl, bending over in the photo. She had all the right curves in all the right places, beautiful long wavy hair, long graceful legs all the way up to her butt.
You know the kind. So I'm in my room and figure, what the hell, I'll give her a call.
"Hello?" the woman says. God, she sounded sexy.
"Hi, I hear you give a great massage and I'd like you to come to my room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hard, I want it hot, and I want it now. I'm talking kinky the whole night long. You name it, we'll do it. Bring all your implements, toys, everything you've got in your bag of tricks. We will go hot and heavy all night; Tie me up, wear a strap on, cover me in chocolate syrup and whip cream, anything you want baby. Now, how does that sound?"
She says, "That sounds fantastic, but for an outside line you need to press 9."ReagierenAntworten - MAJul 30, 2015The walls in our hotel were very thin. If I ever called out a question to my wife I'd get three different answers.ReagierenAntworten
- THthomasstierneyUrsprünglicher VerfasserSep 28, 2015Each evening a bird lover stood in his backyard, hooting like an owl - and one night, an owl finally called back to him.
For a year, the man and his feathered friend hooted back and forth. He even kept a log of the "conversation"...
Just as he thought he was on the verge of a breakthrough in interspecies communication, his wife had a chat with her next door neighbor.
"My husband spends his nights ... calling out to owls," she said. "That's odd," the neighbor replied. "So does my husband!"ReagierenAntworten - THthomasstierneyUrsprünglicher VerfasserSep 29, 2015Never give up on someone you can't go a day without thinking about.ReagierenAntworten
- THthomasstierneyUrsprünglicher VerfasserSep 30, 2015Kentucky hired an Amish woman to work at the DMV. She refuses to issue drivers licenses on Religious GroundsReagierenAntworten