TH
thomasstierneyAuteur d'origine
Jun 6, 2012One night I went to a local bar and asked the very pretty barmaid
"Where have you been all my life?"
She smiled and replied, "For the first half of it, I wasn't born yet."
"Where have you been all my life?"
She smiled and replied, "For the first half of it, I wasn't born yet."
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- KO
Jun 4, 2016[quote]Theme songs from the bible:
Salome: "I Could Have Danced All Night"
Daniel: "The Lion Sleeps Tonight"
Joshua: "Good Vibrations"
Jeremiah: "Take This Job and Shove It"
Elijah: "Up, Up, and Away"
Methuselah: "Stayin' Alive"
Nebuchadnezzar: "Crazy"
[/quote] ... and then there is/was
--Jonah:"Runaway"
--Moses, and company, after Egypt: "The Wanderer"
--Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego:"Hot Time in the Old Town Tonight"
--Lot, after leaving the communities of Sodom and Gomorrah:same as above;-)
--Joseph:"All I Have to Do is Dream"
-- Goliath:"Don't Bring Me Down!" xD
--Satan,the devil:"Another One Bites the Dust";-)RéagirRépondre - THthomasstierneyAuteur d'origineJun 6, 2016A musical director was having a lot of trouble with one drummer.
He talked and talked and talked with the drummer, but his performance simply didn't improve.Finally, before the whole orchestra, he said,
"When a musician just can't handle his instrument and doesn't improve when given help,
they take away the instrument, and give him two sticks, and make him a drummer."A stage whisper was heard from the percussion section:
"And if he can't handle even that, they take away one of his sticks and make him a conductor."RéagirRépondre - MA
Jun 6, 2016Standing around naked doesn't make you a nudist ......any more than standing in the garage make you a car.RéagirRépondre - THthomasstierneyAuteur d'origineJun 24, 2016An elephant is walking through the jungle when he comes across a naked man standing in a clearing.
The elephant slowly looks the man up and down and says, "How the hell do ya feed yourself with that?"RéagirRépondre - THthomasstierneyAuteur d'origineJun 27, 2016Do you know the difference between a biker and a golfer? A golfer only needs one ball.RéagirRépondre
- THthomasstierneyAuteur d'origineJul 4, 2016A California cosmetic surgery practice is opening a new office where
breast augmentation surgery is done on an outpatient basis in about 30 minutes.
... They are going to call the practice "Jiffy Boob."RéagirRépondre - THthomasstierneyAuteur d'origineJul 6, 2016Q. A high priced lawyer, a low priced lawyer and Santa Claus are at a table with $1000 in the center.
The lights go out. When the lights come back on the $1000 is missing. Who took it?A. The high priced lawyer. The other 2 are imaginary characters.RéagirRépondre - KOJul 10, 2016If there is such a word asnudity... then why is therenosuch word asnakedity?:-)
++++++
IsLnLjust a little short of laughing ... kinda like asmirkor laughing with your mouth closed?
If so, then LPL must be laughing with your tongue out. ;-)RéagirRépondre - KOJul 10, 2016Assuming a man has sex on his mind, just because he has an erection is kinda like assuming someone is gonna rob a bank, just because he has a mask on and a gun in his hand...;-)... wait a minute... Ok, maybe hedoeshave sex on his mind. ... nevertheless...demandingthatallerections be covered or hidden, sounds a little like thetextile argument... >> thewhole bodyshould be covered,allthe time... and ...onlya pervert would want to be naked in a public place. :-/ ...
So ... Judge not... just challenge him to keep it up for 4 hours or more... then he will have leave anyway, to find a doctor;-)RéagirRépondre - THthomasstierneyAuteur d'origineJul 11, 2016A group of Kentucky second, third, and fourth graders, accompanied by two female teachers,
went on a field trip to Churchill Downs, the famous Louisville race track,
to see and learn about thoroughbred horses.
When it was time to take the children to the bathroom, it was decided
that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other.
The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the men's room when
one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach the urinal.
Having no choice, she went inside, helped the boys with their pants,
and began hoisting the boys up, one by one, holding onto their "wee-wees" to direct
the flow away from their clothes.
As she lifted one, she couldn't help but notice that he was unusually well endowed.
Trying not to show that she was staring, the teacher said, "
You must be in the fourth grade.""No, ma'am," he replied. "I'm riding Silver Arrow in the seventh race today."RéagirRépondre - KOJul 21, 2016"A Man's Greatest Fear" ... is that nobody will notice his erection ;-) ... I couldn't bring myself to resurrect that old forum post, but I still thought it was a funny comment. :-)RéagirRépondre
- THthomasstierneyAuteur d'origineAug 2, 2016The economy is terrible.
At the beginning of the year, the politicians promised things would improve by the last quarter...
Well, I'm down to my last quarter and they haven't improved!RéagirRépondre - THthomasstierneyAuteur d'origineAug 8, 2016I was on one of those reality shows where I had to live in this
big house with people I'd never met, and we were on camera all
the time... Wait a minute -- that was prison. No wonder I didn't
get any good stuff when I got booted out.RéagirRépondre - THthomasstierneyAuteur d'origineAug 12, 2016For me, the most important thing in a relationship is trust.
Because if you're with a woman you can't 100% trust, how do you know she won't tell your wife?RéagirRépondre - MAAug 17, 2016I find it strange that an actor can earn millions of dollars per year by appearing nude in a Hollywood film but if someone is caught, nude, on a surveillance tape they could be branded a sex offender for life. I guess the logic is that it's ok to appear nude if you are being paid but not if you do it for free.RéagirRépondre
- THthomasstierneyAuteur d'origineAug 17, 2016[quote]I find it strange that an actor in can earn millions of dollars per year by appearing nude in a Hollywood film but if someone is caught, nude, on a surveillance tape they could be branded a sex offender for life. I guess the logic is that it's ok to appear nude if you are being paid but not if you do it for free.
[/quote]Intent!RéagirRépondre - THthomasstierneyAuteur d'origineAug 25, 2016[quote]
What if women had apostrophes instead of periods ?
They'd be even more possessive and prone to contractions .[/quote]Brilliant
(LIKE)RéagirRépondre - THthomasstierneyAuteur d'origineAug 25, 2016While watching TV have you noticed how many male and female actors are left handed? You will now!RéagirRépondre
- THthomasstierneyAuteur d'origineSep 5, 2016Whenever I see the commercial with the woman looking fully relaxed in a tub with cucumber slices on her eyes, I wonder where the rest of it is!RéagirRépondre
- MASep 6, 2016Whenever I see the commercial with the woman looking fully relaxed in a tub with cucumber slices on her eyes, I wonder where the rest of it is!
That's terrible. LOLRéagirRépondre - MA
Sep 6, 2016[quote]Whenever I see the commercial with the woman looking fully relaxed in a tub with cucumber slices on her eyes, I wonder where the rest of it is!
That's terrible. LOL
[/quote]Not as terrible as asking the shop assistant if the cucumber comes with batteries included in the price.RéagirRépondre - KOSep 7, 2016Once upon a time... there were7 dirty wordsyou couldn't say on TV ... then, somebody went and changed the meaning of the word DIRTY...;-pRéagirRépondre
- THthomasstierneyAuteur d'origineSep 12, 2016Last night I held a lovely hand,
A hand so small and neat,
I thought my heart would burst with joy,
So wildly did it beat.
No other hand unto my heart
Could greater pleasure bring
Than the dear one I held last night--
Four aces and a king.RéagirRépondre - KOSep 27, 2016
LoL --- Katy Perry is campaigning for someone... Naked :-) ... Is she a nudist, or just showing off?
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