Random thoughts and jokes - Humor and Fun on True Nudists

Jun 6, 2012

One night I went to a local bar and asked the very pretty barmaid
"Where have you been all my life?"

She smiled and replied, "For the first half of it, I wasn't born yet."

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Replies

JA
jaybirds
Jun 25, 2012
What happened to the Pope when he went to Mount Olive?

Popeye almost killed him!
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MA
ManOfWicklow
Jun 25, 2012
[img src="http://xkcd.nl/vi/funny-pictures-pop-eye-the-sailor-cat.jpg">
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TH
thomasstierneyOriginal Poster
Jun 26, 2012
Descartes walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "Would you like a beer?"
Descartes replies "I think not" and POOF! he vanishes.
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TH
thomasstierneyOriginal Poster
Jun 26, 2012
After months of arguments, I told my wife I had been secretly seeing a psychiatrist.
"Don't worry about it," she said. "I've been secretly seeing a bartender and the pool boy."
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TH
thomasstierneyOriginal Poster
Jun 26, 2012
My ex was standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror and said,
'I feel horribleâ€™. â€˜I look fat, ugly and out of shape'. 'Pay me a compliment.'
I guess I shouldnâ€™t have said, "There is nothing wrong with your eyesight.
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MA
ManOfWicklow
Jun 26, 2012
A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted.
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TH
thomasstierneyOriginal Poster
Jun 26, 2012
Compromise is when one person wants to rob a bank and the other person does not,
and they compromise to rob a person outside of the bank.

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TH
thomasstierneyOriginal Poster
Jun 26, 2012
Real men donâ€™t ask for directions. Ever.
It pisses off women, which is the real reason they do it.
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TH
thomasstierneyOriginal Poster
Jun 27, 2012
There are no stupid questions, but there are a lot of inquisitive idiots.
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MA
ManOfWicklow
Jun 27, 2012
I'm running out of jokes, strange, because we have many of them joining this site.
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TH
thomasstierneyOriginal Poster
Jun 27, 2012
God must love them, he sure made a lot of them.
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MA
ManOfWicklow
Jun 27, 2012
ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,Nice one.
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JA
jaybirds
Jun 27, 2012
My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely.
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TH
thomasstierneyOriginal Poster
Jun 27, 2012
I have a photographic memory. I just don't remember where I left the film.
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MA
ManOfWicklow
Jun 27, 2012
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
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TH
thomasstierneyOriginal Poster
Jun 28, 2012
The best way to maintain a successful relationship is to have integrity and wisdom.
The integrity to always keep your word.
And the wisdom to never give your word.
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MA
ManOfWicklow
Jun 28, 2012
A wise man learns by the mistakes of others, a fool by his own.
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TH
thomasstierneyOriginal Poster
Jun 29, 2012
Every so often, I like to go outside, look up, and smile for Google Earth.
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JA
jaybirds
Jun 29, 2012
It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
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TH
thomasstierneyOriginal Poster
Jun 30, 2012
There is one good thing about old age--it doesn't last that long.
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TH
thomasstierneyOriginal Poster
Jun 30, 2012
Rummaging through her attic one day, my friend Kathryn found an old shotgun.
Unsure how to dispose of it, she called her parents.
"Take it to the police station," her mother suggested.
My friend was about to hang up when her mom added, "And Kathryn"?
"Yes, mom"?
"Call them first and let them know you're coming."
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MA
ManOfWicklow
Jul 1, 2012
Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
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TH
thomasstierneyOriginal Poster
Jul 1, 2012
[quote]Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.[/quote]How did you know?
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MA
ManOfWicklow
Jul 1, 2012
Calculated guess.
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