I was thinking a bit further on this topic of "I'm just here because of my husband."
I've seen 2 different categories of this:
"I'm just here because of my husband...but I do enjoy being naked with him and {sunning, swimming, etc....} "
and
"I'm just here because of my husband...but I'm just not into nudity."
Same "cause"; completely different reaction.
Looking back at my first marriage, my wife initially had a mindset that approximated the second one. And after a few resort/non-landed trips, I was ready to quit. For one thing, I didn't like the optics of appearing like I was forcing my wife to be there. Second, I felt that her strong resistance to being seen nude created a discomfort for other women, which led to avoidance. Although I was sympathetic to her body-shame, I didn't want us to be defined that way by other nudists. Luckily, on what was supposed to be our last trip, a friendly and kind group of women managed to talk her out of her body-shame and embrace being confident in her nudity.
I know this is not a very popular opinion; but as I mentioned in my original post, if "she's just not into it", no matter how much she is willing to "give in and go anyway"; who is that helping?
For us, it wasn't helping that she just didn't enjoy herself anymore. She would agree to go just to go with me, but it was not enjoyable. So, we just stopped going.
On that note.
Back when I ran into an old co-worker and we started being included in their group of friends, I was overjoyed. My wife was lukewarm. Over time that turned to aggravation; as we then barely spent any time by ourselves. She wasn't adverse to socializing; but the constant feeling of being "crowded" - and the unavoidable "up close exposure" - prevented her from being truly relaxed. Her complaints eventually turned into a full-fledged argument; so we had to dramatically cut down on socializing - much to my chagrin - by going on days where our friends were not there. The alternative was much bleaker.I'm more open to low-key socializing in a nudist setting and don't know how to meet our currently different tolerances and interests.
Per my anecdote above; I would recommend going to a resort that has large enough grounds to stay clear of the crowd. At a C/O resort, your wife can even stay covered until you find a more "private" spot where she can be comfortably nude. It can work.
Per my anecdote above; I would recommend going to a resort that has large enough grounds to stay clear of the crowd. At a C/O resort, your wife can even stay covered until you find a more "private" spot where she can be comfortably nude. It can work.
Thanks. I wonder why this dichotomy appears. Maybe to some extent there is a sublimation (the diversion or modification of an instinctual impulse into a culturally higher or socially more acceptable activity) of sexual drive, particularly where a man wants it to be a shared activity with his wife. If so, a fight to keep her involved can be even more dispiriting.
Very well stated, Andy. That is the method my wife employed on her first visit to a resort. We had rented a RV for the weekend and she wore a beach coverup for the first day and observed the activities from our site. The next she was nude just a bit but enjoyed the stay. We have since returned many times.
I'm more open to low-key socializing in a nudist setting and don't know how to meet our currently different tolerances and interests.Per my anecdote above; I would recommend going to a resort that has large enough grounds to stay clear of the crowd. At a C/O resort, your wife can even stay covered until you find a more "private" spot where she can be comfortably nude. It can work.If a reluctant/hesitant or even moderately unwilling partner agrees to at least go, the best place to try it is a clothing optional club. Not a resort but a club. If you have an RV or are able to rent an RV, even better. At our club, we have met several couples where the female half of the couple was not will go nude around others. She wanted to keep it between her husband and herself. The had an RV, rented a spot, set up and she never left the campsite. They all stated that it was only a two night stay. The first day, the female typically remained covered. By mid second day, they were naked on their site only. They admitted that they were seen and that they observed other people walking by nude. It gave these women some removed observances where they could get some of their answers to questions, without asking, dispel misconceptions and better understand that it wasn't the big deal they thought it was.A couple of them never returned but a few did return and a couple of them actually joined the club. There are so many misconceptions about this lifestyle and so many females fear their husbands are getting them into something sexual. It's a difficult portion of this lifestyle that we all have to navigate, sometimes, no matter how long you've been a social nudist. It's not for everyone but I've always been one of those, "Don't knock it til you've tried it," kinda guys. My wife was not one of those until she finally agreed to try social nudism, found friends, found a freedom she loves and enjoys.
Sounds good as long as the wife is comfortable seeing people other than her husband nude. Mine is not.
The RV is definitely a good option. With my first wife it was a bungalow on our second trip; but same concept.
But I've also seen wives just sitting in front of their RV in the campground, reading a book or surfing on their phone, covered the entire time. While their husband was hanging out nude in the pool area. They didn't always seem to be newbies either. I think the "catch" to that approach is that the wife can get to thinking: "Oh, I can just stay in the campground and keep my clothes/sarong on; and I don't even have to be around nudists either? Sounds good to me!" And then the husband still ends up with a wife who is "just here because of my husband...but I'm just not into nudity." Which is something I actually heard a wife say. It seems that the more the resort is C/O, with people outside the pool area being covered, the higher the odds of this happening.
Of course, if a wife has that mindset from the get-go, the chance of her participating was probably slim to begin with...They admitted that they were seen and that they observed other people walking by nude. It gave these women some removed observances where they could get some of their answers to questions, without asking, dispel misconceptions and better understand that it wasn't the big deal they thought it was.
That is, in my experience, a very common development. Discreetly observing nudists - especially other women - from a distance considered "safe"; being confidently nude and interacting with no perceived hang-ups about being naked in other people's presence. In my case, my wife and I were sitting by ourselves in the picnic area in the back of the pool area; where she could have a clear view of the people there. It didn't take her long to start thinking: "If these women can just walk around completely naked with no issues, I can at least go topless and take a quick dip in the hot-tub." From there it was just a matter of a few casual interactions before she saw no sense in keeping herself hidden from people who clearly had no issues being naked in front of her.
But, there is no secret recipe. All you can do is "stack the cards in her favor" and hope that what she sees there evokes inspiration.
Yeap. Not being able to edit or delete makes me squeamish about posting something I can't change later.Though it's mostly men that have to go through this dilemma and process, there are some women out there that go through this as well.
Oh yes.
A good friend of my wife, upon finding out we were nudists, really wanted to accompany us on a trip to our resort. She had been to the nude beach before; and my wife and her had sunbathed nude while on vacation together. Her boyfriend was adamantly opposed to it. He's a bodybuilder, in better shape than I am. My wife tried to talk to him; to no avail. His issue was not his GF being seen nude by me or anyone else, or him seeing my wife nude; it was his own body dysmorphia. Which goes to show it's not only a female issue.
I once met a husband who was there at a nudist BnB "because of his wife." He chose to participate and be nude with her nonetheless because "it made her happy." But he had no nudist inclinations of his own. Good on him, though...
I think someones comfort level in a particular resort will have a lot to do with returning alone after a death or divorce.
For the past 5 or 6 years weve spent most of our nude vacation time in Charco De Palo, the naturist village on Lanzarote. We both love this place and Lorna has told me she would continue to holiday there even after I was gone.
Id like to share two experiences from last September. We arrived at our apartment mid afternoon, a couple were sitting out enjoying the sun in the apartment to our right, we said hello in passing and got to unpacking. Later after dinner we were sitting out enjoying a glass of wine, and we got chatting to this other couple. After about an hour chatting about all the usual topics on first meeting people, the lady told us that she wasnt a nudist, it is her husband who is. This was a great surprise to us, as for the last 4 hours all she had been wearing was a floppy hat and sunglasses. It was their first visit to Charco and she said she found it so comfortable and at ease with the palace that being nude seemed much more normal.
Her comfort level was definitely the reason she spent most of her time nude. They rebooked another visit before their holiday was over.
The next day the room on our left became occupied, and it turned out to be someone we had met the pervious year. Another couple, but only the woman was there, she explained that her husband was due to come at the same time, but something came up back home that he had to delay by 4 days, she told us that she wasnt going to miss 4 naked days because of him and she was happy to go alone. Her comfort level with Charco was the reason she could happily do this.
So I suppose, if you find the right places its easier for women to think they would be happy to return without a chaperone.
Actions
Back to TopicsReply to TopicShare this topic
Get paid just by sending us users/traffic.
Signup takes seconds, start now!
Signup as an affiliate!