Slice Of Life And Random Thoughts In The Anything Else Section
One evening a beautiful young woman appeared in my life.
For three dates we dined, danced, drank and talked.
On the fourth date as I walked her to her door, she suggested a night cap.
The next morning I jokingly said,
"I was so sure that you would say yes, I brought a toothbrush with me."
She smiled that beautiful smile, nodded toward the bathroom and said,
"The blue one is yours."
When I took my drivers test in the late 60's it was in a 1963 Saab. Back then they were 3 cylinder with a 2 cycle engine. Oil had to be put into the gas tank when filled. It always got some strange looks from the station attendant. For a smooth start the engine was revved up and let out the clutch. It gave a very smooth ride. During my driving test the examiner, herring the speed of the engine, he put his hands on the dashboard thinking that it was going to take off like a rocket. When I told him that it was a 2 cycle, he then relaxed. Bet that was his first ride in that type of car!
Here is a slice of my life.
I was in for quite a surprise as I entered my favorite cocktail lounge one night. Several of the women I had been lying with and lying too were sitting at the bar in alphabetical order, Annie, Betty, Charlotte and Dotty.
Wiping down a table in the far corner was the cocktail waitress, Wendy, one I had dated a year earlier. Sitting alone at the far end of the bar was Theresa, the one I had been with the night before.
"Youre So Vain" by Carly Simon was playing on the juke box.
The married bartender tried to keep from laughing, I was dating her secretly.
Luckily, Theresa reacted fast. She stood up, hurried towards me and said, "Its about time, lets go." We left.
I have several slice of life stories I can share.
A few years ago I was driving home from a movie with my then wife. It was a dark and cold night. I skidded on a patch of black ice. I hit a fire hydrant. Broke it off of course. Water was squirted forty feet into the air. My wife said, "I think you broke your radiator."
I was sitting in a cafe, and some girls opposite kept looking in my direction and giggling. They were facing the window,so I thought they must be amused by something outside.
I finished my lunch and went to the toilet. Standing at the urinal, put my hand to pull the zipper down, only to find it was already fully open. I didn't use that cafe again for a long time.
One night many years ago, I was at my favorite bar having a drink or two. It was early evening. I had been to the PUBLIC Textile beach with my girlfriend Alice, her daughters, ages 8 & 10 from a previous marriage , and her younger sister Jenny. Jenny was staying with Alice for a few days visit. After dropping all of them off at Alices apartment, I had gone home, showered, shaved and put on fresh clothes.
I decided to have a drink or two before going to see Alice. Gary was bartending, there were four or five other guys sitting at bar quietly drinking. A woman came in, looked us over, walked up to me and asked if I was Phil Turner. When I said I was, she shook her finger at me and started shouting things like, You should be ashamed of yourself - You really hurt her - Flirting with her sister - What is wrong with you? She raved and shouted for about three minutes, turned and stomped out. No one else had said a word while she was yelling at me. When she left it was dead silence in the bar. Gary looked at me and asked, Who was that? I answered,. I have no fuckin idea. Ive never seen her before. Someone asked, Do you know what she was yelling about? I said, Well, I did pay a lot of attention to Alices sister, Jenny today at the beach. Shes fun to joke with. When I decided to go to the mens room up the beach a ways, Jenny insisted on going to the womens room. We walked there together. She went in the womens section and I went into the men's section. When I came out Alice was standing there with the kids waiting. She seemed upset. Someone said, "Women!!" Someone else said, "Yeah!" That was the end of the conversation.
It was Monday, January 2, 1939 A Catholic Nun told a lie.
It was the first day of school after the Christmas holiday.
I was in the sixth grade of a Catholic school.
A young Nun was teaching her first class.
She wrote the date, Monday, January 2, 1938 in a upper left hand corner of the blackboard.
Some boy said, "HA". Several girls giggled. The Nun looked confused by the responses.
One girl raised her hand, the Nun pointed at her and said, "Yes?"
The girl said, "You wrote the wrong year."
The Nun turned and looked at the blackboard. She looked at what she had written and turned to the class and said,
"I wanted to see if you were paying attention."
Everyone in the class knew they had just witnessed a Catholic Nun tell a lie.
I recall a time when I was probably 10 and my mother had just cleaned the storm door window. A smudge appeared and she decided to see which one of us siblings was the culprit. We all of course said admitted innocence. She lined us up at the doorat thexsmudge and afterward found me to be the guilty one. I had to clean the glass. I asked how she figured it to be me. She said by the shape of the nose print with a laugh. It took me a good amount of time to realize it was my height that was equal to the smudge. I'd been tricked!