Unfortunately, BBC takes the focus away from black men and places it all in their penis, forgetting them as a whole person with many other attributes and qualities worth admiring. That is toxic behavior. If a black man doesnt possess the stereotyped large penis, is he not worthy in the eyes of those judging him? Is his blackness in question? At what point does a penis qualify for BBC and who determines that? On the flip side, if a man does have a larger penis, is that all of him one is focused on? Is his being rooted in this identity and nothing else? Theres so many questions and layers to the term.
Penis size and presentation is already a hot topic as is. BBC then sets expectations along with it: a black man must have a long, thick penis that can please sexually, last a long time, etc. A man is so much more than his penis. Ive seen the consequence on both ends, those with a so called BBC and those without, and the damage is detrimental. Some BBC men literally have their whole existence around their penis due to people telling them thats what their worth is based on and sadly, they accepted it, cause they dont know themselves as full people, just sexual objects. Then, Ive seen men without a BBC and feel like they are truly not living up to the expectations of a black man and feel lost. Its a sad state to be in that I wish my fellow black men didnt have to go through.
I find the term 'cock' offensive - period! This is just another example of white arrogance that allows them to define everything and everybody according to their reality. White people say "cock", therefore we must accept their terminology. Black people say 'DICK'. That is the term I prefer. So, I would be OK if white people would say 'BBD' rather than bbc.
I think is a comliment and I am not big or hung but think a man that is shoud be proud of what he has got. Why should it be offensive?
Every man, large, small and anywhere in between should be proud of what they have. I think in most cases it is meant to be a complement. It is the thought that you are somehow a better man because you are larger or just because you are black, you are larger than men of other ethnicitys. I have been embarrassed about my size for a long time, especially when being nude with someone new. Even though they would affirm that I was large enough, i had never felt that it was. Becoming a nudist has helped me to see myself as more than what the size is between my legs and more of the size between my ears.
I think is a comliment and I am not big or hung but think a man that is shoud be proud of what he has got. Why should it be offensive?Every man, large, small and anywhere in between should be proud of what they have. I think in most cases it is meant to be a complement. It is the thought that you are somehow a better man because you are larger or just because you are black, you are larger than men of other ethnicitys. I have been embarrassed about my size for a long time, especially when being nude with someone new. Even though they would affirm that I was large enough, i had never felt that it was. Becoming a nudist has helped me to see myself as more than what the size is between my legs and more of the size between my ears.
Mcdcvs, I completely agree with you! Every since the first time I had to change clothes in front of my teammates to put on my football uniform, I've struggled with being self conscience about my size. I had a cousin that was very athletic, muscular, and the girls thought he was the hottest thing around although he was no where near the top of his class concerning grades. He wore the bikini briefs and sported a large pouch. I never saw him naked but the perception was planted. My friends often made comments about me hurting girls if I had sex with them because I was always the tallest and heaviest guy in our bunch. Therefore they figured I was another John Holmes. I recall going to see the movie "Porkies" and my friends began to call me "Meat". It worried me because I had seen several very large penises in porn magazines and knew I was no where near their size. So the unintentional body shaming began!
Right after graduating college where I played football, I was a little over 6'2", weighed 285, could run the 40 yard dash in 4.8 seconds and was in pretty good shape. I did not have a gut and still had an athletic build. I had an experience that also made me very self conscience about my body. An older (about 8 years) lady kept looking at me but I didn't think anything of it at the time. Later that night, a male cousin of mine who was my father's age came over to me and encouraged me to stop being a wimp. I didn't have a clue what he was talking about and told him. He said why don't you stop being a wimp and go on over there and take her outside and f*ck the sh*t out of Lisa (name changed). I was like what are you talking about? He said she said that if your d*ck is proportionate to the rest of your body, she wants to f*ck you right now! That really made me worry because weighing that much had added some extra padding on my pubic bone and my penis looked even shorter. That really set me back as I figured that any woman that showed interest in me expected a massive penis. These are just a couple of the things that set strongholds in my mind about my body that I still battle today. Amazingly, I never approached Lisa and we now belong to the same church
Since my first clothed tour of a nudist resort, I have felt a lot more comfortable about my body by recognizing everyone is different. There is no right size for everyone. I've learned that some people have preferences for small, some medium, some large, and some extra large penises just as some have various preferences for breast, hands, feet, buttocks, stomachs, etc. As Mcdcvs stated, I believe that stereotype of "Mandingos" being well endowed is part of the problem. It doesn't matter what physical attributes a person possesses if they do not have an attractive attitude and personality!
I think the most important part of any person is their character. Being a gay man I see the term used frequently by black men. I think they're trying to elevate themselves of other black men. The physical appearance definitely draws attention to them but for me the final decision is his character.
While the stereotype has caused some people to assume I'm more well endowed than I am, I don't appreciate being someone's fetish unless I'm specifically looking for it. Usually when I see or hear this I chuckle, but at my age I've learned how to distinguish whether I'm being de-humanized or not.
Grown-ups with self-esteem dont care about what other folks think of them.
Imagine if the folks who HATED Gandhi, Rosa Parks, MLKjr, Susan B Anthony, Malcom X, St Patrick, Mandela, Martin Luther, Jews, Muslims, Christians, Sikhs et al had their way? Those heroes and sisters and brothers would never have gotten out of bed because of how folks thought, spoke, and physically attacked and threatened them directly incessantly.