RE:Homophobia in the Chatroom

Having approached this topic in the most sensitive and supportive of ways here and outside in the world, having been patient and endured listening to terrible rationalizations for why its acceptable, I am going to say it's not going to resolve any time soon. There has always been and unfortunately still is homophobia in the nudist and naturist worlds, and in some ways, far more conservative of faded and outdated traditions which stigmatize the out and open gay man, in part as a way to conceal or draw attention away from activity in or around the so called straight core of support that is strictly not suoposed to be happening according to the stated rules. I had a dude arguing that the word homosexual was not acceptable by naturism because it had the word sex in it. When I pointed out that heterosexual was the same he said but its not gay sex. This was at a pride parade marching under our organization's permit with no financial support.

I cant comment about this site, as they arent members, but my brother and his partner have found the naturist community as a whole far more accepting of them as a gay couple then certain elements of the gay community itself. They have been welcomed and accepted wherever they have been as naturists in the UK or Europe. Whereas they have been made to feel unwelcome by certain elements if they gay community because they are happy just living their life as a couple, dont get involved in campaigning and have concerns about whether events like Pride actually do the gay cause more harm that good. Dont jump down my throat, they are their views as a gay couple who have been together more than 20 years. Dont judge the naturist community on its attitude to gays by what goes in in the chatroom on here.

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RE:Homophobia in the Chatroom

I rarely identify myself as gay. But as I'm a male, and married to a man, that can lead to odd misunderstandings, since the assumption is that everyone is straight. My partner's name isn't plainly gendered, so the assumptions and the reality can veer pretty far apart for a remarkably long time. That assumption system - all the hippopotamus dancing in the cartoon are male, unless they're wearing pearls and lipstick, all the married men are married to women, all the faceless usernames are of white people - gets old. Yes, if you are a straight, white, male then all those assumptions work for you, feel completely natural, and produce no surprises, so why would you ever specify? But if one is a person the general assumptions don't apply to (and this is most of us, actually), then the choice is either to wait for the little surprise to come up at some random point, or to get ahead of it and proceed with more clarity. Offering a brief description of oneself isn't "pride", or confrontation. Its a perfectly conventional introductory strategy and conversation-starter. If it really bothers you, your politics are showing.

Thank you for articulating this so well and with class!

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RE:Homophobia in the Chatroom

I love this response - it made me giggle breaking down someone's learned homophobia. Well done - keep up the good work.

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RE:Homophobia in the Chatroom

As a male physician, I understand that human beings see things in very different ways on many fronts. Our societies, for very sound reasons desire a couple to be able to produce progeny for more personnel. They, do not care what sex or who the parents were, with rare exception.
Personally, as a male physician 8 have taken care of a number of male patients who when we got into th3 sexual area stated quite bluntly that they were gay and had a male partner. Well, guess what I did after checking this guy out. I wanted to see his male partner. This ended up in a very unique and interesting question session. These two m3n were deeply in love. They wanted a child of either sex to rear and become someone they could rear! Now the big issue: homo or normal?
They chose a boy, aha! I followed both of them in my clinic, checking regularly to make certain that young boy was treated fine. He was.
The long story is that this young boy if two homosexuals became a PHD biologist of some renown!
So much for the issue of no two sex parents. It is all about love, caring, education, and drive to make another contributory human being!
Hickguy

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RE:Homophobia in the Chatroom

I agree that identifying orientation and couple/parenting status is a polite way of introducing one's self. In fact, I find it better than the age old question of "what do you do?" to which I have always responded "about what?"
Orientation can become a societal subgenre like anything else. I grew up in an evangelical ethnic enclave that was a cultural oddity of its own. As a parent I've been to two churches with gay ministers which I chose because of the engaged communities. Both priests were lesbians with no kids. The first one utilized members to build up a strong children and younth program. Picking up my kids after Sunday school, no one knew or cared about parental orientations - the focus was on parenting and the kids. The church thrived and the priest went on to become a bishop. In the second church with a lesbian priest, she made it clear that LGBTQ+ was the flag she'd fly which the open-minded congregation supported as part of social ministry. But it took over the agenda, despite that the church could only draw small numbers of LGBTQ parishioners. She had no interest in ministries to kids and youth, so I had to leave as a single parent. A gay couple with a baby girl also left, and the church settled on focusing on pet ministries instead.
In conclusion, I enjoy diversity. If a group looks too much like me, or has an alpha leader trying to recreate everyone in their image, I head for the exits. Put another way, there are two groups of people in the world: those who see two groups of people in the world, and those that don't. Count me in the latter.

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RE:Homophobia in the Chatroom

We were just naked guys and our orientations were irrelevant.
At the spa, I have also experienced this.
I respect all, regardless of their sexual preference. Having bias toward others for any reason is sad, unless they are disrespectful to others for for no other reason other than what they feel inside. Or perhaps they're just mean and hateful!
Be free to be who you are, but don't express your bias around me or the conversation is likely to be a short one.
Perhaps the day will come when we don't need titles (because they don't matter) and we can all just be human beings, accepting others for who they are and what they feel and believe, without the need for designations.

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RE:Homophobia in the Chatroom

As I see it, there are a few interconnected issues here.

My sense is that the vast majority of members arent actually real life naturists and the frequently opinionated and dictatorial posts and replies here are often completely out of step with the easygoing and openminded attitudes Ive encountered among real life naturists.

Many of the more negative nudists on this site seem obsessed with a rather oldfashioned fixation with totally separating nudism from sex. Of course there are reasons behind this which we all understand - but in my opinion on this site this often goes too far and becomes ridiculous. Are we really supposed to pretend we naturists or so-called truenudists are all asexual? Perhaps that explains the so called greying of nudism? As nudists are all asexual and male naturists cant have erections its no wonder theyre a dying breed! LOL

From my personal contact with my sons and their generation it seems to me that younger generations see how ridiculous these attitudes are and are repelled by them. So I expect future naturism will be less tolerant of phobic dictates and will be predominantly outside of organised clubs etc unless those clubs relinquish their attachment to outdated attitudes which are all too often bigoted and offensive..

Naturism needs to embrace the fact that younger generations are much more relaxed about sexuality and sex. Somebody identifying as any orientation is cool. Sex isnt a taboo subject so it isnt unmentionable or shamed.

The problematic attitudes and behaviours described in the OP are so outdated as to deserve ridicule. I have enjoyed great naked times with friends of all sexual orientations - in the best of those times part of the enjoyment was being able to be emotionally as well as physically naked. Weve chatted about everything ( including sex ) openly and celebrated each others personalities and sexual orientations as well as bodies. But we didnt choose each other as nude companions based on sexuality or any other such criteria.

For that reason my profile here doesnt include my sexual orientation because it's irrelevant. It also doesnt include my income level or occupation - if someone would use those criteria to decide whether or not they want to interact with me Im not interested in their friendship anyway! Thats said when Ive been socialising with other nudies in person all those things can be discussed. often with life-enhancing openness!

Lets remember that any phobia is an ILLOGICAL fear and the issues raised that are being used to separate good nudist people are illogical!

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RE:Homophobia in the Chatroom

FFS what the hell does it matter what is discussed in the chatrooms, as long as everyone is supposedly respectful, then I say to those who are being assholes, just grow the F up.

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