Homophobia in the Chatroom

If someone even dares to mention they are anything other than straight in the chatroom, they are immediately chastised for it. They will have more than one person jump on them telling them "NO-ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION!"

Ok so some people really don't care about sexual orienation at all, I'm one of thse people. I will simply read it when someone says they are gay or bisexual and just ignore it, I don't really have an opinion either way because it doesn't make any difference to me, it neither negatively or positively impacts my existence. That's literally the defintion of not caring about sexual orientation.

If you're having to make a point about how little you care about sexual orientation, to the point where you feel the need to type in BLOCK CAPITAL LETTERS: "NO-ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION", that suggests that actually you care quite a lot about the fact that someone has had the nerve to mention that they are bisexual or gay.

If it's not an issue, then why do these people make such an issue out of it? There is no rule anywhere, either in the chatroom rules or the terms of service that says a person cannot mention their sexual orientation. There is a rule that says "No sexual discussion" but simply mentioning your orientation whatever it may be doesn't break that rule at all. Saying you're gay doesn't mean you're trying to have cybersex with the entire chatroom or even just one person in the chatroom.

Now if it were just one or two regular usrrs who had a problem, that's one thing. When it's two chatroom moderators who are making up chatroom rules as they go along, that's quite another. One chatroom moderator "Rosey" recently told a friend of mine that she wasn't allowed to ask someone if they were gay. Nothing about that in the rules but apparently it's not allowed.

More recently CplMoe71 made an issue out of the non-issue of mentioning sexual orientation with an all block capitals warning to a user for mentioning something which no-one cares about (screenshot below):

So I ask again, if mentioning sexual orientation is not an issue, because no-one cares about it (remember?), then why do these people make such an issue out of it? The only conclusion I can come to, unless someone else has any other ideas, is that the people making an issue out of it whilst simultaneously not caring are actually rather homophobic and detest the idea that some people are slightly different to them.

I can't discuss this further with CplMoe71 as he kicked me out of the chatroom for asking him why he was making an issue out of a non-issue. So that seems to be his only solution, to abuse his powers to avoid answering awkward questions about why he has such a problem with people mentioning sexual orientation in the chatroom.

In short CplMoe71 was breaking a written rule: "Be nice, no rudity harrassing or trolling" and harrassing/flaming a user for mentioning sexual orientation in order to enforce a rule that doesn't even exist. Then he further abused his power and banned people from the chatroom for pointing this out.

It's worth noting CplMoe71 usues "Cpl" in his username to indicate he's part of a couple.... NO-ONE CARES THAT HE'S IN A STRAGHT RELATIONSHIP AND PART OF A COUPLE, NO-ONE CARES!! SO WHY DO WE NEED TO KNOW THIS?
I don't want or need an answer to the above question because I actually don't care, it really doesn't affect me. But I'm not going to fund this site while intolerance such as homophobia are allowed to go unchallenged. If moderators can't be impartial and tolerant of people then they really shouldn't be moderators.

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RE:Homophobia in the Chatroom

Someones sexual preference is their own business, it shouldnt matter to anyone else. You are free to be who you are and that is as it should be.

That being said, I used to use the chat room a few years back, I never once felt the need to mention the sex of the people I was attracted to. Thats just not why I was in the room.

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RE:Homophobia in the Chatroom

Someones sexual preference is their own business, it shouldnt matter to anyone else. You are free to be who you are and that is as it should be.That being said, I used to use the chat room a few years back, I never once felt the need to mention the sex of the people I was attracted to. Thats just not why I was in the room.

Well that's fine and that's your choice.

If you are, for example, an electrician and you went into the chatroom and said "Hi I'm an electrician" would you expect other users and moderators to flame you with "NO-ONE CARES IF YOU'RE AN ELECTRICIAN! WHY DO WE CARE THAT YOU'RE AN ELECTRCIAN? IT'S NOTHING TO DO WITH NUDISM, IT'S NOT APPRECIATED!" before getting a 24 hour chatroom ban?

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RE:Homophobia in the Chatroom

Thank you for posting this. I would like to think that homophobia was not something that I encountered in a nudist context....

No it probably isn't at actual nudst resorts. It happens here though, which is why I've started screenshotting various incidents of ths. It can't be allowed to continue.

CplMoe71 recently told me that the rule of thumb is this: "RULE of THUMB. If you don't do it in public.... DO NOT do it here...". Clearly he's talking absolute bullshIt, because there's no way it would be tolerated if he walked up to a person and screamed in their face that "NO-ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR SEXUALITY. IT'S NOT APPRECIATED! STOP TALKING ABOUT YOUR SEXUALITY!" If he tried that in real life anywhere (nudist resort or not), he would be swiftly escorted off site for harrassment. It's even one of the written chatroom rules to not harrass other users, and yet I've got proof that's exactly what he does, and then abuses his power in order to enforce rules that don't even exist.

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RE:Homophobia in the Chatroom

Just playing the Devil's advocate here.

1, This is a nudist site not a sex site. So why the need to bring up your preference?

2, Does it automatically make you a homophobe if you are sick and tired of the "Loud, Proud, and In Your Face" crap? My niece was all busted up because the family was not excited as she was about her life style choice. I sat her down and talked to her about being a normal person and dropping that loud and proud crap around the family, and the way the older crowd was raised to believe about this subject. She toned it down and now gets along fine with everybody.

3, So this whole thing might have been avoidable if someone had not felt the need to bring up something better left unsaid. But that would not be acceptable to the ME,ME,ME generation would it?

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RE:Homophobia in the Chatroom

I rarely identify myself as gay. But as I'm a male, and married to a man, that can lead to odd misunderstandings, since the assumption is that everyone is straight. My partner's name isn't plainly gendered, so the assumptions and the reality can veer pretty far apart for a remarkably long time. That assumption system - all the hippopotamus dancing in the cartoon are male, unless they're wearing pearls and lipstick, all the married men are married to women, all the faceless usernames are of white people - gets old. Yes, if you are a straight, white, male then all those assumptions work for you, feel completely natural, and produce no surprises, so why would you ever specify? But if one is a person the general assumptions don't apply to (and this is most of us, actually), then the choice is either to wait for the little surprise to come up at some random point, or to get ahead of it and proceed with more clarity. Offering a brief description of oneself isn't "pride", or confrontation. Its a perfectly conventional introductory strategy and conversation-starter. If it really bothers you, your politics are showing.

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RE:Homophobia in the Chatroom

1, This is a nudist site not a sex site. So why the need to bring up your preference?

No one said it was a sex site apart from you, and no-one said there was a need to bring it up. There's no need to mention any aspect of your life in the chatroom, so if you're advocating a chatroom where only people say things they absolutely need to say then no-one would be able to say anything to each other, since every internet chatroom is recreational and therefore there is no actual need to say anything. You need to breathe oxygen and take in sustenance to stay alive, Internet chatrooms are totally optional.

2, Does it automatically make you a homophobe if you are sick and tired of the "Loud, Proud, and In Your Face" crap?

Well I guess that depends on exatly why you are so sick of the "Loud, Proud, and In Your Face" crap doesn't it, care to elaborate? If it's because you're scared of people saying they are gay or bisexual then that's fine, it's ok for you to be homophobic, some people just are homophobic, as long as you make absolurely sure you tone it down and only ever do it in the privacy of your own home where no-one can hear your abhorrent bin-fire of opinions then you're not harming anyone else.

My niece was all busted up because the family was not excited as she was about her life style choice.

It's not a lifestyle choice. She didn't choose to be the way she is, she just is. I'm assuming you're heterosexual, when exactly did you make this choice? Answer, you didn't.

I sat her down and talked to her about being a normal person and dropping that loud and proud crap around the family, and the way the older crowd was raised to believe about this subject. She toned it down and now gets along fine with everybody.

Great so she can't be who she normally is around her family because otherwise they hate her. I'm sure she's so much happier now she has to pretend to be someone else.

3, So this whole thing might have been avoidable if someone had not felt the need to bring up something better left unsaid. But that would not be acceptable to the ME,ME,ME generation would it?

The fact you think it's "better left unsaid" means it's your issue, not anyone else's. Why are you ramming your homophobia down everyone else's throat? What gives you the right to do that?

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RE:Homophobia in the Chatroom

Just playing the Devil's advocate here.1, This is a nudist site not a sex site. So why the need to bring up your preference?

The sexual preference appears in all profiles even in your profile main page. If this is an issue you must ask to remove it and only allow people to create profiles with name and age and education.

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RE:Homophobia in the Chatroom

Well that's fine and that's your choice.If you are, for example, an electrician and you went into the chatroom and said "Hi I'm an electrician" would you expect other users and moderators to flame you with "NO-ONE CARES IF YOU'RE AN ELECTRICIAN! WHY DO WE CARE THAT YOU'RE AN ELECTRCIAN? IT'S NOTHING TO DO WITH NUDISM, IT'S NOT APPRECIATED!" before getting a 24 hour chatroom ban?

My point was, if you enter a chat room for nudists and then declare to a room of strangers that you are gay/straight/other then Im not surprised you were banned.

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RE:Homophobia in the Chatroom

My point was, if you enter a chat room for nudists and then declare to a room of strangers that you are gay/straight/other then Im not surprised you were banned.

1: I wasn't banned for saying it. I was banned when I defended someone else who said it after he was set upon by a user and also a moderator. I told them to stop harassing said user (which actually does break one of the written chatroom rules: No harassment) in order to enforce a rule that doesn't exist.

2: You've avoided my other question completely. If you announced you were an electrician in the chatroom, would you expect to get a 24 hour ban for it, since "no-one cares"?

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RE:Homophobia in the Chatroom

I didnt avoid it, Ive never announced to a nudist chat room that Im a builder either. (I am)

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