RE:Bisexuality

LisaL5 wrote:

After we got back we both claimed we had enjoyed our experiment but would return to monogamy.

That's my point. There is no strict demarcation between straight and gay. And you never really know where you fall on the spectrum until you try it out and see how it feels to you. My first experience with gay sex didn't go well, because as soon as I got naked with my potential lovers, I had a panic attack. Years later, I was able to associate that experience with a time when I was molested as a child, and realize where the reaction came from. But the point is that I tried, and learned something about my sexuality that I didn't know before.

Now I'm totally straight, but if the opportunity came again, I might not panic this time. But I don't see that happening any time soon, since I'm a regular blood donor, and in my state any gay sex would disqualify me for that.

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RE:Bisexuality

If he had been performing cunnilingus, rimming a male or female anus, or any other sexual activity, I would suspect the outside activity loosenening the aura around the marriage has an effect Once that happens, when there is a disagreement, tension, or a full opportunity to cheat sexually, the loss of a boundary may make it easier.

Interesting thread. I went all in for the concept of marriage for life, only to have my wife inform me that her friends told her I wasn't what she had signed up for. She become "unfaithful" by losing faith in me and redefining marriage as a "for better or even better" proposition. Neither of wavered sexually, though mental health was another issue.

There's an inherent tension between your spouse's growth, your growth as a couple and your independent growth. Honoring sexuality is one small part of it. I've seen a lot of couples grow apart over financial and status differences. Perhaps the difference in getting out there and licking others' genitals, cars, travel or real estate is negligible if you're on different paths.

Therefore, I give little credence to orientation labels and think that defining "life phase partner" leads to better outcomes, at least when parenting is not part of the equation.

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RE:Bisexuality

I think it is complicated to pigeonhole people and label them as one thing. Plus if you love someone you learn to accept things and understand the changes life brings. Not many people are pure this or not at all that.

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RE:Bisexuality

CodeBare wrote:

FWIW, not anymore. You need to have it have been 3 months since your last sexual encounter with another man.

When I last donated, the question was "Have you had sex with a male at any time?" without the qualifier. But If I had said yes, then the following question might have had that qualifier. I'll ask next time I donate. (But, as I said earlier, I've never had the attraction to men that I've had to women.)

As for people's comment on how "life partner" should be recast as "life phase partner," I'm reminded of a quote which I think might have been by Oscar Wilde: "A man marries a woman thinking she'll never change, but of course she does. A woman marries a man thinking she can change him, and of course she never can."

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RE:Bisexuality

Or polyamory? Depends how complicated we want to make it.

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RE:Bisexuality

In our case I have tried being with other women and while enjoyed myself I have decided to remain straight. When I revealed it to my partner he admitted some desire to see what being with another man woukd be like, or sharing one with me. I am fine with either, even turned on by the possibility.

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RE:Bisexuality

Our relationship has been and still is very stable. I've enjoyed sex with another man and my wife knew about it but she has never had a desire to be with another female. My male encounters started with another male 'accidentally' falling out of my wife and slipping into my mouth while I was licking them together. My wife knew that this happened but didn't care when in other MFM's I would enjoy the other man occasionally. We both are very comfortable with out sexuality and stable marriage. All of the outside encounters for both of us were for the enjoyment and appreciation of the human body that could be had. There were plenty of opportunities for my wife to enjoy another female in the FMF's but she never acted upon it. I respected her decision and she recognized and respected my likes as well.
We have been happily married for 50+ years and still enjoy and respect each other just as much as the day we were married.

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