Bromance SP
The relationship between two guys, heterosexual or a bit homo, it doesnt matter. It is a deep understanding of friendship for one another, that counts complicity and who has more affection, even if it manages jokes about being gay or not ... this is not the point. The most important thing is the support it offers to one another. Do you believe that? Did you have the chance to live like a...
- created by felixsoutham
Barriers to Bromance and Deeper Connections?
Return to DiscussionsI am really excited to find this group and to connect with other guys open to deeper friendships and connections. I have wanted something like this for a while, but wasn't sure where to start. While I am still starting this exploration, I have found there to be many barriers to these kinds of relationships and was curious if others have had the same experience. These barriers include:
1) Offending a buddy - talking about anything deeper or more emotional, anything outside of "safe topics," runs the risk of offending a buddy who is a good friend but not intetested in that level of connection. This is my biggest barrier.
2) Lack of emotional tools - even if a buddy wants to go deeper with a friemdship, many ot us lack the tools to go there because men (in many societies) are taught to be stoic and unconnected.
3) Fear of Judgement - even if the interest and tools are there, a bromance runs the risk of being judged in multiple ways, which may be a barrier to something deeper.
4) Lack of rolemodels - bromances can look so many different ways (I imagine), but I am aware of so few examples of this in popular culture. This may be limiting in some way.
Do these barriers to a solid bromance resonate? Are there others you have encountered?
The barriers you cite are real. However, they're more theoretical than cast in stone.
I remember when I was in my 20's and I had a bud my age I hung out with. Then like now I found it best to hike or work on projects from construction to cooking together. We were out hiking on a warm summer day in an abandoned, isolated area with quarries. I got hot and told him I wanted to cool off and spontaneously stripped naked and went for a dip. A few minutes later I got out to air dry and I noticed he sat pensive scrunched over looking at the ground. I checked in with him and he told me I had triggered his anxiety by getting naked, reminding him of sexual abuse as a child. He wasn't angry or blaming but struggling nonetheless. Once I was dressed, we could talk it through, get him back and move on stronger than when we started. Our friendship eventually faded for other reasons, but I felt that the experience of hiking together and dealing with a trauma, psychologically though it was, helped to strengthen a bond. It's a one day at a time endeavor with the most important part being to keep showing up.