Male Bonding2
For those who like to explore the concept and dynamics of male bonding. Men are socialized in different ways in different societies, and so many men would like to have close male friendships, yet after spending time establishing a career, primary relationship and live in general, find themselves without close male friends. Many of us want male friends with whom we can share openly without...
- created by AZdesertman
Straight men who have sex with men
Return to DiscussionsHey brothers!
First, Happy New Year! I hope everyone had great holidays, whatever you celebrate, and wish you all nothing but the very best for 2017, including great health, happiness, prosperity and plenty of naked time and male friends!!!
A guy I know from my gym and I were chatting and he sent me this article that I thought was very interesting, thought-provoking and that brought up a few issues that I could related to. Check it out:
https://nymag.com/scienceofus/2016/12/why-straight-rural-men-have-gay-bud-sex-with-each-other.html
As I read it, I thought of many conversations I've seen in this group as well as some I've had with some of you individually.
Stay naked and find a new male friend this year!!!
Scott
Moderator
It is interesting how many guys here say how "labels suck" or that labels don't mean much because the LGBT community is much more mainstream now but these very much not straight men who have sex with men choose to continue to want to self identify as "straight". However these men want to spin it (reinforcing their heterosexuality, bullshit alert!), they actively want the straight label. This really just shows how much straight privilege there is in today's society. How nice it must be to maintain straight privilege and get your man sex too.
I counted 17 uses of gay and only 6 of "bi" or "bisexual" in the article. I find it very disconcerting that an article about men married to women who have sex with men refers to this as "gay" when they are bisexual. Big difference. My boyfriend is gay, he will not go near a vagina. Me, I like em.
These types of men, and this article, contribute greatly to bi-erasure. Quite frankly, if these men have long-term enjoy sex and relationship with their wife AND enjoy a friendship and sex with a friend, they are members of the Bi+ community whether they want to identify with the community or not. If it seems like I am waving my pink,lavender, and blue flag, well in an age where straights and gays try to erase the Bi+ community I kind of have to.
It is interesting how many guys here say how "labels suck" or that labels don't mean much because the LGBT community is much more mainstream now but these very much not straight men who have sex with men choose to continue to want to self identify as "straight". However these men want to spin it (reinforcing their heterosexuality, bullshit alert!), they actively want the straight label. This really just shows how much straight privilege there is in today's society. How nice it must be to maintain straight privilege and get your man sex too.I counted 17 uses of gay and only 6 of "bi" or "bisexual" in the article. I find it very disconcerting that an article about men married to women who have sex with men refers to this as "gay" when they are bisexual. Big difference. My boyfriend is gay, he will not go near a vagina. Me, I like em.These types of men, and this article, contribute greatly to bi-erasure. Quite frankly, if these men have long-term enjoy sex and relationship with their wife AND enjoy a friendship and sex with a friend, they are members of the Bi+ community whether they want to identify with the community or not. If it seems like I am waving my pink,lavender, and blue flag, well in an age where straights and gays try to erase the Bi+ community I kind of have to.
Well said, i agree.
Also i don't understand why some people have a problem with "labels". I mean, aren't "labels" our identities?
Who would we be without them?
Im with you, lets keep waving the flag more, eventually every sexuality will be treated equally i hope.
Looking back it seems we are heading in the right direction.
male nude bonding doesnt have to be sexual--hugs,pats on the back,hand shaking and just hanging out talking an dbeing friendly and respectful is beautiful way to share male masculine energy and male companionship-community/ thank you
NOTE: Remove the "s" from https: to access the article.
Hyphenated sexuality is a relatively modern concept, with the word homosexual appearing in the 1860s with the rise of industrialization and the gay concept of a sexually defined lifestyle emerging more out of the 1960s. Now prefixed sexuality is growing with an increasing array of options along with awareness. Overall, we're just looking at a blink in the history of civilization. It doesnt mean men didnt have sexual encounters outside of marriage, but more likely that it was normative and just thought (if not talked) about as part of being a sexual man. In comparison some may be left-handed but that doesnt mean they are struggling for lefthandedism.
For those who have been repressed lacking a normative identity I celebrate the terms, but in many cases its more about others putting men into boxes than for the men themselves. Women dont seem take their adulthood as seriously and share this burden. So I say let the demographers demographicize and let the rest of us say boys too just want to have fun. Sexuality is a gift, so why look a gift horse in the mouth unless we are all sexual horse traders?
Being Bi-sexual as I understand it - means being able to be sexually attracted and intimate with both sexes - That means either - not requiring both. So a Bi man married to a woman - who cheats with a guy is no different than a straight guy that cheats with another woman -
Assuming we are talking about a traditional marriage with traditional values you have chosen that partner - and agreed to deny yourself sexual expression with everyone else - the fact that you have both genders to pick from. This just means that you more to pick from to get married to and more to be tempted when you get tired of whoever you married
This notion that bi-sexuals have separate needs for male and female sexual intimacy is bullshit.
Ricky
After scrolling through this thread, I just wanted to provide my two cents. Disclosure: I scrolled through and did not read through every post thoroughly, so if this has already been addressed, I apologize.
I am a 25 year old male, and I don't claim any sexual orientation unless I'm forced to (like on here). I believe that we're evolving past it as a society. Separation by gender is seemingly being eliminated, and it is now (by some, more and more daily) being seen on a spectrum. I am a human who is sexually attracted to other humans. In this day and age, a human being can be born one way, and indenting with another, blurring the lines of what gender has meant. With that being said, I think this specific article is proof of that in many ways. "Straight" men can have sexual experiences with other men, and women as well, because gender is irrelevant. We're the same species, and that's it. Anyway, this is what I think and I am in no way trying to persuade anyone to agree with me. The evolution of sexuality in humanity is really interesting and constantly changing, and I for one am excited to see that.
I seem to be unable to connect to the server to read the article. Anyone else experience that problem. Was looking forward to reading it too.Edited:Got it now, googled for the article and got there that way,thanks for the heads up
You can also copy and paste the link at the start of this topic and then remove the "s" in https: Then the link will work.