Male Bonding2

For those who like to explore the concept and dynamics of male bonding. Men are socialized in different ways in different societies, and so many men would like to have close male friendships, yet after spending time establishing a career, primary relationship and live in general, find themselves without close male friends. Many of us want male friends with whom we can share openly without...

How do you effect change?

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If you are self aware enough to notice less than desirable charater traits about yourself, how do you go about changing them?
I claim to be an expert in a couple of things, but I think the only thing I'm really truly expert at is procrastination, ugh.

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RE: How do you effect change?

There are too many things about myself that I don't like but I wont make an effort to change them. Most of them are things that no one has any idea about, just me.

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RE: How do you effect change?


This topic is time appropriate for me as the winds of change are
coming for me. We live in a changing world and sometime we
just need to move out of our comfort zone and not look back.
Change is really what molds and shapes us so we can grow.
There is always growing pains but without it we became stale
and complacent.

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RE: How do you effect change?

Self improvement is very important. Those who can continuously work on themselves (instead of only trying to fix others who don't want help) have this distinction from mediocre folks. I'm not good at introspection and it usually takes someone else to point out an issue, a concern or opportunity for improvement. I do know that if you want to effect real change especially major changes accountability is required. This means a trusted person that will help you get started and check on your progress frequently. Being accountable to yourself only is not enough in many cases.

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RE: How do you effect change?

Things that affect only me tend to take time to fix - but gets done eventually. As for other changes - I am lucky to have a couple of friends who are not slow at all when it comes to letting me know everything they don't like about me ... so I get strong hints what they think I should focus on ... if it increases my comfort zone - I might go for it ...

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RE: How do you effect change?

I think all of us have some demons of some sort that lurk in the deep recesses of our brains... The first step is recognizing they are there which can be very difficult, and the second is doing something about it. I personally see a psychologist to talk about it, and I have many resources now to recognize when one of those demons pops up and how to avoid its return and calm myself. I use deep breathing exercises which are very simple and very effective, introspection via meditation or just being still and breathing and listening to my heart beat. I know Yoga is a huge stress and anxiety reducer. I also work out at the gym, which is good for me and when I finish I feel like a different person. I think that different things work for different people...you just have to try a lot of options before you find what works for you. It took me a while, but feel I'm finally effecting change in me and how I view and treat others in my life.The best of luck to all of you!

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RE: How do you effect change?

Its important to see ourselves for who we are rather than
imagining ourselves as something else.
This awareness seems obvious but is huge to change things. When we see our naked selves and accept it
as who we are, we can take steps to change this with actions. Its also good to share this with others for
honest feedback and encouragement along the way.

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