TH
thomasstierneyصاحب المنشور
Jun 6, 2012One night I went to a local bar and asked the very pretty barmaid
"Where have you been all my life?"
She smiled and replied, "For the first half of it, I wasn't born yet."
"Where have you been all my life?"
She smiled and replied, "For the first half of it, I wasn't born yet."
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- THthomasstierneyصاحب المنشورApr 26, 2013“Money isn't everything...but it ranks right up there with oxygen.â€
~Rita Davenportتفاعلرد - MA
Apr 26, 2013A wise man should have money in his head, but not in his heart.
Jonathan Swift.تفاعلرد - THthomasstierneyصاحب المنشورApr 26, 2013Money may not buy happiness, but I'd rather cry in a Jaguar than on a bus.
~Francoise Saganتفاعلرد - THthomasstierneyصاحب المنشورApr 27, 2013My ex and I were not talking, again! I left her a note saying, "Please wake me at 5 a.m.".
I woke up at 9 a.m. She was gone, but she had left a note. It read, "It is 5 a.m., wake up."تفاعلرد - MAApr 27, 2013My wife said I kept her awake with my snoring all night. I said that " that wasn't me, it was my girlfriend "تفاعلرد
- THthomasstierneyصاحب المنشورApr 27, 2013A question for the ladies: 'If women are so perfect at multitasking, how come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time?'تفاعلرد
- MAApr 27, 2013The world's first one-liner - "Stand back Eve - I don't know how big this is gonna get."تفاعلرد
- THthomasstierneyصاحب المنشورApr 27, 2013Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.تفاعلرد
- MAApr 27, 2013A poor man may not have a butler, but he can have as many maids as he wants.تفاعلرد
- THthomasstierneyصاحب المنشورApr 28, 2013The word "listen" contains the same letters as the word "silent".تفاعلرد
- THthomasstierneyصاحب المنشورApr 30, 2013Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day;
teach him to use the a computer and he won't bother you for weeks.تفاعلرد - MAApr 30, 2013The only reason your husband likes to go fishing so much is that it's the only time he hears someone tell him, "Wow, that's a big one !"تفاعلرد
- THthomasstierneyصاحب المنشورMay 1, 2013I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone.تفاعلرد
- THthomasstierneyصاحب المنشورMay 2, 2013Once upon a time, one day long,
long ago, there lived a woman who
did not whine, nag or complain...
But this was a long time ago...
and it was just one day.تفاعلرد - THthomasstierneyصاحب المنشورMay 4, 2013Be careful whose toes you step on today, they might be attached to the ass you have to kiss tomorrow.تفاعلرد
- MAMay 4, 2013The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.تفاعلرد
- THthomasstierneyصاحب المنشورMay 4, 2013One reason the Military Services have trouble operating jointly is that they don't speak the same language.
For example, if you told Navy personnel to "secure a building,"
They would turn off the lights and lock the doors.
The Army would occupy the building so no one could enter.
Marines would assault the building, capture it, and defend it with suppressive fire and close combat.
The Air Force, on the other hand, would take out a three-year lease with an option to buy.تفاعلرد