TH
thomasstierneyصاحب المنشور
Jun 6, 2012One night I went to a local bar and asked the very pretty barmaid
"Where have you been all my life?"
She smiled and replied, "For the first half of it, I wasn't born yet."
"Where have you been all my life?"
She smiled and replied, "For the first half of it, I wasn't born yet."
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- THthomasstierneyصاحب المنشورMay 22, 2013I wake up every day planning to be productive and then a voice in my head says "ha-ha good one" and we laugh and laugh and take a nap.تفاعلرد
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May 22, 2013Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?تفاعلرد - THthomasstierneyصاحب المنشورMay 22, 201350 Miss' America have 100 boobs. Each of the 50 states has 2 Senators each. Co-incidence?تفاعلرد
- MAMay 22, 2013The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.تفاعلرد
- NUMay 22, 2013Rush Hour = more than an hour to get through it
Fast Food = what is fast about it, always have to wait for 10 minutes to get your food and all i ordered was a pop
Minute Lube = takes more than a minute to change my oil and lube my truck
High Speed and Digital internet and cable = there is a differenceتفاعلرد - THthomasstierneyصاحب المنشورMay 22, 2013Once there was a little red man, who lived in a little red house in a little red neighbourhood. Every morning he got out of his little red bed, went down his little red stairs and made his little red breakfast. Upon finishing his little red breakfast, he would make his way back up his little red stairs into his little red bathroom and turn on his little red shower. Stripping down to his little red bare self, he then hopped in his little red shower.
One morning in particular at this time there came a knock on his little red door. So he jumped out of his little red shower, put on his little red towel and raced down his little red stairs to open up his little red door, only to find a green avon lady standing there. At that point a gust of wind blew his little red towel off and onto his little red floor. The green avon lady gasped in horror at what she saw, turned around quickly, ran across the road and got hit by a truck.........
And the moral of the story is?
DON'T cross the street whilst the little red man is flashing!تفاعلرد - THthomasstierneyصاحب المنشورMay 23, 2013Why isn't there a middle finger emoticon? I swear I would use it 99% of the time.تفاعلرد
- MAMay 23, 2013[quote]Why isn't there a middle finger emoticon? I swear I would use it 99% of the time.[/quote][img src="http://www.jerriehurd.com/wp-content/uploads/et_temp/th_Funny_finger_justforyou-5650_147x147.gif">تفاعلرد
- THthomasstierneyصاحب المنشورMay 23, 2013I really hate that rejected feeling you get when you hold a baby and it starts to cry.تفاعلرد
- THthomasstierneyصاحب المنشورMay 25, 2013No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.تفاعلرد
- MAMay 26, 2013If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.تفاعلرد
- THthomasstierneyصاحب المنشورMay 26, 2013The only reason I take my wife anywhere is so I don't have to kiss her goodbye.تفاعلرد
- MAMay 26, 2013If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books.تفاعلرد
- THthomasstierneyصاحب المنشورMay 26, 2013Q: What do you call a Florida gynecologist?
A: A spreader of old wives' tails.تفاعلرد - MAMay 26, 2013Why do women close their eyes during sex?
They can’t stand seeing a man have a good time.تفاعلرد - MAMay 26, 2013I was such an ugly kid… when I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.تفاعلرد
- THthomasstierneyصاحب المنشورMay 27, 2013Ladies, if a man says he will fix something, he'll fix it. There's no need to remind him every six months.تفاعلرد
- THthomasstierneyصاحب المنشورMay 27, 2013The best thing about the good old days is I wasn't good and I wasn't old.تفاعلرد
- MAMay 27, 2013My wife said that she was leaving me because I always exaggerate. I was so shocked I almost tripped over my penis.تفاعلرد