TH
thomasstierneyAutor original
Jun 6, 2012One night I went to a local bar and asked the very pretty barmaid
"Where have you been all my life?"
She smiled and replied, "For the first half of it, I wasn't born yet."
"Where have you been all my life?"
She smiled and replied, "For the first half of it, I wasn't born yet."
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- THthomasstierneyAutor originalJan 11, 2017
Sometimes when I leave home for a while I leave a key under the doormat, not for my house.
ReaccionarResponder - THthomasstierneyAutor originalJan 12, 2017Facebook, Twitter, Flicker, Skype, Telephone, Cell Phone, Email, Voice mail, Fax Machine, Instant Messages, PDA. So many great ways to ignore people.ReaccionarResponder
- THthomasstierneyAutor originalJan 13, 2017When life gives you lemons, make orange juice and leave them wondering how the hell you did it.ReaccionarResponder
- THthomasstierneyAutor originalJan 14, 2017They say that drinking beer will dehydrate you. I say, "Only if you stop.ReaccionarResponder
- THthomasstierneyAutor originalJan 15, 2017[strong]You know what would be a great invention? A smoke alarm that would turn off when I yell, "Hey! I'm cooking here".[/strong]ReaccionarResponder
- KO
Jan 17, 2017Negligeewas an adjective before it became a word for a woman's nighttime garment. It was originally applied to a person who was not revealingly dressed, butnegligentlydressed.;-))ReaccionarResponder - THthomasstierneyAutor originalJan 18, 2017The difference between the U.S. Supreme Court and the Ku Klux Klan is that the members of the Supreme Court dress in black robes and scare white people.ReaccionarResponder
- KOJan 18, 2017It's been said that a lie can make it halfway around the world before the truth can get it's pants on. Maybe that can help explain the origin of the phrase*The Naked Truth*...:-))ReaccionarResponder
- THthomasstierneyAutor originalJan 19, 2017During a lull in the rehearsal the groom and best man, two longtime friends and playboys, began to compare conquests. The groom, looking out over the crowd, said to his best man, "You know Bill, except for my wife to be, my two sisters and my mother, i've made love to every woman in this room." To which his friend responded, "Well then, between the two of us we've had them all!"ReaccionarResponder
- THthomasstierneyAutor originalJan 22, 2017I became a professional fisherman... But discovered I couldn't live on my net income.ReaccionarResponder
- THthomasstierneyAutor originalJan 25, 2017Tomorrow they are opening a time capsule we buried when I was a kid. I can't wait to see howbig my puppy is now.ReaccionarResponder
- THthomasstierneyAutor originalJan 31, 2017Japanese couple in an argument over ways of highly erotic sex Husband: Sukitaki. Wife replies: Kowanini! Husband says: Toka a anji rodi roumi yakoo! Wife on her knees literally begging: Mimi nakoundinda tinkouji! Husband replies angrily: Na miaou kina tim kouji!. Are you actually reading this stuff as if you understand Japanese?ReaccionarResponder
- THthomasstierneyAutor originalFeb 2, 2017You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the 3 R's, only one begins with an R.ReaccionarResponder
- THthomasstierneyAutor originalFeb 3, 2017There are Uber Drivers, There are Taxi Drivers, There are Limousine Drivers, There are Bus Drivers, There are Truck Drivers, There are Race Car Drivers, Why are Train Drivers called Engineers?ReaccionarResponder
- DE
Feb 4, 2017Isn't it strange that "Hang Tight" and Hang Loose" basically mean the same things?ReaccionarResponder - THthomasstierneyAutor originalFeb 5, 2017Then there was the young married woman who drove 50 miles just to get 6 inches away from home.ReaccionarResponder
- THthomasstierneyAutor originalFeb 16, 2017
I went to a strip mall the other day with my friend. Let me
tell you, I was disappointed. Everybody else had on clothes.ReaccionarResponder - NU
Feb 24, 2017Man cannot live by bread alone, unless he's locked in a cage and that's all you feed him.
ReaccionarResponder - THthomasstierneyAutor originalFeb 26, 2017Trumps wall will run along the Mexico border from the Pacific Ocean to the Gulf of Mexico.
Doesn't that mean that both ends are at the waters edge?
Does he think Mexicans can't swim?ReaccionarResponder - MA
Feb 26, 2017[quote]Trumps wall will run along the Mexico border from the Pacific Ocean to the Gulf of Mexico. Doesnt that mean that both ends are at the waters edge? Does he think Mexicans cant swim?[/quote]He's as stupid as the people who voted for him.ReaccionarResponder - LA
Feb 26, 2017And still wise enough to not care what people from other countries think.
ReaccionarResponder - THthomasstierneyAutor originalFeb 26, 2017[quote]And still wise enough to not care what people from other countries think.[/quote]Yeah, his foreign policy really sucks.ReaccionarResponder