TH
thomasstierney

Humor and Fun

Random thoughts and jokes

Publicado Jun 6, 2012

Respostas1438
TH
thomasstierney
thomasstierneyAutor original
Jun 6, 2012
One night I went to a local bar and asked the very pretty barmaid
"Where have you been all my life?"

She smiled and replied, "For the first half of it, I wasn't born yet."


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Respostas

  • TH
    thomasstierney
    thomasstierneyAutor original
    Feb 9, 2013
    How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
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  • MA
    ManOfWicklow
    Feb 9, 2013
    Funny thing how you first meet the woman that you marry. I first met the wife in a tunnel of love. She was digging it.
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  • TH
    thomasstierney
    thomasstierneyAutor original
    Feb 11, 2013
    I heard two politicians telling the truth on TV today. They were calling each other liars.
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  • MA
    ManOfWicklow
    Feb 11, 2013
    A politician was heard speaking the truth. It seems they will now do anything to confuse people.
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  • TH
    thomasstierney
    thomasstierneyAutor original
    Feb 12, 2013
    I dated a barmaid for a while. I'm not saying she's a slut, but they're probably gonna have to bury her in a Y-shaped coffin.





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  • OP
    openrange
    Feb 12, 2013
    i went to a concert at madison square garden nyc

    and saw theallman brothers~pulling into  a

    handicap parking zone......
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  • OP
    openrange
    Feb 12, 2013
    hall & oats are getting back together but under a differant name

    pushing wheat
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  • TH
    thomasstierney
    thomasstierneyAutor original
    Feb 13, 2013
    Don't you hate it when you exit out of Word and it asks you if you want to save any changes you made, and you're almost sure you didn't make any changes?
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  • MA
    ManOfWicklow
    Feb 13, 2013
    The secret of a happy life, is to have lots of wives, and never get married.
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  • TH
    thomasstierney
    thomasstierneyAutor original
    Feb 14, 2013
    Better days are coming they're called Saturday & Sunday.
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  • TH
    thomasstierney
    thomasstierneyAutor original
    Feb 14, 2013
    My ex was very touchy; I came home one night and noticed the house was spotless. All I said was, "Computer broke down?"
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  • TH
    thomasstierney
    thomasstierneyAutor original
    Feb 15, 2013
    I remember the first time someone called me "Sir" without adding, "You're making a scene."
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  • TH
    thomasstierney
    thomasstierneyAutor original
    Feb 16, 2013
    Men have feelings, too. For instance: I feel hungry.
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  • TH
    thomasstierney
    thomasstierneyAutor original
    Feb 18, 2013
    I just realized that my ex never had laryngitis. What a rip-off.
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  • MA
    ManOfWicklow
    Feb 18, 2013
    I should have known something was wrong when my ex said she wanted trial before marriage. The Judge gave me life.
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  • TH
    thomasstierney
    thomasstierneyAutor original
    Feb 18, 2013
    My ex would give me “the silent treatment”, she actually thought it was a punishment.
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  • TH
    thomasstierney
    thomasstierneyAutor original
    Feb 19, 2013
    I learned the secret of a happy life, is to have lots of wives, and never get married.
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  • MA
    ManOfWicklow
    Feb 19, 2013
    Made love to the wife for seven hours the other day. Poor woman was too exhausted for her husband that night.
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  • TH
    thomasstierney
    thomasstierneyAutor original
    Feb 19, 2013
    My ex asked what part of her I liked looking at best, her breasts or her butt?
    She wasn't happy when I said, "The top of your head."


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  • TH
    thomasstierney
    thomasstierneyAutor original
    Feb 21, 2013
    Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

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  • TH
    thomasstierney
    thomasstierneyAutor original
    Feb 22, 2013
    I just read a frightening statistic. 25% of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness. WOW! That means 75% are running around untreated.
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  • TH
    thomasstierney
    thomasstierneyAutor original
    Feb 23, 2013
    My ex told me to go out and get some of those pills that will help me get an erection. She was very unhappy when I tossed her some diet pills!
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  • TH
    thomasstierney
    thomasstierneyAutor original
    Feb 25, 2013
    A woman is like fine wine, I love 19 year old wine.
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  • TH
    thomasstierney
    thomasstierneyAutor original
    Feb 26, 2013
    I remember thinking, "You better not do this,  but I know about 8 people who I'm gonna tell."
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