Random thoughts and jokes - Humor and Fun on True Nudists

Jun 6, 2012

One night I went to a local bar and asked the very pretty barmaid
"Where have you been all my life?"

She smiled and replied, "For the first half of it, I wasn't born yet."

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ManOfWicklow
Apr 26, 2013
Friends and good manners will carry you where money won't go.
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thomasstierneyOriginal Poster
Apr 26, 2013
â€œMoney isn't everything...but it ranks right up there with oxygen.â€
~Rita Davenport
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ManOfWicklow
Apr 26, 2013
A wise man should have money in his head, but not in his heart.
Jonathan Swift.
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thomasstierneyOriginal Poster
Apr 26, 2013
Money may not buy happiness, but I'd rather cry in a Jaguar than on a bus.
~Francoise Sagan
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thomasstierneyOriginal Poster
Apr 27, 2013
My ex and I were not talking, again! I left her a note saying, "Please wake me at 5 a.m.".
I woke up at 9 a.m. She was gone, but she had left a note. It read, "It is 5 a.m., wake up."
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ManOfWicklow
Apr 27, 2013
My wife said I kept her awake with my snoring all night. I said that " that wasn't me, it was my girlfriend "
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thomasstierneyOriginal Poster
Apr 27, 2013
A question for the ladies: 'If women are so perfect at multitasking, how come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time?'
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ManOfWicklow
Apr 27, 2013
The world's first one-liner - "Stand back Eve - I don't know how big this is gonna get."
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thomasstierneyOriginal Poster
Apr 27, 2013
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
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ManOfWicklow
Apr 27, 2013
A poor man may not have a butler, but he can have as many maids as he wants.

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thomasstierneyOriginal Poster
Apr 28, 2013
The word "listen" contains the same letters as the word "silent".
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thomasstierneyOriginal Poster
Apr 30, 2013
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day;
teach him to use the a computer and he won't bother you for weeks.
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ManOfWicklow
Apr 30, 2013
The only reason your husband likes to go fishing so much is that it's the only time he hears someone tell him, "Wow, that's a big one !"

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thomasstierneyOriginal Poster
May 1, 2013
He who laughs last didn't get the joke.
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ManOfWicklow
May 1, 2013
Sometimes we know we shouldn't and thats exactly why we do.
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thomasstierneyOriginal Poster
May 1, 2013
I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone.
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ManOfWicklow
May 2, 2013
The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page.
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thomasstierneyOriginal Poster
May 2, 2013
Once upon a time, one day long,
long ago, there lived a woman who
did not whine, nag or complain...
But this was a long time ago...

and it was just one day.
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ManOfWicklow
May 3, 2013
Q: How do you get a nun pregnant?
A: Dress her up as an alter boy.

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thomasstierneyOriginal Poster
May 4, 2013
Five out of four people have problems with fractions.
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ManOfWicklow
May 4, 2013
Nothing can confound a wise man more than laughter from adunce.
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thomasstierneyOriginal Poster
May 4, 2013
Be careful whose toes you step on today, they might be attached to the ass you have to kiss tomorrow.
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ManOfWicklow
May 4, 2013
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.
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thomasstierneyOriginal Poster
May 4, 2013
One reason the Military Services have trouble operating jointly is that they don't speak the same language.
For example, if you told Navy personnel to "secure a building,"
They would turn off the lights and lock the doors.
The Army would occupy the building so no one could enter.
Marines would assault the building, capture it, and defend it with suppressive fire and close combat.
The Air Force, on the other hand, would take out a three-year lease with an option to buy.

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