TH
thomasstierneyOriginal Poster
Jun 6, 2012One night I went to a local bar and asked the very pretty barmaid
"Where have you been all my life?"
She smiled and replied, "For the first half of it, I wasn't born yet."
"Where have you been all my life?"
She smiled and replied, "For the first half of it, I wasn't born yet."
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- THthomasstierneyOriginal PosterJul 22, 2012Men have two emotions:
Hungry and Horny.
If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.ReactReply - MA
Jul 22, 2012[quote]Men have two emotions:
Hungry and Horny.
If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
[/quote]Or have a sausage between two buns.ReactReply - THthomasstierneyOriginal PosterJul 22, 2012SURPRISE sex is the BEST way to wake up...unless you're in prison.ReactReply
- THthomasstierneyOriginal PosterJul 23, 2012My ex kept bugging me to buy her a mink. Finally I said okay, on one condition. You'll have to clean the cage.ReactReply
- THthomasstierneyOriginal PosterJul 25, 2012You can always depend on a true friend to be honest with you. I hate that shit.ReactReply
- THthomasstierneyOriginal PosterJul 26, 2012A marriage counselor told my ex, "If you love him let him go, if he's smart he wont come back."ReactReply
- MAJul 26, 2012A middle-aged married couple filed a divorce and are currently fighting about a child custody in front of the judge. A woman presents all of her arguments to keep the child, including the famous sentences: I brought this child to the world. He grew inside me, I took care of him from the beginning.
But the man didnt give up, so judge asked him to provide arguments of his own. After a little thought he asked the judge: Your honor, if I put a quarter in a vending machine and a can of Pepsi comes out who is the owner of the can? Me or the machine.ReactReply - MAJul 27, 2012[quote]EDIT PLEASE
[/quote]A fact is that a circle of life should not be like it is at the moment. The path of life should go in the opposite direction as we know it from older years to birth (and beyond).
At first, anyone should experience death.
Then you should go to home of the elderly.
They would throw you out, because you would be too young.
You would start to collect your pension money, retire and start to work.
Then you would have to work for 40 years, until you are young enough to attend high school lectures.
During your study you would party hard all the time.
After you would become tired of it all, you would go to elementary school, and kinder garden afterward
When youd leave kinder garden, you would stay at home with your parents.
Now, theres nine months of luxury in front of you: All you can eat, central heating, sleeping all the time
And you would finish your existance with an orgasm.ReactReply - THthomasstierneyOriginal PosterJul 27, 2012Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.ReactReply
- MAJul 27, 2012[quote]Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
[/quote]You only ever have one birthday. After that, you have birthday anniversaries.ReactReply - THthomasstierneyOriginal PosterJul 27, 2012[quote][quote]Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
[/quote]You only ever have one birthday. After that, you have birthday anniversaries.[/quote]Not if you believe in re-incarnation.ReactReply - MAJul 27, 2012[quote][quote][quote]Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
[/quote]You only ever have one birthday. After that, you have birthday anniversaries.[/quote]Not if you believe in re-incarnation.
[/quote]I have a lot of deahead flowers in my garden.ReactReply - THthomasstierneyOriginal PosterJul 27, 2012I was always taught to respect my elders, but I haven't seen one lately.ReactReply
- THthomasstierneyOriginal PosterAug 1, 2012A computer kept beating me at chess, but not at kick boxing.ReactReply
- THthomasstierneyOriginal PosterAug 1, 2012All you need to know about men and women.
Women are crazy and men are stupid.
And the main reason women are crazy is because men are stupid.ReactReply - MAAug 1, 2012
[img src="http://qwertytutorials.com/misc/site_graphics/computer_airbag.jpg">
ReactReply - THthomasstierneyOriginal PosterAug 1, 2012Women going topless in New York has been legal since 1992,
but it is not accepted by all.
The problem is men are stupid.
"I didn't see the bus officer, I saw tits."ReactReply - THthomasstierneyOriginal PosterAug 3, 2012I just read a report that says 25% of women in this country
are on medication for mental illness, which is scary;
it means 75% are running around with no medication at all...!ReactReply - THthomasstierneyOriginal PosterAug 4, 2012I figured the honeymoon was pretty much over when I went out with the boys on Wednesday night, and so did she.ReactReply
- THthomasstierneyOriginal PosterAug 4, 2012I'm 85 years old today.
I have a problem.
I use to date women older than me,
but, there aren't any more left.ReactReply