I'd have to agree with the majority of posters here that things have gone too far, and in my opinion it's because both nudists and non-nudists often still equate nudism as being tied to sex or sexuality. We're sexual beings but because non-nudists often associate nudity with sex (and because we as nudists want so desperately to correct that way of thinking), we as a group have legitimatized excessive rules in trying to eliminate any behavior that might even remotely hint of sexuality or intimacy.
In an attempt to validate that we participate in non-sexual social nudity we've literally tried to sanitize every aspect of interaction we have with spouses and friends.
As long as physical interactions aren't sexual then they aren't bad. I would want to see spouses react to one another in a naturist setting just as they would interact as if they were in a grocery store or on a textile beach. Friends who would interact with one another in a specific way if they were playing volleyball in a public park should interact with one another the same way on a nude beach - a hug or a slap on the butt could be normal for this group and it's not being done in a sexual manner so it shouldn't be scrutinized as such. While I think when you first meet another nudist there is a more stringent and correct way to interact physically with someone, spouses and friends who interact physically with one another in a non-sexual manner shouldn't change the way they do based on whether they are naked or clothed.
I would say that we all do need to be cognizant of the fact that just as there are non-nudists who do not appreciate physical contact or have personal limits that there are nudists with the same personal preferences, and you have to know your friends. We all know who the "huggers" are in our lives and I assume we all have that one friend that hates to hug, but to remove all contact with those close to you (and whose thresholds you know) when you are in a nudist setting is not healthy and does nothing to promote the nudist lifestyle.
As for always acting like I'm in a 5-star hotel lobby when we're on a nude beach, I'm loathe to think that a man or woman at a nude beach shouldn't be able to lay back with their husband's or wife's head on their stomach or shoulder and enjoy the moment with one another, or that any one of us would be sexist enough to think that any gender would need to sit or lay in a specific position in order to keep nudism "respectable" to the outside world.
Nudism should be safe, but it should also feel natural and right now it doesn't always feel natural having to cross-reference some very archaic checkpoints on our self-imposed lists...
Let's not adopt rules that even many of those who wear clothes would scoff at. Violence and harassment should be banned and reported as the crimes they are. Also, we all have the Constitutional Right to look and or walk away. If someone is breastfeeding, most adults won't stare; if someone is cleaning their nose, most folks look away. A book and or headphones at a beach help keep the peace.
As for always acting like I'm in a 5-star hotel lobby when we're on a nude beach, ... ...
I apologise for not making it clear that I was equating a nudist resort to a hotel and in that context I was trying to differentiate respectable hotels from establishments such as the type of place which which lets rooms by the hour.
Behaviour on a textile beach is often different from behaviour elsewhere and I would expect the same behaviour on a nudist beach. I except, of course such stretches of beach as the notorious portion at Cal d'Agde.
Ive only been to one nudist resort, Valley View in Wisconsin and didnt care for it much because it felt very confining and the people werent friendly. I remember the main event was couples in their 60s silently bobbing on foam noodles in a small swimming pool. I didnt pay much attention to the written rules since the unwritten rules werent particularly inclusive or welcoming. As an overwhelmed but still boring single dad, Ive come across the rule that solo parents must have a written consent from the other parent if both parents are not attending. Do I need to call a lawyer or recruit a mom to bring my kids? Will they do a blood test to ensure paternity? On the other hand, Ive also heard of resorts with explicit sexual behavior out in the open.
There doesnt seem to be a happy middle ground for resorts between inactive vs. active in all the wrong ways or no touch or any touch, any where, any how. I like to hike but prioritize the trail over pants and understand resorts on the coasts would be better suited to me. In the meantime, I prefer hiking in shorts only in a state park. Given the etiquette and written or unwritten discrimination against males guilty of nudity by singlehood, nudist resorts, at least in the Midwest USA, are not a growth industry.
BUT, being treated like kids in a parochial school, isn't the answer. We're adults snd should be treated as such. There'll always be a few turds ruining it, but let's be real! I cant believe some of the crap that's been pushed on some people that I've seen at some nude resorts, or campgrounds. Very childish. But no, we adult's get treated like kids. It wasn't done to me, but had it, I cant believe that I could've kept quiet. I'm not the type who suffers in silence. Rules, we need them, but we need reasonable ones too. I guess my Catholic school upbringing and experience with nuns (I shudder), is still a sore subject.
As for always acting like I'm in a 5-star hotel lobby when we're on a nude beach, ... ...I apologise for not making it clear that I was equating a nudist resort to a hotel and in that context I was trying to differentiate respectable hotels from establishments such as the type of place which which lets rooms by the hour.Behaviour on a textile beach is often different from behaviour elsewhere and I would expect the same behaviour on a nudist beach. I except, of course such stretches of beach as the notorious portion at Cal d'Agde.
No apologies necessary and I may have taken that example to an extreme - bad on my part!
You all have made some very good points here, and there seems to be a broad agreement that so many of the rules in place aren't valid.
It occurs to me that many of these rules of etiquette are applied for 1 of 2 reasons: Either a nudist or nudists have crossed an invisible line and an organization wanted further moral definition to an existing rule of etiquette, or else these advanced rules were created not for nudists as a safeguard but instead to present a public statement that says that nudism is a safe albeit clinical lifestyle.
I truly think that so much of what is presented as The Rules of Etiquette at some resorts is more for external consumption and in place solely to "sanitize" the lifestyle for those not participating in it...
Hi, newbie here.
We have not been to an actual nudist resort, just clothing optional beaches and one sort of resort ( Nude Hotel, Zipolite ) with a very relaxed rules. Basically just the towel rule.
Everyone was still very civilized if you can believe that.
Anyway, we where contemplating checking out a resort in Palm springs this winter, prob still will, but so many rules .
We'll have to go and form our own opinion and "when in Rome ... " and hopefully be at a more relaxed place.
It makes doing what we do, finding our own private spots in the countryside around here and enjoying All the sun seem like the way to go. Unless you're a really social person I guess.
Anyway, Happy trails,.
And do what works best for you and yours.
... ... ... ... As an overwhelmed but still boring single dad, Ive come across the rule that solo parents must have a written consent from the other parent if both parents are not attending.... ... ... ...I wonder how a widow or widower deals with this?
I've also come across a case where a club who had a quota for single men as members expelled one man immediately after his wife died.