A bit of an update on my previous post.
After a week of working up the courage, I raised the topic of my bi sexuality with my wife one evening while sitting in bed.
Although she knew I had been with men before we were married, she was genuinely shocked, saying she thought it was in my past and all over.
She asked several questions about what it meant. I told her being bisexual for me at least, dosn't go away, but that I had repressed this side of me because she didn't understand it. I told her I wanted to be with her for always and wouldn't do anything to jeopardize that or betray her trust, but felt I had to get this out into the open. She wanted to know if this meant I wanted to have a full on relationship with a man alongside our marriage. I said I would imagine it being more of an occasional catch up with a man rather than a relationship. We discussed the type of sex I was interested in - oral and anal - and why I feeI I need it to feel whole.
She told me it would feel strange for her knowing I had had sex with a man, but she didn't want me feeling less than whole by not having it.
So that's where we are at the moment. She will take a week or two to think about it, to see if she can accept it. It just feels so good having discussed this with her, and who knows, she may come back and say she can accept it, and I am free to act on this side of me. In the mean time, we have become more affectionate with each other, hugs, kisses, touches etc, so that's great too!
Had another chat with my Wife last night.
With my heart pounding I asked her if she had thought about our discussion from the other night or needed more time. This led to another long and at times uncomfortable (for her) discussion. For some reason, once I had raised the topic again, I was totally relaxed and comfortable. I asked her lots of questions, she asked me lots of questions. Ultimately, for her the thought of 2 men engaging in sex was 'weird'. Strangely, when I asked her how she felt about 2 women having sex, she was more accepting. A bit of a double standard there, but I didn't question it.
The result?
Although she thought it was weird, she tried her best to understand it. She said she loved and trusted me, and if this was something I felt I needed to do, then I have her permission to go ahead. All she asked in return was for me to keep it honest. In other words, if I met a man and we decided to have sex, she wanted to know, but she was very clear she didn't want to know the details of the act.
So, there you go! I have permission to express this side of me! This has been such a relief for me, and underlines why I love my wife so much. I have totally underestimated her and as a result, out of fear I have lived with a heavy secret which was totally unnecessary.
Perhaps many of you reading this might be in the same boat. Maybe it's time to consider raising the topic with your Wife?
Good luck if you do!
I certainly relate to this topic.
I was fully hetero until my marriage ended about 20 years ago and I began frequenting naturist places like I had done as a young man. That's when I came into contact with guys who enjoyed mansex. They would hit on me and soon I responded. I could always get a wank when I needed one even though I continued to pursue women and had several affairs.
As I got older I had more difficulty in finding attractive women and I began to want more from men than just a wank. I was introduced to nipple play and spanking by men I met at naturist beaches. Through a BDSM website a met an experienced master who lifted my remaining hetero inhibitions and prepared me to enjoy more fully my encounters with men.
I don't think of myself as gay. I still love an attractive woman, but don't expect to meet one who fancies me. I'm as horny as ever, especially since I took up modelling. But now I'm fully committed to mansex. I love it.
Glad you enjoyed it. There are obviously a lot of older guys with similar experience. I believe older women have similar experiences - they start looking to other women for the sexual satisfaction they can no longer obtain from men.
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