When "reluctant wives/SO" turn nudist.
It's an old topic I like to revisit from time to time.
Many of us with "initially reluctant wives/SO" have stories about how they came to embrace nudism.
In some cases it's pretty instantaneous; as the moment they arrived on the beach or at the resort they immediately embraced social nudity.
In other cases it was more a "When in Rome" moment when they found themselves in the midst of nude people and eventually decided they "might as well be naked too."
Sometimes it's through personal rapport, where the spouse establishes a friendship/connection with other nudists; and them being comfortable nude around her motivates her to be nude around them.
And every so often it's because there is a woman/several nearby who is/are confidently naked; and she decides that "if she/they can do it, so can I."
Which is the most common path?
It's an old topic I like to revisit from time to time.Many of us with "initially reluctant wives/SO" have stories about how they came to embrace nudism.In some cases it's pretty instantaneous; as the moment they arrived on the beach or at the resort they immediately embraced social nudity.In other cases it was more a "When in Rome" moment when they found themselves in the midst of nude people and eventually decided they "might as well be naked too."Sometimes it's through personal rapport, where the spouse establishes a friendship/connection with other nudists; and them being comfortable nude around her motivates her to be nude around them.And every so often it's because there is a woman/several nearby who is/are confidently naked; and she decides that "if she/they can do it, so can I."Which is the most common path?
For my wife, Di, it was through both "When in Rome" and personal rapport. Di had already been a nudist for 20 years before we visited our nude beach. Up until that time, Di wanted no part of being a nudist, with other nudists. She reluctantly agreed to try it and we did, one Summer day. It was her first time in a social nudist setting with other naked people about. It didn't take her long to take on the "When in Rome" attitude, once we set up our spot, but she was not willing to socialize. She sat reading her book and occasionally looked up to take it all in. We stayed for about 5-6 hrs that day but she promised we'd return again and we did.
Along came Marianna Handler Di's personal rapport and female support. Marianna is a well known female nudist in the Nudist/Naturist circles. She lived here in Southern California and frequented San Onofre State Beach, Trail 6. She was known as The Beach Mom. She was our Ambassador and mediator with the State Park/Beaches officials. She also patrolled the beach and gave you what for if you were acting inappropriately and jeopardizing our nude use status. It was our second visit when she walked up to us and sat on the sand, nearest Di. We talked with her for quite some time and every time we visited, We saw her and talked with her.
She talked to my wife, mostly. Marianna's confidence washed over Di and I could see Di saying to herself, "if she's got this confidence, I'm certain I can have it too." Marianna was so instrumental in Di taking to the social aspect of nudism. I thanked her every visit until she moved away to live near family, several states away.
For my wife, Di, it was through both "When in Rome" and personal rapport.
And I think this is the more "typical" path.
My "evidence" might be anecdotal; but it also the result of 20-some odd years of nudism.
Most (and I'm going to generalize a bit so bare with me; as I do realize there are different individual circumstances) reluctant women who try social nudity have at the very least the notion and expectation that there will be naked people at the chosen venue. They usually have some preconceived notion about how they will feel about it; but the reality of it often (and hopefully) turns out to be different - as they often expect some level of intrusiveness or obtrusiveness. When they realize nudists are most often just naked people "going about their business", a curiosity about it will develop. On our first nudist resort trip, my wife kept looking inside the pool area from our picnic table outside; as she became curious about how "all these naked people were going about (swimming, tanning, socializing) completely naked around each other, yet looking happy and relaxed." She was mystified by it.
The "When in Rome" mind-switch typically takes place subsequently. Oftentimes it is motivated by the desire to "fit in." My wife didn't want to be the "only woman around totally covered-up"; so in the pool area she decided to drop the towel she was wrapping herself with when she realized none of the other women were covering up. Her desire to fit in eclipsed her reluctance being seen naked. Likewise, a good friend of mine shared that she was staying (dressed) in a bungalow at a resort; and when she saw that everyone outside her bungalow was nude, she felt compelled to just get naked too before going for a walk.
Personal rapport might not happen for non-social nudists; but it is a common factor and works very well in conjunction with the "When in Rome" mindset. My first wife was befriended by Cheri and Ali from Travelites; and their example and friendship was instrumental in getting my wife comfortable with social nudity. My wife had been nude at the resort but not socially. Being around these women - who were totally comfortable interacting with her nude - motivated my wife to drop her sarong and be naked with them; and later everyone else. The same wife once befriended a "reluctant and scared" wife; who would later decide to get naked to hang out with her.
Once the "When in Rome" switch happens; well it lasting is about time, repetition and opportunity. A lot of women "switch back" if nudism is not continuously practiced. For my wife it's no longer "When in Rome" but rather "I'm a Roman." Because she knows she's going to be naked and is confident about it, she no longer needs any kind of "motivation" to get naked.
Anyway that's my personal "anecdotal evidence"; and it'll be interesting to see if other differ/agree.
My wife doesn't want to go to a clothing optional beach or resort. Any stories of how to get someone to be willing to go?I know I keep recommending the same thing, but it really is a good resource. That Famous Fig Leaf. Buy it, read it yourself, and either give it to her to read or just leave it out where she can find it.
You're pretty spot on with Di's path from home/backyard nudist to social nudist. She dislikes being center of attention. We used to have lots of parties here at home but she's, in her words, "a horrible hostess!" She doesn't like to mingle and socialize... initially. Once things start going, she loosens up and is able to slide into the hostess mode and has a good time
With nudism/social nudism, she did very well with at home and backyard nudism or even nudism in secluded spots on lakes and the river. She did not entertain any involvement in visiting a club or resort and if I mentioned the nude beach, she said "as long as no one else is on the beach!" Her anxiety with nudity around other nude people was what kept us from going social much earlier. Because it was a new adventure for her/for us, she would damn near have anxiety attacks at the mention of visiting any place with other naked people. I think what finally did it for her was that I had visited our nude beach several times on my own and she finally decided that I was telling her the truth about it so she gave it a try.
She, too, watched the goings on on the beach and by the mid way point in our first visit. She mentioned that everyone was just acting normally and it wasn't what she expected to see. She realized that if she got up to go into the water, or we took a walk, the others didn't stop mid sentence to watch us or to look her over. Granted, there had to be those few that did but she envisioned the entire beach watching her. By the end of that first day, she was surprised at how little the vast majority of those nude on the beach, stopped, stared and sized her up. As our visits increased, many of those that had seen us on the beach previously, came over or while passing by said "hello, good to see you both here again!" Still didn't get her to jump up and make some new friends but eventually it happened.
"Personality types" often do play a part in social nudist development.
My wife is an extrovert "chatterbox" type. She will start a conversation with pretty much anyone anywhere. So her "When in Rome" moment and close nudist interaction happened pretty much simultaneously. Like the moment she dropped her towel in the pool area, she started a conversation with the couple sitting next to us. Which in turn increased her confidence being naked around people rather rapidly.
An introvert/shy type might find nudist interaction more challenging; and not necessarily because of the nudity per se.
I don't think personality types will have a substantial effect on embracing nudism. It might just make it a bit slower.
Even though my Luann or possibly your own wife is your enigma if they take a minute to slide into things so be it. It does not mean for someone like me who is wired to figure out and understand everything. That's always has been a real help to edge me beyond my competitors in my job but not necessarily an asset in personal life. I'm always self coaching myself to shut my pie hole at home.
I could go on and on what makes me think what the heck ? We just went through this when she hosted a home get together a week ago when friends came in and suddenly she puts clothes to greet them only to take them off shortly after. They have only seen her naked 1000 times already? Things need to make sense to me and sometimes I can not stop asking myself ehhh?
We just bought a little vintage camper and took it to Cypress Cove. My wife who is not a nudist had a few days off between jobs and decided to she would join me for a coupe of days. She did not go nude but saw how much I really enjoyed being there and how at ease I was . She has no intention of going nude but will join me from time time to time. It also helps that my son lives in Orlando 45 minutes away from there so she can always visit him.
I was at Cypress Cove Nudist Resort a few years ago and a guy had brought his new girlfriend (who was not a nudist) with out telling her about the nudism. They arrived late at night so she didn't see anyone nude. The next day she was really in shock and she ended up leaving and flying home. Not the way to go about it.