Have you ever noticed how easy it is to change pubic hair into... public... hair?
I guess that means that nudists have public pubic hair.

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What is the difference between shame and guilt?
Its guilt to sleep with somebody's wife,
but it's a shame to miss the opportunity.

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I just read a book about the "Stockholm Syndrome."
It was lousy at first, but by the end I kind'a liked it.

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Two elderly gentlemen were visiting.
"I guess you're never too old," the first one boasted.
"Why just yesterday a pretty college girl said she'd be interested in dating me.
But to be perfectly honest, I don't quite understand it."

"Well," said his friend, "you have to remember that nowadays women are more aggressive.
They don't mind being the one to ask."

"No, I don't think it's that."

"Well, maybe you remind her of her father."

"No, it's not that either.
It's just that she also mentioned something about carbon 14."

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It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.

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If you want to become rich... find out what poor people do... and DON'T do it. ;-)

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Little Johnny wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents for days. Finally his mother talked his reluctant father into taking him.

"So how was it?" his mother asked when they returned home.

"Great," Little Johnny replied.

"Did you and your father have a good time?" asked his mother.

"Yeah, Daddy especially liked it," exclaimed Little Johnny excitedly, especially when one of the animals came racing home at 30 to 1!!!"

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... "Did you and your father have a good time?" asked his mother."Yeah, Daddy especially liked it," exclaimed Little Johnny excitedly, especially when one of the animals came racing home at 30 to 1!!!"

I remember one time, when I bet on a horse that went off at 25 to 1 ... but the other horses started at 12:30 :-/

- - - That does happen sometimes. The gates open... and... one of the horses just stands there as if to say... What's all the noise and excitement about? - - It's also fun to watch a huge crowd favorite go off @ 1:9 odds ... and then finish out of the money... That is, unless you were one of those people who thought it was a good, safe investment... next time, put your money in a bank :-))

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Tea is an Evil Substance:Tea is much more dangerous beer!Please avoid drinking tea.I discovered this last night. I had drunk 14 beers up until 3am at the pub while my wife was at home drinking tea at home.You should have seen how angry and violent she was when I got home.I was peaceful, silent and headed to bed as she shouted at me, all night long and even into the next morning. ...

Are you sure you were in the right house? ... Some women get really upset when a drunken stranger tries to get into their bed. ;-)

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I started carrying a pistol after an attempted mugging a few years ago.
Since then, my muggings have been much more successful.

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