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RE: Random thoughts and jokes

My ex insisted I go to weight-watchers. She said she would only have sex with a man with a trim figure. I went along with it until I discovered she was having sex with a man with a trim figure while I was at those damned meetings.

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RE: Random thoughts and jokes

One night my ex and I were watching TV. When I removed my glasses to wipe them she said sweetly,
"Without your glasses you look like the same handsome young man I married. With a big smile I said,
"Without my glasses you still look pretty good too."
I don't know why she didn't think that was funny.

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RE: Random thoughts and jokes

I knew I had a career as a conman when I actually made my wife feel sorry for the girl who lost her panties and bra in my car.

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RE: Random thoughts and jokes

My ex told me I should be more affectionate. So I brought home my girlfriend.

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RE: Random thoughts and jokes

One Saturday night I said. "Let's go out on the town tonight and have some fun."
My Wife replied, "Good idea, and if you get home before me, I promise, when I do, Ill be real quiet."

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RE: Random thoughts and jokes

My ex was gossiping on the phone, when I overheard her say, "My sister is frigid."
I guess I shouldn't have said, "No, she isn't."

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RE: Random thoughts and jokes

My ex said, "Tom, you're the best friend I've ever had."
I guess I shouldn't have said, "You're near the top of my list hon."

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RE: Random thoughts and jokes

All men should have at least two wives. That way you will have them always competing against each other to be the best wife.

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RE: Random thoughts and jokes

NO NO NO - Don't you see the flaw in your plan? Two Mothers In Law.

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RE: Random thoughts and jokes

I never thought about that, I shall have to let one of them down gently.I'm glad I did'nt have three of them.

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