Naked Talk
A place for everyone to talk about anything and everything! Post topics from whats going on in the playoffs (Go Steelers) to your nudist lifestyle or even put questions to the group. Nothing is really off limits, just be considerate with your wording. I want everyone to feel free to create new topics, post in threads, and post pics.
- created by MTBnudist
Clothing Optional Venues
Return to DiscussionsWho here goes to C/O venues and wear clothes? My opinion is, if I go through the time, effort and expense to travel to an area where nudity is allowed, then I want to spend as much time as possible nude. If the weather is conducive to nudity, why wear anything? There are hundreds of thousands of places I can go where I HAVE to remain clothed, so if I want to wear clothes I can just go to one of them. If you go somewhere that clothing is optional, why wear clothes? What's the point of going, if not to get nekkid?
In the not so distant past, club and resort management and owners pontificated the evils of wearing swim suits in the pool and hot tubs. The residual soap in the bathing suits would clog up and ruin the filtering system of these pools. Now, they are allowing these suits to be worn in the pools?
I've said this many, many times before; "nudists are our own worst enemy." Some hate clubs and resorts because of rules, they're too expensive, they won't let you in unless you're a couple... . All these excuses, and more, will be the demise of club/resort social nudism when those nudists willing to patronize these places are too old to travel or eventually die off. If our clubs continue to allow more clothed people in an intended nude environment, less and less real nudists will visit.
I suspect, for those of us with nudist partners, will stop going when this happens. Di likes to visit places with a fair mix of men and women, gay or straight but a fair mix and that fair mix needs to be naked, like she is. Di's said this many times; "I'm not on display here. I come here to enjoy myself in the company of others who also like to be naked. If you prefer being clothed, there are plenty of other places you can visit, that we nudists can not unless we wear clothes." She makes a good point. WHY do we allow the clothed to take over our places when we can not be naked, if we choose, in their places? Owners and management need to stand firm on these policies of "clothing optional." C/O was intended for a transition being clothed, into nudism, not a gateway into remaining clothed amongst the nude.
If you're partner isn't comfortable being naked in front of you or in your own home, you're delusional to think she'll strip off in front of dozens of other naked strangers!
Andy, you're touching on an important point that I'd like to quickly expand on (not that it hasn't many times).
People who have been reading our posts will find several similarities in our experiences and others'. That is not coincidental. And one basic similarity is that our wives were comfortable nude around us.
There is a poll that was taken in the UK that revealed that 16% of women were never nude around their partner. I think if you were to add "interacting while nude", the percentage would probably double or triple.
Today, an interaction between my wife and I occurred that happens nearly daily. We were getting ready to go out, and my wife came out of the bedroom wearing only a bra. She was trying to decide on what to wear, and we discussed her options. The fact that she was near-nude during that interaction was not a "thing" for either one of us. And in the years we've been together, it has never really been. And it's due in part to the fact that I encouraged it.
When your partner is comfortable nude around you, "transitioning" from home to an outdoors space becomes less daunting; especially when some measure of privacy is established, such as hanging out on the "far end of the nude beach" or "away from the pool area." Then the only "challenging part" is being seen nude by other people. And that confidence that be built up over time. Did my wife just start walking up naked to other nudists and starting conversations? Of course not. But being totally comfortable nude around me created the opportunity to go to resorts, and for her to become accustomed to gradually increasing interactions with other nudists.
I know that emphasizing your S/O being comfortable nude around you "first and foremost" will elicit a "no s**t, Sherlock" response for some. Many will give a reason why: "because of the kids", "because she's gotten older", "because she's put on a few pounds", etc... I'm not saying those reasons are invalid. But working on your S/O getting more comfortable naked around you/at home - even if it takes time - will have strong benefits when/if you do visit a nudist resort. You will feel better about taking her, she will probably feel more inclined to join you; not to mention a "warmer" reception from the nudist community.
Anyway...this is not something that hasn't been said before. Just reiterating...
If you're partner isn't comfortable being naked in front of you or in your own home, you're delusional to think she'll strip off in front of dozens of other naked strangers
Best quotable wake up line for those for the many guys that are "stuck" that come to the site and ask how can I get my S/O to participate. Believe me I feel where they are after having lived that life myself. It might even apply to the forced to be closet nudist because of nudity what so ever by anyone is frowned upon. . My Ex might have been 5' nothing but definitely ruled and I know I was not alone in that dept.
If you're partner isn't comfortable being naked in front of you or in your own home, you're delusional to think she'll strip off in front of dozens of other naked strangersBest quotable wake up line for those for the many guys that are "stuck" that come to the site and ask how can I get my S/O to participate. Believe me I feel where they are after having lived that life myself. It might even apply to the forced to be closet nudist because of nudity what so ever by anyone is frowned upon. . My Ex might have been 5' nothing but definitely ruled and I know I was not alone in that dept.
Thank the man above that you were saved by an Angel! ;-)
Rockdad hit on a subject very close to what I am conversing with a friend about, on another nudist website. We took our conversation to email because there was too much personal info being shared.
His wife is a constant contradiction with nudity. From all his stories and continuing incidents, day to day, I'm irritated with her and I don't even live with her!! We all have a S/O that makes us scratch our heads, from time to time, but his wife is hot and mostly cold with nudity at home and in front of him. But, then a hot day with use of the pool and she acts like a full time nudist. The worse part is she will not talk to him about what concerns her about nudism in general. At least if your SO talks about what bothers her/him about it, you can work on fixing it or understand why it won't ever happen.
His wife is a constant contradiction with nudity. From all his stories and continuing incidents, day to day, I'm irritated with her and I don't even live with her!! We all have a S/O that makes us scratch our heads, from time to time, but his wife is hot and mostly cold with nudity at home and in front of him. But, then a hot day with use of the pool and she acts like a full time nudist. The worse part is she will not talk to him about what concerns her about nudism in general.
This reminds me of one of my first nudist chatpals. We started around the same time (late 90's), developed a friendship and shared our progress with our respective wives. He seemed "stuck" though; as his wife was constantly "hot and cold" about nudity.
What sometimes happens is that the wife is not entirely opposed to nudity in a private setting; but finds discussing it uncomfortable or even "cringe." And if the husband has a strong interest in nudism, she might get concerned about it being taken "too far", i.e. beyond the bounds of her comfort level. If she happens to demonstrate some comfort or confidence with nudity; she might get scared that her husband will interpret it as "openness" to being a nudist. And if she perceives this to be fact, she might immediately "retreat" back into modesty; leaving the husband confused and/or frustrated.
My then-wife initially had some of the same concerns. With all the books and periodicals about nudism all around the house, my constant nudity at home and the time I spent on nudist websites, she was concerned that I'd want her to "just be naked all the time." So on the few occasions where she'd be comfortable naked around the house, any "push" for more consistent nudity on my part would be met with a rebuttal or a return to her "modest ways." Getting us to become AANR members was not an easy task; as she felt that signing off on it meant she would "officially" become a nudist, which she didn't feel applied to her. It took a while to convince her.
Of course I don't know it that's the situation here; but it often has to do with "control." This need to be totally in control of their body - or the level of nudity in their home - or other people's perception of them - is what often leads to these "hot and cold" situations - in my "armchair psychologist" opinion.
Well...my chatfriend eventually chose to just give up. My wife luckily met some nudist women, who showed and explained to her that she wasn't really "giving anything up" by choosing to not wear clothes if she didn't have to.
There is no simple solution here; especially when the wife is not communicating her concerns. Luckily my (current) wife is very vocal about her boundaries so I haven't had to do much work there. But I would start with trying to identify those boundaries; as strenuous and frustrating as it might be.
Oops...there I go going down the rabbit hole again...back to the OP!
No apologies necessary Nudony. You brought up some very good points that I not only agree with but have used in the past but have actually neglected to inform this friend about. I think it will be helpful to him to read what you've typed!
As I've always said, There is wisdom in the masses! ;D
That's true. And although I am for a visible designation of the pool area as "nude mandatory", I am also against the "enforcement" of it (which I should have specified earlier).
I made an interesting "discovery" today that fits right into what I was saying earlier.
My wife and I were at LOTW yesterday. I was going to post about it as a "C/O resort" experience; but I had a "hunch" and went to their website. Turns out they were never C/O:
"Nudity is mandatory in the pool, hot tub, sauna, lake, beaches, piers, clubhouse, and the lawn area between the pool, clubhouse, and beach."
I've been going to a nude-mandatory resort all along and never realized it. Wow.
I never realized it because no one ever said anything to my wife about the fact that on her first trip, she wore a sundress while being given the tour, and wore it everywhere outside the pool area. So it was "mandatory but not enforced."
You'd think that this "lack of enforcement" would cause some people, who like me didn't read the resort FAQ, to cover up outside the pool area. But nope; everyone there yesterday (and it was very busy) was completely naked throughout the entire resort. The one (partial) exception was one lady laying near us who occasionally put on a shirt. It was obvious she was only doing it to protect from the sun; as she would transition back and forth from being bottomless and nude depending on the position of the sun. It was reminiscent what Andy was saying about his wife Di.
That's what gave me a "hunch." I thought "wait a minute!" The lady who checked us in was nude. Everyone at the resort was nude all the time and everywhere. Is it actually C/O? I got my answer by checking the website. It surprised me.
This disproves the theory that if nudity is not enforced, people will cover up, and "textilism" will proliferate. What happened yesterday might indicate why that isn't the case. When we went to check in, we ran into a couple of nude people in the parking lot. The lady who checked us in was nude. She recognized my wife and started chatting with her. My wife glanced over by the lake area and saw that everyone there was nude. We walked back to the car; and my wife, who sometimes likes to go find a spot for us to sit before undressing, decided there was no real reason to "wait to get naked"; undressed and tossed her sundress in trunk. We walked over to the lake nude, where everyone else also was. Other people arrived; and as they saw my wife, myself and everyone else naked...got naked too.
And this happened without us knowing nudity was actually mandatory everywhere. It was just organic.
I think sometimes resort owners don't always understand how the human mind works. Newbies notwithstanding; if clothed people find themselves surrounded by nude people, either two things will happen: they will feel really self conscious about being the only people covered; and will either want to fit in, or run away. Nothing really needs to be enforced; unless a person's behavior reflects strong body-shame. It starts with the managers, and then members, setting the tone. Being friendly and social. There is a reason why my wife and visitors at LOTW are comfortable leaving their clothes in the car and staying naked all day. And it starts with management. I know it's been said before; but I think a lot of resorts could learn a thing from LOTW.