NU
nudonyAuteur d'origine
May 12, 2017So...my fiance was voyeured...
It was a situation I considered insignificant (maybe I'm just jaded); but my fiance didn't see it that way. As a matter of fact she felt strongly about it. And we squabbled a bit about it (my fault.) She subsequently opted to stay covered on our vacation.
It almost ruined our St Martin trip for me; and I didn't get to hang out with the nudists I had set up a meet-up with. I wasn't too happy.
I initially felt my nudist efforts had been annihilated in one single stroke due to this imprudent person. But I know see it as a setback as opposed to a final blow. I know there are many right here among us who have faced a similar situation.
But that was two months ago and I have had time to ponder the situation. And voyeurism.
My fiance indeed reacted strongly to being voyeured. And I started remembering about my ex, who had a much different attitude about it. It was a combination of defiance and...compassion. I'll explain later.
I'm not going to elaborate too much on the ex's background story. She started out reluctant - same as my fiance, got into home-nudism, lukewarmly tried resort nudity. It wasn't until she found herself - reluctantly - in the insulated and homogeneous environment of the non-landed club that she became comfortable being completely naked with other nudists. Her "naked confidence" during that time increased due to the relationships we were fostering. She accepted being looked at naked because she knew people were looking at HER and not her individual body parts. And even if they were, it was respectfully, and followed by some sort of positive comment/compliment.
When we started attending larger and busier venues, she took her "naked confidence" with her. At that stage she had started shaving and sat/lied in a way that was comfortable to her; which sometimes meant legs ajar.
Due to her "unique" physical attributes and natural exhuberance...she got voyeured. Sometimes it was inconspicuously; sometimes it was much more blatant. Especially if she happened to be applying sunscreen.
And her attitude about it was defiance...and compassion.
Defiance because she felt strongly that nudism was about "having nothing to hide"; and it had taken her a while to be totally comfortable naked, and she wasn't going to let a "voyeur" undo the comfort levels she had achieved.
Compassion because she felt that voyeurs were more ignorant than malicious. Ignorant of the fact that they did not understand that nudity - with all its bits and nooks and crannies - is natural and not something to be glossed over. She even stated once that she felt sorry for people at the resort that still got hung up on what body part they were seeing; especially considering everyone else was also naked.
And so she just refused to hide.
Voyeurism is unfortunately a nearly unavoidable part of public nudity. But as I learned with my fiance, you can't dictate how our women are going to feel about it. Of course, my ex had a lot more time and opportunities to "train" herself on how to react - or not react - to being voyeured. Not everyone is going to "get there." That fact hit home for me with my fiance in St Martin. And now I have to start all over with her.
It was a situation I considered insignificant (maybe I'm just jaded); but my fiance didn't see it that way. As a matter of fact she felt strongly about it. And we squabbled a bit about it (my fault.) She subsequently opted to stay covered on our vacation.
It almost ruined our St Martin trip for me; and I didn't get to hang out with the nudists I had set up a meet-up with. I wasn't too happy.
I initially felt my nudist efforts had been annihilated in one single stroke due to this imprudent person. But I know see it as a setback as opposed to a final blow. I know there are many right here among us who have faced a similar situation.
But that was two months ago and I have had time to ponder the situation. And voyeurism.
My fiance indeed reacted strongly to being voyeured. And I started remembering about my ex, who had a much different attitude about it. It was a combination of defiance and...compassion. I'll explain later.
I'm not going to elaborate too much on the ex's background story. She started out reluctant - same as my fiance, got into home-nudism, lukewarmly tried resort nudity. It wasn't until she found herself - reluctantly - in the insulated and homogeneous environment of the non-landed club that she became comfortable being completely naked with other nudists. Her "naked confidence" during that time increased due to the relationships we were fostering. She accepted being looked at naked because she knew people were looking at HER and not her individual body parts. And even if they were, it was respectfully, and followed by some sort of positive comment/compliment.
When we started attending larger and busier venues, she took her "naked confidence" with her. At that stage she had started shaving and sat/lied in a way that was comfortable to her; which sometimes meant legs ajar.
Due to her "unique" physical attributes and natural exhuberance...she got voyeured. Sometimes it was inconspicuously; sometimes it was much more blatant. Especially if she happened to be applying sunscreen.
And her attitude about it was defiance...and compassion.
Defiance because she felt strongly that nudism was about "having nothing to hide"; and it had taken her a while to be totally comfortable naked, and she wasn't going to let a "voyeur" undo the comfort levels she had achieved.
Compassion because she felt that voyeurs were more ignorant than malicious. Ignorant of the fact that they did not understand that nudity - with all its bits and nooks and crannies - is natural and not something to be glossed over. She even stated once that she felt sorry for people at the resort that still got hung up on what body part they were seeing; especially considering everyone else was also naked.
And so she just refused to hide.
Voyeurism is unfortunately a nearly unavoidable part of public nudity. But as I learned with my fiance, you can't dictate how our women are going to feel about it. Of course, my ex had a lot more time and opportunities to "train" herself on how to react - or not react - to being voyeured. Not everyone is going to "get there." That fact hit home for me with my fiance in St Martin. And now I have to start all over with her.
RéagirRépondreS'abonner
Réponses
- BI
May 13, 2017I'll never understand this. Every woman I've ever known spends a great deal of time and effort daily making themselves look attractive so that other people will look at them, but when they get naked they want to be invisible. They don't want anyone to see them. Can someone please explain this to me.
RéagirRépondre - HA
May 13, 2017Bill, let me put it simply - there is a huge difference between a person catching a quick glance and a perv gawking.
RéagirRépondre - TH
May 13, 2017[quote]I'll never understand this. Every woman I've ever known spends a great deal of time and effort daily making themselves look attractive so that other people will look at them, but when they get naked they want to be invisible. They don't want anyone to see them. Can someone please explain this to me.[/quote] At a nudist resort my wife was sitting and relaxing on a deck chair after having been in the pool with our sons. Her hair was wet and stringy and she was not wearing any make up. That did not stop a perv from approaching her with a full erection. I was in the pool. She called to me. the perv ran off. We reported him and he was told to leave.RéagirRépondre - MEMembreMay 15, 2017[quote]I'll never understand this. Every woman I've ever known spends a great deal of time and effort daily making themselves look attractive so that other people will look at them, but when they get naked they want to be invisible. They don't want anyone to see them. Can someone please explain this to me.[/quote]
Reading your response, it comes across to me that you're ok with a man sporting an erection violating a woman's space just because she likes to look attractive.
Boy, do we have a long way to go.RéagirRépondre - MEMembreMay 16, 2017
Nudony I hate that for you guys. My wife after a bad experience our 1st time out said she would never go again meaning socially nude. It was a few years and thankfully it turned out to be a hiatus instead of the never again. I was edgy as hell when we finally did successfully get out socially. I literally was on guard duty to avert another bad experience. And yes I did deflect some unwanted attention towards her from time to time.
In short after she continued to grow in her own skin gaining confidence in her social nudity I felt I could relax myself. Don't get me wrong I still keep very aware for her. She is quite at home at our club and if I should not be near her she defiantly has demonstrated she can handle that random problem visitor.
I truly hope you guys can recover from the bad experience.
RéagirRépondre - NUnudonyAuteur d'origineMay 18, 2017
Thanks all for the support!!
Yeah...it was tough...but heck I've been there before. And I'm definitely not quitting now!
As far as getting my fiance to re-join the nudist ranks...well it's going to take some work and patience. She still goes nude at home; so I'm confident now that we can rebuild from there!
RéagirRépondre - FO
May 21, 2017@HotHarleyCouple
You really do know how to be an asshole, don't you? All of the other posts made sense to me and I think you'll find most women have been there - me included. Go crawl back under your rock, please.
RéagirRépondre - NUnudonyAuteur d'origineMay 21, 2017This is actually funny to me!
Yeah I'm a bullshit artist. I'm actually a 70 year old single man typing fictional stories from his mother's basement to get a rise out of people.
ROFLMAO!!! That reply is deeply insensitive when it comes to women and nudism though. Not cool at all.RéagirRépondre - THMay 21, 2017
My fiance indeed reacted strongly to being voyeured.
voyeured? That isn't actually a word.
RéagirRépondre - HO
May 22, 2017[quote]@HotHarleyCouple You really do know how to be an asshole, don't you? All of the other posts made sense to me and I think you'll find most women have been there - me included. Go crawl back under your rock, please.[/quote] So Media, You are trying to tell us all, that you have actually been HIT ON, by some Pervert with a Hard On....who was Lusting after "YOU"???? That is exactly WHY....we react to these BS Posts, in the manner that we do. They are nothing more, than some Creep like the OP is, trying to get others to Fall for his warped Fantasy. May be, if you were able to SQUEEZE OUT from underneath the Dinner Table, you would see for yourself, that this JERK OFF artist is just getting off, on this site FULL of Morons, who buy into each and every Lame story, that these exact same pervs, continue to write about. Even this Creeps immature reply to us, reeks of coming from some 16 year old kid, who has discovered that this forum, is a great way, to get his Rocks off on. I am sure though, that he will not be stroking to any of your pictures, but.....I'm sure that he will find something to entertain himself with...besides you Idiots, actually falling for any of the BS crap, that he is constantly dishing out for you and the other Morons, to chow down on! You people are just Frigging SAD!RéagirRépondre - THMay 22, 2017@HHC
Glad to see you are still calling out the phonies As I said, voyeured isn't actually a word. No one can be voyeured.RéagirRépondre - MEMembreMay 22, 2017
I've known Nudony from a couple other sites besides this one for several years. I have always known him to be a straight up good guy and has been a good contributor to them.
RéagirRépondre - ST
May 22, 2017And in defense of voyeured: The writer, using the dictionary word "voyeurism" in the subject, plainly knows the conventional usage. "To voyeur" is a coinage, but a useful and clever one, instantly clear in context. It takes many words, otherwise, to refer to the experience of being naked and subject to the gaze of a person who seeks sexual pleasure from the sight of you without regard for your feelings in the matter.
RéagirRépondre - BR
May 22, 2017[quote]@HHC Glad to see you are still calling out the phonies As I said, voyeured isn't actually a word. No one can be voyeured.[/quote] Technically, VOYEURED is a word and also not a word. If you are watching others have sex, you are being a yoveur, or are partaking in voyeurism, but the act of watching them is thattheyare being Voyeured, as in spied on by others while they are having sex. As it was stated by another user, it depends on the definition or how you see the word is used, or it's interpretation.RéagirRépondre - BRMay 22, 2017[quote]This Nudony is obviously just yet another Jerk Off artist, getting his Cheap Jollies off, at the expense of all the Idiots on this site " Andy" that fall for his BULL SHIT! Each and everyone of his posts, is in regards to Forcing his Wife or his Fiance, depending on his mood at the time, into Nudity. Yet, he is an expert on all other phases of Nudity? No mention of his Wife or his Fiance on his profile, NONE at all? If a couple are into the same things Great! If not? then why the constant obsession at their ages, to get them involved in this Creepy Males own perverse needs? If she was not into Nudity when she was much Younger, the chances of introducing her to Nudity now, that her body is showing its AGE, is definitely not ever going to happen. Nudony is just another Fake and Flake, and it makes us Laugh, that the same dweebs like "Andy Know it All" continue to offer their Worldly Knowledge on each and every posted Topic. This guy is soooooo FULL of SHIT! Sad that you people fall for it, each and every time! His alias is probably Jim Shorts, yet another Creep here on this site. WHY, do you people continue to Fall for this Crap? Are you really that F#@KING STUPID??? Wait a minute, no need to answer that! LOL[/quote] You know what, you 2 are well out of order and need to keep your over the top opinions to yourselves. You have no right to put anyone down on this site, specially when you both look older than time itself ! Your a pair of bastards for all that you have said on this guys topic. I don't care if I get reported for my words, but you two need to take a look at yourselves PROPERLY. Or put simply, F*$K off and keep your dumb assed opinions to yourselves.RéagirRépondre
- BRMay 22, 2017[quote]@HotHarleyCouple You really do know how to be an asshole, don't you? All of the other posts made sense to me and I think you'll find most women have been there - me included. Go crawl back under your rock, please.[/quote] I so agree with you on this one !RéagirRépondre
- BRMay 22, 2017[quote]@HHC Glad to see you are still calling out the phonies As I said, voyeured isn't actually a word. No one can be voyeured.[/quote] Your another mouthpiece. How do you know this guys words are phony ? Your just as bad as HHC.RéagirRépondre
- THMay 22, 2017[quote]And in defense of voyeured: The writer, using the dictionary word "voyeurism" in the subject, plainly knows the conventional usage. "To voyeur" is a coinage, but a useful and clever one, instantly clear in context.It takes many words,otherwise, to refer to the experience of being naked and subject to the gaze of a person who seeks sexual pleasure from the sight of you without regard for your feelings in the matter.[/quote] Yes it takes many words. But you must use words that actually exist. "Voyeured" ain't a word.RéagirRépondre
- THMay 22, 2017[quote]vouyered not a word - depends how you look at it[/quote] LOL - The pun master strikes againRéagirRépondre
