I learn from the mistakes of others.......................who took my advice.
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- 2H2hangfreeUrsprünglicher VerfasserJan 11, 2022
I'm excited that the phrase get the fuck away from me is no longer rude but a public service announcement.
ReagierenAntworten - 2H2hangfreeUrsprünglicher VerfasserJan 14, 2022
You come from dust and you will return to dust. That's why l don't dust, it could be someone l know.
ReagierenAntworten - 2H2hangfreeUrsprünglicher VerfasserJan 21, 2022
If we are ever in a Don't Laugh Situation....what ever you do...don't look over to me.
ReagierenAntworten - 2H2hangfreeUrsprünglicher VerfasserJan 25, 2022
Research shows that most women will at one point in their lives possess highly intelligent DNA unfortunately most will spit it out
ReagierenAntworten - 2H2hangfreeUrsprünglicher VerfasserJan 31, 2022
At my funeral would someone please take the bouquet off of my coffin and throw it into the crowd to see who is next.
ReagierenAntworten - 1N
Jan 31, 2022You sure you want that Bud?!
If the bouquet hits the ground; you're going to hell!ReagierenAntworten - LA
Feb 7, 2022A woman was changing clothes one morning while her husband sat on the bed watching TV. After removing all of her clothes she looked at herself in the full-length mirror. She said "I'm old, fat, ugly and wrinkled". Then she turned to her husband and asked "Don't you have anything nice you can say about me?". He looked at her a minute then said "Your eyesight is damn near perfect".
ReagierenAntworten - MI
Feb 7, 2022Along the same lines, Herb, Fred, and Nancy l all lived in a retirement community. Nancy really wanted to get Herb's attention so she decided to come to breakfast naked one morning. Fred said to Herb, "Can you see what Nancy is wearing this morning?" Herb replied, "Not too well, but it whatever it is, it sure needs ironing!"
ReagierenAntworten - ME
Feb 7, 2022What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? [quote]Anybody have an owner's manual for a wife? Mine's making a whining sounds.[/quote] Slap the bitch.ReagierenAntworten - 2H2hangfreeUrsprünglicher VerfasserFeb 11, 2022
Another fine day ruined by responsibility...
ReagierenAntworten - 2H2hangfreeUrsprünglicher VerfasserFeb 19, 2022
You can't control everything..... your hair was put on your head to remind you of that.
ReagierenAntworten - 2H2hangfreeUrsprünglicher VerfasserMar 2, 2022
I think I'm starting to lose my mind. But as long as I keep the part that tells me when I got to pee, I should be okay.
ReagierenAntworten - LAMar 3, 2022[quote]I think I'm starting to lose my mind. But as long as I keep the part that tells me when I got to pee, I should be okay.[/quote] Until it comes time to poop.ReagierenAntworten
- LAMar 3, 2022
I wasn't planning on going for a run today.......but those cops came out of nowhere
ReagierenAntworten - 2H2hangfreeUrsprünglicher VerfasserMar 7, 2022
I'm always forced to do shit I'm not qualified for..... Like being nice to fucking idiots.
ReagierenAntworten - 2H2hangfreeUrsprünglicher VerfasserMar 9, 2022
Today I am not gonna be an asshole, I am gonna be nice.... Stop laughing, it could happen.
ReagierenAntworten - 2H2hangfreeUrsprünglicher VerfasserMar 15, 2022
If l'm ever killed by a mountain lion.....just know my last words were ...Here Kitty Kitty
ReagierenAntworten - 2H2hangfreeUrsprünglicher VerfasserMar 17, 2022
Sugar and spice are very very nice........ but so is a woman who can make you cum twice
ReagierenAntworten - 2H2hangfreeUrsprünglicher VerfasserMar 31, 2022
Instead of a sign that says...Do Not Disturb...l need one that says...Already Disturbed, Proceed with Caution.
ReagierenAntworten - 2H2hangfreeUrsprünglicher VerfasserApr 6, 2022
The most terrifying moment in life is when the toilet refuses to flush at someone else's house.
ReagierenAntworten - MA
Apr 7, 2022[quote]The most terrifying moment in life is when the toilet refuses to flush at someone else's house.[/quote] Or worse, overflows!ReagierenAntworten - LAApr 8, 2022[quote]The most terrifying moment in life is when the toilet refuses to flush at someone else's house.Or worse, overflows![/quote]
To alleviate these two terrifying moments
#1. learn to look in the tank, locate the flapper valve, and lift it by hand to flush. The tank only contains clean water not sewage water.
#2. if it looks like it is going to overflow, locate the water supply valve below the tank and close it. Stops the overflow condition.
#3. after either of these circumstances, notify the host so that appropriate remedial actions can be taken to prevent possible further problems.
Much better than having a big mess occur when it doesn't have to, due to proper appropriate response on your part. The host/hostess will appreciate your timely action. I have encountered BOTH of these situations either at my house or at someone else's and did not have a major problem by knowing what to do ahead of time. Hope this helps somebody on here who reads this and uses the info when needed.ReagierenAntworten - 2H2hangfreeUrsprünglicher VerfasserApr 12, 2022
All l know is that l was sitting here, totally innocent, quiet and behaving myself....and then l met y'all.
ReagierenAntworten - 2H2hangfreeUrsprünglicher VerfasserApr 22, 2022
I'm kinda like the total package that got fucked up through shipping and handling.
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